Show me you really need me
So I've had a lot on my mind lately. I've been having the stupidest fights with randy over nothing and everything. I feel like he yells at me a lot more and honestly its scary to have someone you care about yelling in your face. Think about it..
Their face gets all distorted, their voices get louder, the forehead creases and the body language itself with the jerking and hand gestures... it just makes me feel stupid. Honestly I cant do anything right. I cant say the right things, I cant do anything he tells me to do... I'm inept.
Him disappearing for long periods of time has made me fall in to a state of depression. I just dont want to feel anything so I barracade myself inside. I'm more lonely than I've felt in years. Its wrong to compare out relationship to others since each is unique in their own ways.. but I miss spending quality time together or just going out on dates. (even though I dont have a car I know that makes things a lot harder) I miss being able to talk to him about my day and saying "Hey guess what so and so did... or man this lady what was she wearing?" Its like he's blacked out on certain things that happens day to day so when I am talking about one thing he has no idea what has happened....
*sigh sigh sigh*
Their face gets all distorted, their voices get louder, the forehead creases and the body language itself with the jerking and hand gestures... it just makes me feel stupid. Honestly I cant do anything right. I cant say the right things, I cant do anything he tells me to do... I'm inept.
Him disappearing for long periods of time has made me fall in to a state of depression. I just dont want to feel anything so I barracade myself inside. I'm more lonely than I've felt in years. Its wrong to compare out relationship to others since each is unique in their own ways.. but I miss spending quality time together or just going out on dates. (even though I dont have a car I know that makes things a lot harder) I miss being able to talk to him about my day and saying "Hey guess what so and so did... or man this lady what was she wearing?" Its like he's blacked out on certain things that happens day to day so when I am talking about one thing he has no idea what has happened....
*sigh sigh sigh*