Fic: Beauty I'd Always Missed 1/1
Beauty I'd Always Missed
Word Count: 517
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I can't own anything. The pygmies and debt collectors own me.
Summary: The picture says a lot about what was and what is.
Pairing: Don/Megan
Author's Note: Like all in this series, title is off a lyric from "Nights in White Satin" by the Moody Blues. This follows Never Meaning to Say, Thoughts They Cannot Defend, Letters I've Written, Reaching the End, Just What I'm Going Through (They Can't Understand), and Never Meaning to Send.
Beauty I'd Always Missed
He tried to pretend he didn't spend hours looking at the picture. He didn't sit at home, drinking a few more beers than usual, didn't stare at it. That wasn't what he did. He went out with his family, did things with his friends. He watched the games. There was always some game going, and the tv was always on. He never remembered specific plays, but that didn't matter.
He functioned.
He snorted. Yeah, that was a lie. He didn't do a very good job of that these days. He remembered telling Charlie that he was fine when it was all going down, but when it was over, when the case was done and he was left with the stuff in his head, that was when he broke down. He felt like that now. Work kept him busy, kept him going. At night, though, it was back to this.
When he'd told his brother about the way it worked, after the shooting at his office, Charlie had given him spaghetti. Don broke an entire box of noodles the night that Megan left, but it didn't help all that much. The alcohol didn't, either. It barely took the edge off. He was still seeing Bradford, but he didn't talk about his relationship with Megan there.
Relationship.
That gave it a different light than what it had really been. Sure, it was all a matter of definition. Everyone had different ways of defining these things. In this case, though, he couldn't really call it a relationship. He didn't deny that he felt things for her, felt them more deeply than he probably should have, and she'd felt the same, he was pretty damn sure about that. The thing was, relationships were out in the open. They were known by family and friends. They were usually supported by those same family and friends.
What he'd done with Megan was still a secret. Maybe it was time it all came out. Maybe that would be cleansing. Maybe it would be the punishment he deserved. He didn't know anymore. He wasn't sure he cared. His dad and Charlie could hate him for stealing Larry's girl, and they'd be right. Don certainly hated himself enough for that.
Megan was her own woman. She'd made her own choices. It didn't make the choice of betraying Larry right, though. It wasn't just about two consenting adults. It was more complicated than that, affected more than just them.
He finished off his beer and looked at the picture again. Don wasn't the greatest at relationships, but he knew that if they'd had a normal one, then he wouldn't be looking at a team picture right now. He'd have one of the two of them, like the one he'd found at Nikki's place or the ones he still had of him and Kim. He didn't have any like that of him and Megan, only the one with the team. She wasn't even looking at him. Her face was half-turned away from the camera, and this was the best one he had.
Damn it, he still missed her.