sorry, this is a long entry...
lets see...
friday was pretty good. i was completely bored until 9 when Luke M came over. we sat on my couch watching tv til 3:15 in the morning. so lazy.
today was weird. i got up so early and the ride here to beautiful Grafton, New York lasted soooooooooooo long. my dad kept talking to me about when i was little and how sorry he is for exposing me and my brothers to such awful things. he said "10 years of pain is too much. all i can do is pray that we did no long term damage; and pray that you and your brothers can forgive me." he admitted to thinking i act too old for my age sometimes and i need to think for myself not for other people all the time. i feel so stupid cuz he made me cry cuz he started talking about when i was 10 and i was all alone in plymouth with my mom and i how i had to take care of her cuz he knew she never took care of me. she would start drinking at the beach and then make me get in a car with her and drive home. and when we would get home she would drink more then throw a little hissy fit and scream and yell at me when i told her how much i hated it when she drank.
hes starting to understand me now and why i never came to him (and especially my mom) with my problems.
and he now knows that if anything ever happens again im leaving.
i think he had been waiting a while to have that talk with me.
i love you daddy
friday was pretty good. i was completely bored until 9 when Luke M came over. we sat on my couch watching tv til 3:15 in the morning. so lazy.
today was weird. i got up so early and the ride here to beautiful Grafton, New York lasted soooooooooooo long. my dad kept talking to me about when i was little and how sorry he is for exposing me and my brothers to such awful things. he said "10 years of pain is too much. all i can do is pray that we did no long term damage; and pray that you and your brothers can forgive me." he admitted to thinking i act too old for my age sometimes and i need to think for myself not for other people all the time. i feel so stupid cuz he made me cry cuz he started talking about when i was 10 and i was all alone in plymouth with my mom and i how i had to take care of her cuz he knew she never took care of me. she would start drinking at the beach and then make me get in a car with her and drive home. and when we would get home she would drink more then throw a little hissy fit and scream and yell at me when i told her how much i hated it when she drank.
hes starting to understand me now and why i never came to him (and especially my mom) with my problems.
and he now knows that if anything ever happens again im leaving.
i think he had been waiting a while to have that talk with me.
i love you daddy