A clear head
I wonder what's that like.
I wonder how it feels to not be stuck in a moment that enslaves you over and over again.
I wonder what kind of happiness awaits me when I'm free from the nightmare you put me in. I thought I was done with the craziest I've ever been in but I guess you're a different kind of darkness I never thought I'd encounter in this life.
I wish I was the light to that darkness but then I wish to be many things at this point in my life that I can't carry that light for you anymore. I wished a lot of times that you could be my rest from my own darkness. It hurts because I didn't expect you to be the one who would push me further back into it.
So please let me go. Please please do.
Or please let me be strong enough to leave.