RETRO
I deleted almost all the contents that this journal ever held. In a strange way I let go of the past. Going through the entries I was to delete, I briefly skimmed through them and a peculiar feeling of nostalgia overcame me. The entries were as old as 2005 - not a time span that you would classify as the distant past or anything cinematically ( Read more... )
Sorry! My bad! Hutchison is the right "H" name; Henshaw was the cool computer graffix teacher who got the hell out of Northview at the end of grade 10. Not to be mistaken! You are right.. it was the VP; was it that tall guy?
But still, MARIO 3 = EPIC.
That's the coolest thing I ever experienced at Northview - that and the Cyber "cafe" CS tourney thing those CISCO kids set up. You kids rocked.
RE: "'Course, I never did anything to make it obvious...which is still a problem I struggle with to this day :P" -- I think one of these days you should just spit it out, go on and say it! What do you have to lose? If anything it might work out to your benefit! ^___^ No reason to remain single in 2009, think optimistically! *hugs*
Those greedy MOFOS will still be on strike in January --- first couple of weeks for sure to negotiate.. I don't think that negotiation will be likely however, so expect me to make up on that lunch first thing =p
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I switched Livejournals (n3xus__ to art3m15) to deal with those entries at first; I didn't want to delete them until I felt absolutely certain i didn't care about the past anymore. You're right, at first the closure thing works and then everything does go back to the old. In my case it was about a good year, year and a half before I just stopped caring. And that is the real closure part, when you get over it, do the complete 180 (for some particular things) and just let go. I am absolutely positive you can do it too!
i HATE xmas.
The only gift i could have possibly wanted is to not stay at home. I am being forced to have continuous headaches and stress attacks as a stay-at-home daughter; i have forgotten how much my father nags and bitches about EVERYTHING in the universe! LMAO (i'm so happy I am working 3 days in a row)bahaha
I hope you got lots of gifts though, i only got xmas money from work and my uncle and his new wife ... <-- new aunt i guess technically =p
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The thing about just spitting it out is that I imagine I have much more to lose than I think I do ( Does that even make sense? lol). I tend to be attracted to people I already know, already have a friendship with. Or, as was the case over the last couple days - the family I was staying with, their neighbours came over christmas afternoon. One of their kids is in my venturer company (scouts, but older) but I had met his sister for the first time. It was a family gathering thing...completely inappropriate to say anything. Plus she's going to school in Kingston and blah, blah, blah.
I just...I dunno. I wait for the right timing, only to find out that the right timing was the first chance I had. I don't really pounce on things very well :P You're right though - It is something I should just -do- and stop waiting.
I'm hoping I can just forget about it all. But it's so difficult when I have nobody but myself and nothing but my own thoughts most of the time. Kind of a circle. Can't get over it without somebody new...can't get somebody new 'till I feel I'm over it. Damn. :P
I'm rather indifferent about christmas...idunno...my family never really, really made a big deal about it. I'm sad to hear that you're not enjoying it at your house :( My couch is your couch if you ever really need to get away from it all, yea? It may be a bit far for you to get to work though :P hahaha
When are you working? Maybe I'll come visit and you can sandwich me again lol
From my adopted family I got some camp dishes, which is something I really needed. I'm happy for that. My parents got me an xbox360 :$ I'm happy about that but feel like I don't deserve it or something. I feel unworthy. lol XD
You're right though - I don't want to spend 2009 single. I spent 2008 single. I've made it 13 months without so much as a kiss and I think I'll die if I go much longer x_x; (being dramatic - I should survive but I'm just...getting frustrated with myself. It's one of those things where I see other people, and they do it so easily -shifting in and out of relationships - and yet I have so much trouble with it.)
I know I'm not them - I just...Wish I could take a piece of them and integrate it into me :P Why aren't we computers? haha
Oh well. I'm working all next week 'cept for new years. You wanna do something? Get a group of people and go out drinking? Should be fun. More fun than sitting at home!
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OOOh Xbox! they had really good sales for Xbox games! (if you need anymore, if I remember reading right, you had you hands full with several already Xp)Why don't you feel like you deserve it? You're their son, and an independent and hard working one at that - I think that they would feel the opposite =)
You're right, you're not them. You are you. An individual. You are better at them in some things and worse than them at others. this is what makes us unique and different ^___^ Once you find your groove, I think you'll manage to shift in and out of relationships just like them. Change your mindset. Or rather modify it a bit, like you would modify a computer or machine so that it works better - you WILL manage just fine! =)
As I said holidays are death.
New Years = SUPER UBER FAMiLY THING ONLY. lol
I will be drinking. At home, so things should be mildly entertaining at some point in that evening .. HAHA
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For the xbox I really only have call of duty and the games that came with it (lego indiana jones and kung-fu panda) Today my sister picked up Halo3 and Orange Box for me cuz they're on for cheap. I'm so happy ^_^
I only say I feel like I don't deserve it because I feel like I've never done anything to deserve it. I feel like I don't put anything in, so I don't understand why I'm getting something out. It just doesn't make sense to me :P
I'm sure I'll find somebody some day...I just...gotta find that groove and get out of my current groove of being dumb.
Oh, and you can bet I'll visit you sometime soon :D
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I kinda wanna play lego indiana jones and kung-fu panda now. *raids your living space ^____^
YAY! FOR! TYLER! VISiTS! XD
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