Life and randomness
So goal for this year: make it better than last, which shouldn't be that hard considering last year sucked!
Basically that's what I've been trying to do this year so far, except for a few things in the first week, it's going relatively well.
I've been meaning to post on here for awhile, but as is obvious, have failed to do so. So I'm sure this journal entry will be a mix of randomness and seriousness aka rambling.
Last year was not a very happy year, but I am very determined to make this one a better one. I don't even have a good reason for last year being very bad...nothing particularly depressing or life changing occurred...it just was kind of an overall cloud of suckiness that seemed to eat me up.
BUT this year is better. Why? Because I say so, that's why.
So far nothing truly noteworthy has occurred, but I've been enjoying the little things in life, which in all reality is probably what I need to be focusing on. I get so busy and stressed out and just generally caught up in all the things I have to do that never seem to get done that it really takes a toll on me. So, as funny as this sounds, one of my goals this year is to waste more time. Well, maybe not so much waste more time, but take more time to myself and acknowledge that it's okay to be lazy and have relaxing days.
Still working at Yolano Vet. This is now, officially, the longest that I've kept a job (about a year and a half), which in all reality is because I don't have a good reason to leave. Sometimes I wish I could just quit, but in all reality it's a pretty decent job...for now anyway. The paperwork is horrendous! I don't mind doing the rather chaotic outdoor clinics even when it's freezing or insanely hot, but having to sit in front of a computer for hours doing tedious paperwork is not my idea of fun. As a matter of fact, I really dread the days that I have to spend doing it. It takes so freaking long too! *sigh* but it does pay the bills...
Speaking of bills...I forget to give myself credit where it is due sometimes. I definitely do not have money to spare by any means, and most of the time I consider myself a rather poor, struggling college student, but when I stop and look at what I am managing to do I have to say I'm not doing half bad.
Two or three times this week I have taken for granted that I am paying my own way through school (with the help of scholarships and grants of course), paying my own rent and phn and utility bills, and even most of my car insurance/bills. It has been set into my head that this is what I need to do, but I forget that a lot of other people are still having their parents pay for most everything. Good for them and their families; I'm glad that they are able to do that. However, I can't quite say that I envy them. I like having my freedom and independence. I like that I don't have to ask for money and feel guilty as a result of that. I feel like I'm under enough pressure as is without adding monetary guilt to the deal. So, yay me for managing to be a full time college student, working between 20-40 hours in a week, and being part of the Sac State Ballroom Dance Company. Funny that I still feel so inadequate at times...but I'm working on it.
So sticking with the whole money subject here...I am trying to actually be able to save some money this year. Probably impossible, but an endeavor I shall work at anyhow. I am hoping that we can get another roommate in our place because that would save us about $100 per month and we'd be helping someone out by offering practically everything they need as far as furniture and appliances go and we're very close to school. Meg may be moving in with us, but we haven't heard back from her in awhile so I don't really know. We are trying to get someone in here that we know mainly for comfort and sanity reasons. I guess if finding a roommate doesn't work out we can always look for a smaller place...I am just dreading the thought of having to pack everything up and move again though. It's a pain and it seems to take forever to get the new place feeling nice and homey, but if it'll save me money it might just be worth it.
I was rather hoping to have this situation worked out before school started up again, but oh well. One week left. Tomorrow I get to register for classes finally. I didn't do half bad last semester, despite feeling exhausted/drained/buried throughout the whole semester.
I am declaring myself a child development major, simply because the classes look interesting enough to be enjoyable and I already have a couple classes that help me fulfill the requirements. In all honesty I still don't have a clue what I want to do, but I need to head in some direction at this point. I don't know what I'd do with a degree in CHDV exactly, but for now it's a place to start. I am not particularly interested in being a preschool teacher, I would probably be okay with elementary, but the more appealing option would be to get a minor in bio or something as well and maybe take it in a more medical direction. Who knows? I clearly, still, have not figured it out, but I am hopefully getting closer.
At the very least it's something to tell all those curious people. Of course, I know well enough to know that just because I have an answer to one question doesn't mean that they won't continue to push and prod with more. It'll always be something, but that's okay...people just want to know. Sometimes I wish a little disclaimer would automatically go along with words I'm undeclared...something that tells people that just because a major has not been picked it does not make me a lazy or uninterested person. Oh well, as long as I remember to tell myself that I guess that's all that matters.
