(no subject)
on nights like tonight, when I'm plagued by this restless sleeplessness, i realize things about myself. i realized that if my attention is not devoted to one thing or another, i experience an almost crippling sense of nostalgia. the smallest things can trigger it; the first drag of a cigarette on a cold day and I'm back in fryeburg maine, a good cup of coffee and I'm in the mad monkey, joking with tuan and dan. sometimes, i just want those feelings to go away. they make me sad, and on a day like today, i just don't want to deal with it.