A sorrowful pleasure
Wow, I really don't post to this thing much, do I? I certainly don't have many friends on it, which seems to mirror what status in life, but hey, I kinda like that, only having those few close, good friends. But alas, most of the people that have friended me on LJ will drift away as soon as they go off to college, hopefully with the exception of one very special young women that I care very much for.
On another note, I've come to realize something lately. That being I do so much to try and make everyone else happy, but while doing this, I have a tendency to not let them do anything back for me, and although this might not seem like a big deal to most people, some people actually feel worse off if you don't let them do something for you in return, but I've been blind to this for so long... I really should have seen it sooner, since I'm the same way, in that I always want to do something in return for those who do anything for me.
Another thing I've come to find, is that I've let everything fall away from me. My family, my friends, my love... This pains me the most, thinking that those most precious to me, especially my one true love, have been being essentially pushed away by me. I don't mean to do this, I would love to reverse everything and bring them all close again... But, things just always fall apart, something goes wrong, I say something stupid, I forget something big, I don't go to an event... Everything goes from bad to worse, and I simply feel like I'm letting everyone down, and try harder, only to have everyone driven further away from me.
So this is what I will do, as sort of a celebration of our nation's birthday, from this day forward, I am going to change my ways, stop slacking when I should be trying harder, spending time with those I love even if our plans fall through, and doing anything and everything I can to make people around me happy. This is my promise to all those I love, even though only one of them might read this, I hope that my words finally turn into action and I'm able to change for the better.
"Discontent is the first step in to progress of a man or of a nation"
Megan, my lovely angel <3 I love you!
On another note, I've come to realize something lately. That being I do so much to try and make everyone else happy, but while doing this, I have a tendency to not let them do anything back for me, and although this might not seem like a big deal to most people, some people actually feel worse off if you don't let them do something for you in return, but I've been blind to this for so long... I really should have seen it sooner, since I'm the same way, in that I always want to do something in return for those who do anything for me.
Another thing I've come to find, is that I've let everything fall away from me. My family, my friends, my love... This pains me the most, thinking that those most precious to me, especially my one true love, have been being essentially pushed away by me. I don't mean to do this, I would love to reverse everything and bring them all close again... But, things just always fall apart, something goes wrong, I say something stupid, I forget something big, I don't go to an event... Everything goes from bad to worse, and I simply feel like I'm letting everyone down, and try harder, only to have everyone driven further away from me.
So this is what I will do, as sort of a celebration of our nation's birthday, from this day forward, I am going to change my ways, stop slacking when I should be trying harder, spending time with those I love even if our plans fall through, and doing anything and everything I can to make people around me happy. This is my promise to all those I love, even though only one of them might read this, I hope that my words finally turn into action and I'm able to change for the better.
"Discontent is the first step in to progress of a man or of a nation"
Megan, my lovely angel <3 I love you!