hey whataya know im not dead after all.
Thats right.. i am actually alive.. i just havent been bothered enough to write on here. Infact alot of things are bothering me lately but i just didnt have the effort to sign in and waste time typing everything out like i am now bc why not. Where to begin. i supose it should start with a warning that this is about feeling sorry for myself. im very good at that as i get alot of practise from all the shit that happens to me :)
Part one.. How my life sucks in the relationship area.........still..
The thing with maria? yes funny i should bring that up.. its all fucking confusing. For some reason i have become the object of her hatered i think by now. She ignores me at every opurtunity and will only address a converstaion if there is someone else other then me in the room at the time. She will not smile at me anymore at even a passing glance. she will not even think of me as being part of the group or as even a person that exsists anymore.. I hear you say " what on earth did you do? you must of done something very wrong to her?"... afraid not actually.. i happened to express my feelings for her by giving her a christmas gift to show i liked her.. only to have this confusion between us and awkwardness. supose thats my fault??? and even though ive heard from her friends that she still want to be friends with me.. i find this hard to believe when i make the effort to talk to her to get bk to being good friends and she ignores me.
Moving on.. to Laura... now things are tricky here.. she has been VERY confusing to me lately.. i dont know where i stand with her.. even as a friend.. it sometimes doesnt seem like she even rememberes me as a friend and other times she will want me there when she has a problem. i dont see her as someone who uses ppl as i know her pretty well and she doesnt seem the type. She raley replies to my txts and when she does they are very breif.. i hardly get a single txt from her without it being a reply to something ive said. which ok is nothing big but it would be nice to know i exsist to her seeing as we are supose to be good friends. I dont know whether she will be able to go with me to the cinema on saturday as i asked her bc she has work but i hope she can as i havent seen her in a long time and id like to start spending more time with her.. even if it is only going to remain as friends.
Chapter two comes later when i have energy