Sigh.
Today was rough. Just a little rough, I've had rougher.
New boy broke it off less than a week ago. I'm aiming for a goal of getting over it in a month, but there's no way to time things like this (as I found out with my previous boyfriend). However, I think I have a better chance of getting over it sooner since we're still close friends.
But I don't know if being close friends is such a good idea at this point.
It kind of hurts to be near him. It hurts to see him laugh at some joke someone made. It hurts to see him being happy when I am trying as hard as I can to be, and it's just too much right now.
I shouldn't have to try to be happy, and I'm so mad because he doesn't have to try at all right now. He's just.. it's like this didn't affect him at all. And it affected me a lot, because somewhere along the line, I started to have some deeper feelings for him.
He doesn't understand, because he never had those feelings for me... WHICH ALSO PISSES ME OFF... couldn't he have ended this so much sooner, if he knew that all along?
God, I've got so much on my mind, and I'm trying to focus on other things, but this is wrapping up my thoughts. For as long as it wants to.
And I can't control that, and I can't control when I'm happy and over this.
But I'm trying to. I'm trying to do what it takes to be happier.
It's all I can do.
New boy broke it off less than a week ago. I'm aiming for a goal of getting over it in a month, but there's no way to time things like this (as I found out with my previous boyfriend). However, I think I have a better chance of getting over it sooner since we're still close friends.
But I don't know if being close friends is such a good idea at this point.
It kind of hurts to be near him. It hurts to see him laugh at some joke someone made. It hurts to see him being happy when I am trying as hard as I can to be, and it's just too much right now.
I shouldn't have to try to be happy, and I'm so mad because he doesn't have to try at all right now. He's just.. it's like this didn't affect him at all. And it affected me a lot, because somewhere along the line, I started to have some deeper feelings for him.
He doesn't understand, because he never had those feelings for me... WHICH ALSO PISSES ME OFF... couldn't he have ended this so much sooner, if he knew that all along?
God, I've got so much on my mind, and I'm trying to focus on other things, but this is wrapping up my thoughts. For as long as it wants to.
And I can't control that, and I can't control when I'm happy and over this.
But I'm trying to. I'm trying to do what it takes to be happier.
It's all I can do.