Tomorrow will be registering for classes, and then off to the dreaded paperwork. Just a few precious days left of time off. Monday and Tuesday will probably be spent working and getting semi-ready for school to start. I want to have dinner with my mom sometime this week. Visiting my grandma again would be nice, and so would seeing my dad. Of course I would also like to be spending time with Eric as well. This seems to be what I've been doing for all of break though, running around visiting everyone - a lot of driving around in circles. It'd also be really nice to just take this whole week to myself, getting ready for school, maybe getting ahead in some of the readings, and just enjoying time to myself and working on little projects here and there. I can't do it all...though I think I can sometimes.
So onto the randomness.
I went to an Indian restaurant called Kathmandu Kitchen with a friend sometime last week and it was so delightfully delicious that I made Sara and Eric go back with me today...Chicken Makhani mmmm so good. I even bought an Indian cookbook to try out some recipes.
Random word that has come up an awful lot today: cohort.
Amusing word from philosophy of religion class last semester: omniambivalence
When I was visiting my grandma last friday we had a really nice talk. I asked her about her past - living in Ireland, how grandpa and her met, etc. I found out a lot of stuff that I never knew! She had eight, yes 8, brothers and sisters all told. Her family had 2 farms - one 92 acres and the other 110. I tried asking her more about what they grew on their farms, but all I got was, of course, potatoes and flax. I told her how Eric had wanted to try growing some flax, and she went off on the whole process of what they did with it; growing, picking, soaking, drying, husking, and sending it off to the weavers. It was just a really neat, fun conversation. I like hearing about her life, and I am kind of interested in finding out more about my family history, considering I know very little about it.
You know what is a disturbing thought? The next generation of children, meaning my kids, are going to have a whole bunch of divorced Grandmas and Grandpas. How weird (and sad) is that to think about? I mean, obviously, I am quite accustomed to divorced parents, but my grandparents...all of them have been married forever. How strange it will be to take my kids over to all of their grandparent's houses and try to explain to them who is who and how they are all related.
I have a lot more randomness, but it is getting rather late, and I am getting rather tired!
I think too much!
Hopefully I'll actually be better about making consistent entries. It's kind of nice to look back and remember some of this stuff every once in awhile, and I just don't seem to do that as often in all the written journals I have.
Anyway, enough. Goodnight world.
Yikes! Sorry to all you crazy people who actually read the whole thing!
Basically that's what I've been trying to do this year so far, except for a few things in the first week, it's going relatively well.
I've been meaning to post on here for awhile, but as is obvious, have failed to do so. So I'm sure this journal entry will be a mix of randomness and seriousness aka rambling.
Last year was not a very happy year, but I am very determined to make this one a better one. I don't even have a good reason for last year being very bad...nothing particularly depressing or life changing occurred...it just was kind of an overall cloud of suckiness that seemed to eat me up.
BUT this year is better. Why? Because I say so, that's why.
So far nothing truly noteworthy has occurred, but I've been enjoying the little things in life, which in all reality is probably what I need to be focusing on. I get so busy and stressed out and just generally caught up in all the things I have to do that never seem to get done that it really takes a toll on me. So, as funny as this sounds, one of my goals this year is to waste more time. Well, maybe not so much waste more time, but take more time to myself and acknowledge that it's okay to be lazy and have relaxing days.
Still working at Yolano Vet. This is now, officially, the longest that I've kept a job (about a year and a half), which in all reality is because I don't have a good reason to leave. Sometimes I wish I could just quit, but in all reality it's a pretty decent job...for now anyway. The paperwork is horrendous! I don't mind doing the rather chaotic outdoor clinics even when it's freezing or insanely hot, but having to sit in front of a computer for hours doing tedious paperwork is not my idea of fun. As a matter of fact, I really dread the days that I have to spend doing it. It takes so freaking long too! *sigh* but it does pay the bills...
Speaking of bills...I forget to give myself credit where it is due sometimes. I definitely do not have money to spare by any means, and most of the time I consider myself a rather poor, struggling college student, but when I stop and look at what I am managing to do I have to say I'm not doing half bad.
Two or three times this week I have taken for granted that I am paying my own way through school (with the help of scholarships and grants of course), paying my own rent and phn and utility bills, and even most of my car insurance/bills. It has been set into my head that this is what I need to do, but I forget that a lot of other people are still having their parents pay for most everything. Good for them and their families; I'm glad that they are able to do that. However, I can't quite say that I envy them. I like having my freedom and independence. I like that I don't have to ask for money and feel guilty as a result of that. I feel like I'm under enough pressure as is without adding monetary guilt to the deal. So, yay me for managing to be a full time college student, working between 20-40 hours in a week, and being part of the Sac State Ballroom Dance Company. Funny that I still feel so inadequate at times...but I'm working on it.
