I didn't go in to work today, until I had finished the job application I was working on. Originally I'd wanted to go past the hairdresser's to make an appointment to have my hair cut, but by the time I was ready to head off I didn't have the time to do that. I went straight to the osteopath in the lovel local drizzle, appreciative of the existence of my recently acquired Drizabone -- apart from my face, I did stay almost as dry as a bone, too.
The osteopath made a not quite catty comment about the fact that I should be able to get my back to start improving rather than just keeping going at the same level of disfunction, but what with all the stress at work and so on, not much is changing. I really need to get back into the habit of going to the gym regularly -- it make a huge difference to my wellbeing.
Work after the treatment wasn't exactly conducive towards inproving the situation with my back.
Before yet another meeting with Lala about the Accred. Bollox, I called Union Rep for advice about who to stick on my application form, as I do not wish to tell Lala about my looking for another job at this stage, because she would regard it as a betrayal. The thing is, I used to be oh-so-loyal to this place, but months of being told to shut up and having less of a voice in my department of about 4 than I used to have as a postgraduate rep at my previous Uni has ground me done so far, I am finding it really hard to motivate myself even to keep going. I feel I can't be loyal to a place which can't appreciate the fact that I am doing all I can (even bending over backwards at times) without ever a word of acknowledgement or thanks. Instead it's a case of 'if that didn't break yer, how about pushing you some more?'
I still can't get over the fact that Lala said on Tuesday that we should come to her directly if we had any problems, without even realising for half a second that we did. Ceejay and I did try talking to her on many occasions, only to be batted down: variously we've been told to 'shut up', that Lala was 'not in the mood to discuss' something and so on. When we did ask her politely to have a meeting to discuss these issues she initially said yes only to refuse a day later to meet with us. We asked her about that recently and she said that we hadn't spoken to her 'in the right way'. For f**k's sake! Stop patronising us already! But no, more patronising today in a meeting that was scheduled to last from 12 to 13. At 12.55 I commented that I would have to go at 13.00 -- Thursday lunchtime is holy: Yoga time, and I so need to get back to Yoga, I've gone all stiff again. Anyway, Lala looked at me over the top of her glasses and said: 'You do know that this is very important?' AAAAAARGH! You do know that I have a brain?!
Later on it turned out from Ceejay, that apparently the two new appointments to be made to bring our team to full strength are dependent upon the visit of the Accred. Bollox people. If they won't come, no appointments won't be made. Cheers, no pressure then! I wish they'd stop threatening us with one breath and telling us to be loyal with the next.
At least Union Rep understood what I was saying. And Dean agreed to act as my referee.
Fortunately, I don't need to worry about leaving Ceejay in the lurch. Her planned project is so far progressing okay -- hopefully people's good wishes helped.
I left work slightly early to post the application, then wandered past the hairdresser's and my usual girl had an appointment for tomorrow at 15.15. Now I need to decide what I want her to do.
I definitely need the ends tidying, but I am not sure if I want to try growing it all more or chopping it all off again. I am fairly certain I don't want one of the 'fashionable' hairstyles. But I am also getting a bit fed up with the hassles associated with long hair. So what to do? Back to extra short (it'll take about 5 years to get back to where my hair is at the moment, but I am yearning for that feeling of freedom and lightness that
jane_somebody described so beautifully the other day) or stick through the rough patch of narkyness for another time (and try to let my plait grow a little longer). Comments, please?
Hm... I am sure there were a lot more things that I was going to ramble on about when I sat down at the computer, but somehow I can't recall... Oh well... another time.