i dont know how much longer i can stand this!!!
my brother is my whole world, he is everything to me. i think being away from him is what keeps me soo down and depressed about everything. actually i know. i hardly ever get to see him. last time i saw him was christmas! my grandparents that i live with hate my grandparents that he lives with so they wont bring me up to his house, so i have to find my own ride there and back. he lives three hours away in victor ville so its really hard. anyways i have been planningto go up there friday after school gets out till the 19th for a month. my family here gets invited somewhere today! and want me to come home early so i dont screw up their plans!!!!! they have the nerve to ask "whats a day or two?" well when i never see him and im only there for a week its everything! i should ask my dad when he was in prison what was the few hours that i visited him. and he would say everything. becuz we never go to see eachother. my family doesnt give ashit that being a part from my brother is killing me inside and they have the fucking nerve to try to make me shorten my already short time up there for their own fucking plans!!!! and they say i am self centered! i think about others more than myself how the hell am i self centered im not the one asking someone to change their plans they went thru alot of trouble to plan so my plans i made today just so i can go andhave the people i want there i dont care if they want to be there or not. i dont know how much longer i can stand them... i need a new start. everything is crashing down at my feet.