So sticking with the whole money subject here...I am trying to actually be able to save some money this year. Probably impossible, but an endeavor I shall work at anyhow. I am hoping that we can get another roommate in our place because that would save us about $100 per month and we'd be helping someone out by offering practically everything they need as far as furniture and appliances go and we're very close to school. Meg may be moving in with us, but we haven't heard back from her in awhile so I don't really know. We are trying to get someone in here that we know mainly for comfort and sanity reasons. I guess if finding a roommate doesn't work out we can always look for a smaller place...I am just dreading the thought of having to pack everything up and move again though. It's a pain and it seems to take forever to get the new place feeling nice and homey, but if it'll save me money it might just be worth it.
I was rather hoping to have this situation worked out before school started up again, but oh well. One week left. Tomorrow I get to register for classes finally. I didn't do half bad last semester, despite feeling exhausted/drained/buried throughout the whole semester.
I am declaring myself a child development major, simply because the classes look interesting enough to be enjoyable and I already have a couple classes that help me fulfill the requirements. In all honesty I still don't have a clue what I want to do, but I need to head in some direction at this point. I don't know what I'd do with a degree in CHDV exactly, but for now it's a place to start. I am not particularly interested in being a preschool teacher, I would probably be okay with elementary, but the more appealing option would be to get a minor in bio or something as well and maybe take it in a more medical direction. Who knows? I clearly, still, have not figured it out, but I am hopefully getting closer.
At the very least it's something to tell all those curious people. Of course, I know well enough to know that just because I have an answer to one question doesn't mean that they won't continue to push and prod with more. It'll always be something, but that's okay...people just want to know. Sometimes I wish a little disclaimer would automatically go along with words I'm undeclared...something that tells people that just because a major has not been picked it does not make me a lazy or uninterested person. Oh well, as long as I remember to tell myself that I guess that's all that matters.
Tomorrow will be registering for classes, and then off to the dreaded paperwork. Just a few precious days left of time off. Monday and Tuesday will probably be spent working and getting semi-ready for school to start. I want to have dinner with my mom sometime this week. Visiting my grandma again would be nice, and so would seeing my dad. Of course I would also like to be spending time with Eric as well. This seems to be what I've been doing for all of break though, running around visiting everyone - a lot of driving around in circles. It'd also be really nice to just take this whole week to myself, getting ready for school, maybe getting ahead in some of the readings, and just enjoying time to myself and working on little projects here and there. I can't do it all...though I think I can sometimes.
So onto the randomness.
I went to an Indian restaurant called Kathmandu Kitchen with a friend sometime last week and it was so delightfully delicious that I made Sara and Eric go back with me today...Chicken Makhani mmmm so good. I even bought an Indian cookbook to try out some recipes.
Random word that has come up an awful lot today: cohort.
Amusing word from philosophy of religion class last semester: omniambivalence
When I was visiting my grandma last friday we had a really nice talk. I asked her about her past - living in Ireland, how grandpa and her met, etc. I found out a lot of stuff that I never knew! She had eight, yes 8, brothers and sisters all told. Her family had 2 farms - one 92 acres and the other 110. I tried asking her more about what they grew on their farms, but all I got was, of course, potatoes and flax. I told her how Eric had wanted to try growing some flax, and she went off on the whole process of what they did with it; growing, picking, soaking, drying, husking, and sending it off to the weavers. It was just a really neat, fun conversation. I like hearing about her life, and I am kind of interested in finding out more about my family history, considering I know very little about it.
You know what is a disturbing thought? The next generation of children, meaning my kids, are going to have a whole bunch of divorced Grandmas and Grandpas. How weird (and sad) is that to think about? I mean, obviously, I am quite accustomed to divorced parents, but my grandparents...all of them have been married forever. How strange it will be to take my kids over to all of their grandparent's houses and try to explain to them who is who and how they are all related.
I have a lot more randomness, but it is getting rather late, and I am getting rather tired!
I think too much!
Hopefully I'll actually be better about making consistent entries. It's kind of nice to look back and remember some of this stuff every once in awhile, and I just don't seem to do that as often in all the written journals I have.
Anyway, enough. Goodnight world.
Yikes! Sorry to all you crazy people who actually read the whole thing!