(no subject)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEVIN!
woke up real late today.. walked over to lams.. and dad wouldnt let me stay over late so lam came to my place.. and we just walked in san marino.. talked about life and such -_-' lol. stopped by ralphs and bought some food for us to make.. italian shells something.. we made the food.. watched chinese soap opera.. and yea. it was nice.
wasnt so lonely haha. i was prepared for another lonely and depressing christmas.. i mean i've always looked forward to christmas.. i think its the greatest time of the year.. but every christmas i look back on the bad things that has occurred and well thats not good for me lol. thanks for kickign it with me lam.
looking forward to tomorrow with Sam.
i know i havent been myself lately.. and I'm sorry. I've said this before.. but with everything thats happened.. its gonna take awhile for me to be myself again.. and I don't even know who myself is anymore. I have been nothing but selfish and I apologize. You guys deserve a much better friend than that.. but being the kind people you guys are.. you still stuck by me and I'm glad you did.
imma count my blessings right now.... considerin ive been nothing but a depressing pile of shit.
- i'm so thankful i got my dad... i mean in a way i benefited from what happened.. cuz well I tolerate and listen to what he says to me now.. instead of yelling back at him.. thinking back at it, i'm such a spoiled brat to him.. so yea.. he's sacrificed so much for me to raise me and just for me to be happy. he searched for a house for a month just so i can be close to the school and get there on time. he may not be easy to talk to, but his actions are enough to show how much he cares.
- Sam
you're the greatest person ever and i just hope you are happy.
That's all I ever want for you, to be happy, you've been there for me countless amount of times and expected nothing back from me. you're such a generous person and i love you so much
I'm so glad I got the chance to get to know you.
If anyone messes with you, you tell me and I'll mess them right back. You're such a kind person, *sometimes too kind :-p* and u're just great to hang out with. - Lam, Le, & Minh you guys are just as great too. Thanks for everything you guys have done for me.. for listening to me and for helping me out when I needed it. You guys are great and hope that one day i can repay all of you guys that have been there for me. I know that no matter what happens, you guys will stay my friends and fix whatever happens between us and i'm thankful that you guys are so understanding and caring. Before my dad, you guys were one of the few people I could rely on and trust, through everything that has happened I'm thankful that I have been given the special priviledge of getting to know you.
- I wanna thank all of my friends.. (**abc order** Amy C, Amy L., Deanna, Eric, Harriet, Hoang, James, Jennifer, Ken, Kevin, Raina, Victoria, Vivian) you guys have been there for me through tough times and i'm sorry if i dont show my appreciation but I am thankful for everything you guys have done.. i may not be as close with you guys, but i love you guys just the same and i'm so glad i have you guys to hang with. Just know if you're ever in a tough spot, I'm always here for you to talk to.. and I hope that some that I have drifted apart will find it in their heart.. to try and reconcile on whatever wrong I did.. cuz theres nothign more that I cherish then all of your friendships.
just becuz people dont show their appreciation by giving material things.. doesn't mean they dont appreciate you. Sometimes I wish that just being a friend would be good enough, but I suppose its only human to want something in return. I've done wrong.. and I've come to the conclusion to do whatever I have to do to make right. I dont want to be that type of person.. and I'll prove that I'm not. I've done nothing but complain and put myself in depression for what happened.. but that doesn't help anyone. It only made the ones who cared about me worry and that's the last thing I want to happen. So dont worry anymore *Sam* I'm better now.. I know it's not a solution anymore. you probably wont like it.. but I did wrong.. and I gotta fix it. so yea.. i'm probably being stupid for doing this.. but you know what.. i aint gonna throw friendships away like that. *sighs* i'm tired of feeling pathetic and stupid. its time for me to take some initative..