(no subject)
i do feel bad..my own decisions in life have got me where i am..but the actions of others both to me and thos around me have made me heap of twisted emotions an confusion you see before you today..that i cant feel bad for...the intensity has grown to boiling and i fear the worse...i always fear the worse...why be dissapointed once agin..but im takeing the chance...im makeing the effort of my life here..ive tried hard before an its blown back every time..ive let her in more than ive ever let another..i guess in a way it upsets a side of me that has always said "here it comes..anytime now" .. do you in out there in zombie land here me..no because i still feel the need to keep these feelings private...lock them up...but when someone stumbles along the key they are extremely afraid of whats inside...maybe im just afraid of what someone whould think of what im all about...im embarassed at this point..of all of it..my whole life...pointless.....directionless....fuck it all...
this is where it gets me...talking about it...what a crock of shit...if i go to sleep ill be in the worse mood when i wake up....i need help...but i dont want it
this is where it gets me...talking about it...what a crock of shit...if i go to sleep ill be in the worse mood when i wake up....i need help...but i dont want it