(no subject)
Something's wrong with me. I haven't been feeling myself lately. I'm not hyper, happy, or anything. It's like all feeling has left me and I'm just a shell, looking out in the world, left to overanalyze every little detail. I mean, I have absolutlely no spark or something in me. I'm normally up and about, running around, yelling at the top of my lungs or doing things to embarrass my friends x). But I've felt so quiet and blue the past week or so and I really have no idea WHY i feel like this. There shouldn't really be a reason to why I feel like this. I haven't really changed anything in my life.... oh wellz.
I need a job so badly but I can't get one. I want a job x(. This is unfair, I'm never gonna be hired. My damn ugliness will prevent me from ever getting a job because we live in such a shallow and screwed up society. I'm tired of going to my dad and asking him for money, its pointless. He gives me money, and then at night he finds a reason to bitch at me. So in return of using his money, he finds something wrong with me and criticizes me about it. It's no wonder I have such a low self-esteem. I'm such a hypocrite. I tell people to do things, and I do it myself. I should just not talk anymore. I should like just tape my mouth shut and just be what women were in the old days. Just nod along and agree what the men say -_-'. If only I could've gotten that baby sitting job in monterey park. I would've been loaded. argh x(. I'm too young for anyone else to hire me, but what can I do?! No one wants to hire me, I've been looking for a job for like almost a month already. Mrs. Shinohara probably knows my name by now considering I walk into the career center three times a week. I cant get the summer job because I want to goto summer school, which is why I'm trying to find a job now, so then I can continue it throughout the summer. *sighs* I wanna try for Parks and Rec, but I'm only 15 and the only thing I can teach is probably basketball. I have no idea how to do cheer/drill. I can teach volleyball, I've watched enough volleyball drills to know what to do. I think that's all right? yea. Basketball, Volleyball, and Cheer/Drill. I'm so screwed. *sighs*
Orientation is coming up. LoL. thankfully, we wont be doing anything there. It'll make us look bad, but mysterious too. lol. Hopefully people will come to the Acquaitances. I hope. We have an Ice Cream Social, Tea Party, and Jodi Maroni's Night/Business Mtg. I really want club to do well, and I'm trying my best to bring it up. Setting up fundraisers and everything. But we need to start fining those who don't show up to club things. We'd seriously be rich by now if we fined everyone. Ok, whatever. I'm feeling weird. I'll update tomorrow or something. *sighs* another day where my day has passed pretty fast. My life as a teenager is being wasted away right before my eyes. Not like being a teenager is that great anyway, but then who knows, maybe when I'm 38 and look back on the years I'll realize just how "great" my teenage life really was. *snorts* or MAYBE i'll realize how horrible my life really is and end it before I even reach the age of 38. (dont worry, I dont think I will lol) I'm seriously so pessimistic. *sighs*
I need a job so badly but I can't get one. I want a job x(. This is unfair, I'm never gonna be hired. My damn ugliness will prevent me from ever getting a job because we live in such a shallow and screwed up society. I'm tired of going to my dad and asking him for money, its pointless. He gives me money, and then at night he finds a reason to bitch at me. So in return of using his money, he finds something wrong with me and criticizes me about it. It's no wonder I have such a low self-esteem. I'm such a hypocrite. I tell people to do things, and I do it myself. I should just not talk anymore. I should like just tape my mouth shut and just be what women were in the old days. Just nod along and agree what the men say -_-'. If only I could've gotten that baby sitting job in monterey park. I would've been loaded. argh x(. I'm too young for anyone else to hire me, but what can I do?! No one wants to hire me, I've been looking for a job for like almost a month already. Mrs. Shinohara probably knows my name by now considering I walk into the career center three times a week. I cant get the summer job because I want to goto summer school, which is why I'm trying to find a job now, so then I can continue it throughout the summer. *sighs* I wanna try for Parks and Rec, but I'm only 15 and the only thing I can teach is probably basketball. I have no idea how to do cheer/drill. I can teach volleyball, I've watched enough volleyball drills to know what to do. I think that's all right? yea. Basketball, Volleyball, and Cheer/Drill. I'm so screwed. *sighs*
Orientation is coming up. LoL. thankfully, we wont be doing anything there. It'll make us look bad, but mysterious too. lol. Hopefully people will come to the Acquaitances. I hope. We have an Ice Cream Social, Tea Party, and Jodi Maroni's Night/Business Mtg. I really want club to do well, and I'm trying my best to bring it up. Setting up fundraisers and everything. But we need to start fining those who don't show up to club things. We'd seriously be rich by now if we fined everyone. Ok, whatever. I'm feeling weird. I'll update tomorrow or something. *sighs* another day where my day has passed pretty fast. My life as a teenager is being wasted away right before my eyes. Not like being a teenager is that great anyway, but then who knows, maybe when I'm 38 and look back on the years I'll realize just how "great" my teenage life really was. *snorts* or MAYBE i'll realize how horrible my life really is and end it before I even reach the age of 38. (dont worry, I dont think I will lol) I'm seriously so pessimistic. *sighs*