Hunger hurts - starving works!
It's been a week since my last update. Whole week filled with failures and completed with cracks. I haven't been counting kcals, since I know it's too much. Way too much! I have gained back those 2 kg's, so it has gone to waste. It is always like that; I'm on a diet for one week, then I start eating everything that comes to my eyes, feel sick, that goes on for a week and after that I am back where I started. I have to get myself back into shape...
I kind of argued with my boyfriend yesterday. I started talking about this wheel where I am in. He told me that he was in so great pain of head that he couldn't stand to hear it anymore. I told him to go bed. Ok, I used nasty words, but when he said "See you tomorrow" I answered plainly "Maybe". He got angry - and he had a reason - and said "Well, fuck you - let's not". And right after that he left. I felt kinda sad. I got out from pc as fast as I could, and went to my room. I felt like crying, but there was no tears. So, I just went to the bed, but could not sleep.
In the middle of night, he sends me a text message. "I'm sorry, Nana... I don't want my flower to wither. Let me take you with me to warm, safe from snowstorms. So sorry... Can't understand what got into me." I didn't answer. Do you think I should have? I was out of words.
On the morning, he sends me two messages more. "Morning, hun. How're you feeling? You're not mad at me anymore? I have to aplogize once again, for leaving in a way like that..." And "Honey, I'm sorry... I'm regretting what I did. Don't be mad at me ;_;" I had to answer. Do you think I shouldn't have? I told him that I'm not angry at him, and I'm feeling darkly determined, because if this is a wheel, I don't want to get out from it. He sent me back; "Can I get in to the wheel with you, if you're not going to get out from it? I just wanna be with you..."
I really don't think he got what I ment with wheel, but I answered, that I am not willing to stop him.
I'm trying to start all over, and skip the part where I eat practically everything I see. When I recognize that part starting, I'm trying to eat as much fruits and everything that won't make me so fat. Does anyone know any food which would give a fasting kick to metabolism?
Sorry about the mistakes in the text. I guess I'm still so confused.
I kind of argued with my boyfriend yesterday. I started talking about this wheel where I am in. He told me that he was in so great pain of head that he couldn't stand to hear it anymore. I told him to go bed. Ok, I used nasty words, but when he said "See you tomorrow" I answered plainly "Maybe". He got angry - and he had a reason - and said "Well, fuck you - let's not". And right after that he left. I felt kinda sad. I got out from pc as fast as I could, and went to my room. I felt like crying, but there was no tears. So, I just went to the bed, but could not sleep.
In the middle of night, he sends me a text message. "I'm sorry, Nana... I don't want my flower to wither. Let me take you with me to warm, safe from snowstorms. So sorry... Can't understand what got into me." I didn't answer. Do you think I should have? I was out of words.
On the morning, he sends me two messages more. "Morning, hun. How're you feeling? You're not mad at me anymore? I have to aplogize once again, for leaving in a way like that..." And "Honey, I'm sorry... I'm regretting what I did. Don't be mad at me ;_;" I had to answer. Do you think I shouldn't have? I told him that I'm not angry at him, and I'm feeling darkly determined, because if this is a wheel, I don't want to get out from it. He sent me back; "Can I get in to the wheel with you, if you're not going to get out from it? I just wanna be with you..."
I really don't think he got what I ment with wheel, but I answered, that I am not willing to stop him.
I'm trying to start all over, and skip the part where I eat practically everything I see. When I recognize that part starting, I'm trying to eat as much fruits and everything that won't make me so fat. Does anyone know any food which would give a fasting kick to metabolism?
Sorry about the mistakes in the text. I guess I'm still so confused.