The Suck.
Okay. So TOMORROW is the audition for the big summer dance program my belly-dancing troupe puts on every year.
TOMORROW!
And I still don't know if I want to do it.
I have my choreography worked out -- finished it this morning, heh -- and I could conceivably pull this off. But once I commit, that's twelve weeks of in-studio practices two nights a week, when I'm already out twice a week on other business (drinking the blood of virgins and all that), not to mention daily practices at home.
Twelve weeks.
How many things have you done daily for twelve weeks? Sometimes even bodily functions are not that reliable.
All this on top of the fact that I have a huge art show/convention that same weekend for which I need to prepare new art (that's a hundred hours gone right there).
I also have to play with my husband on a semi-regular basis, take care of 30+ snakes, two cats, and a dog, clean house, and in general be somewhat useful.
What the fuck am I thinking? I am not going to be able to do this!
I really want to be in the show. I couldn't do it last year, but I was just cast in a scenery role -- I wouldn't even have been dancing. This year I'm in the troupe for real, and would have a dancing role. Okay, not a solo, but still . . . this thing draws about two hundred people a night for four nights, that's not an inconsequential crowd. Enough for the gloryhound in me, for sure.
I guess I'm just panicking. I have too much on my plate already. I feel like I could juggle it, but if I try and am wrong, then it's going to be very, very bad.
I can't even ask anyone what to do -- the essential conflict is that the time it'll take me to practice is going to have to come out of husband time, and in today's world, the only response I ever get to that is "Well, who needs men anyway? Just tell him to lump it."
Which is bullshit, because I wouldn't have married him if I didn't want to see him. Just because the rest of the world is populated by harpies and morons does not mean I have to be one. I got married to spend more time with this guy, not less. Something that most women today seem to have trouble understanding. Even the nice women in my class.
I guess I'll pray for some stout advice, and go soak my head.
link
TOMORROW!
And I still don't know if I want to do it.
I have my choreography worked out -- finished it this morning, heh -- and I could conceivably pull this off. But once I commit, that's twelve weeks of in-studio practices two nights a week, when I'm already out twice a week on other business (drinking the blood of virgins and all that), not to mention daily practices at home.
Twelve weeks.
How many things have you done daily for twelve weeks? Sometimes even bodily functions are not that reliable.
All this on top of the fact that I have a huge art show/convention that same weekend for which I need to prepare new art (that's a hundred hours gone right there).
I also have to play with my husband on a semi-regular basis, take care of 30+ snakes, two cats, and a dog, clean house, and in general be somewhat useful.
What the fuck am I thinking? I am not going to be able to do this!
I really want to be in the show. I couldn't do it last year, but I was just cast in a scenery role -- I wouldn't even have been dancing. This year I'm in the troupe for real, and would have a dancing role. Okay, not a solo, but still . . . this thing draws about two hundred people a night for four nights, that's not an inconsequential crowd. Enough for the gloryhound in me, for sure.
I guess I'm just panicking. I have too much on my plate already. I feel like I could juggle it, but if I try and am wrong, then it's going to be very, very bad.
I can't even ask anyone what to do -- the essential conflict is that the time it'll take me to practice is going to have to come out of husband time, and in today's world, the only response I ever get to that is "Well, who needs men anyway? Just tell him to lump it."
Which is bullshit, because I wouldn't have married him if I didn't want to see him. Just because the rest of the world is populated by harpies and morons does not mean I have to be one. I got married to spend more time with this guy, not less. Something that most women today seem to have trouble understanding. Even the nice women in my class.
I guess I'll pray for some stout advice, and go soak my head.
link