Nov 20, 2007 19:52
Every relationship varies and it is important that every couple understands that taking time apart is not a substitute for fixing or solving problems, because if you part when you are having problems, they will be waiting for you when you meet again- so it is essential that you talk about your issues first before you decide a break is needed and best for the relationship. Many get scared and paranoid when their partner asks for some time alone, because they fear that their partner may not love them anymore or will not come back. Though it is always possible for your partner to change their mind during the break and decide not to continue with the relationship, there is no need to fear taking the break, because the two of you would eventually broken up anyway, because your partner was probably already thinking of doing so before- so it is inevitable.
Many times, one or both people in a relationship will lose themselves in some way or form and will begin to feel stress and resentment in the relationship, even though it may not be about a partner personally. In every relationship, couples will compromise their differences to keep things healthy and happy - and in making these compromising and changes, you both have to let go of a part of yourselves in order to compromise your differences. Sometimes this happens so often, that one or both of you will feel like you have completely lost yourselves and will feel stressed and resentment against each other, even though it has nothing to do with a partner personally. Relationships can get so deep- and you both can connect as “one” so intensely that you neglect yourselves as individuals, and in order to re-discover yourselves, there will need to be some time apart from each other.
Remember, you need to be whole as an individual first in order to be whole together as a couple, and time apart is best if one or both of you feel like you need to get back in touch with your individuality. Some couples get so excited when they enter a relationship, that everything moves so fast, which can get stressful, pressuring and scary, in which a break is then a good idea as well. Taking time apart can help a relationship build a better bond because you will both replenish yourselves during that break and will then be able to give the relationship the efforts and attention it needs to keep healthy. If you are afraid that you will lose the relationship if you take a break, then just remember that you would have broken up later anyway- not because of the break, but because you grew apart, had irreparable issues or maybe your partner just wanted to move on.
So do not fear what is not in your control. Just stay calm and see what good a break can do for both of you and your relationship. Besides, you both owe it to yourselves to get back in touch with your individualities and learn more new things about yourself, so that you will be able to teach your partner more about you- and the more you know about each other, the more you will understand your differences and will be able to build the connection that works best for the both of you.
See I hit a really bad low already...I guess I just have to keep reading that.