Simspiration - "Anything you can do, I can do better..."
So, I've been having this problem with my chapter pacing; I want to get the rest of the generation born, but I don't want to sell the older members short. As such, this simspiration-inspired drabble (primarily featuring Elliot, Brawly, Hideki, Huey and a bit of Dwayne) wound up almost 2800 words long. It's a little bit ahead of where we are, but barely.
Elliot looked down at his test result irritably before glancing over Brawly’s shoulder, “What did you get?”
“Better than you,” he replied with a small smirk. Elliot rolled his eyes with a huff.
“I’m sure there are plenty of people who could say the same,” came haughtily from across the aisle between the desks.
“I wasn’t talking to you, Tang,” Elliot muttered between gritted teeth. He had yet to break his promise to his grandfather about not fighting, but Hideki made it really, really difficult. And they did have to be in the same classes.
“Did you even manage to make it into double-digits?” Hideki leered patronisingly.
“You know what? This,” Elliot waved the test paper (with the marked side hidden), “is bullshit. I am never going to need trigonometry ever in my life; I’m good at everything that actually matters. If I actually gave a damn about this, I would be better at it than you, Tang.”
“Now that is ‘bullshit’. You couldn’t beat me at any single thing if you tried.”
“I could beat you at everything if I tried!”
“Fine. I greatly look forward to watching you fail.”
“Does that mean you’re going to try kickboxing then?” Elliot challenged, a glint in his eye.
“… Sure.”
Elliot turned back to Brawly. “Now that I look forward to,” he murmured deviously.
~~~~~
“Right, what have we got coming up?” Elliot suddenly sat down eagerly between his unsuspecting best friends at lunch, a school diary in his hands.
“Have you ever used a homework planner in your life?” Huey asked with amused curiosity.
“There’s a first time for everything,” he shrugged, “and I need to know what’s going on so I can kick his smug ass.”
“His…?”
“Hideki and Elliot are having some kind of contest to figure out who’s better at everything,” Brawly explained with a less-than-confident look.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“You think I can’t beat him?” Elliot raised a dangerous eyebrow at him, and glanced at Brawly too.
“It’s not that so much as I don’t think you should be… trying to get into a fight with him. I don’t get why you two won’t just leave each other alone if you hate each other so much,” Huey shook his head, hair falling in his eyes.
“Because he’s a dick and he deserves to have that smug smirk wiped off his species-ist face!”
“Yeah, if you win, but he’s not just going to bow to your majesty or whatever if you do, or vice versa if he wins - it’ll only make it worse. And if you draw or something you’ll just keep it going!”
“Are you going to help me or not?”
Huey and Brawly looked at each other across the lunchroom table. “Fiiine, but you know Grandpa Juan’s going to hear about this.”
“You two are both such kiss-asses,” he rolled his eyes. “Anyway, it isn’t fighting; there’s a writing contest, and a cookery contest, and all sorts…”
“Kick-boxing is fighting,” Brawly pointed out.
“That’s sport. Totally allowed.”
“I think that malicious look on your face should mean that it isn’t,” Huey sighed.
~~~~~
“Mum! Dad! Teach me how to cook.” Elliot demanded as soon as he arrived home.
“You’ve never shown any interest in it before…” Lyle blinked.
“There’s a cookery contest.”
“Oh. Okay…?”
“I have to cook the best stuff there. And not grilled cheese.”
“Is that a rule?”
“It’s my rule Dad. Oh, hey: what’s that one you set on fire…?!”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Elliot.”
“It’s a matter of life and death, Dad!”
“Elliot, people have considered your mother and I obsessive about grilled cheese, and even we don’t think cookery contests are a matter of life and death. What’s going on?”
“… Fine! I’ll go look up how to do it on the internet instead, since you apparently don’t care!”
“Oh, alright, alright… It’s called a Baked Alaska, and what you need for it is…”
~~~~~
“Granddad!” Hideki called out as he slammed the front door behind him.
“I’m in the living room!”
Hideki quickly found his elderly grandfather. “You were a sports star - and a coach - when you were younger, weren’t you?”
Brendan gave a nostalgic smile. “Oh yeah. Those days are pretty far behind me now though-”
“I need you to train me for kickboxing.”
“Kickboxing? Hideki, I played baseball…”
“It doesn’t matter - I know you have a punching bag, I need to be good at this; you’ll help me.”
“Why do you ‘need’-?”
“I’ve been challenged by my worst enemy, who happens to be the best kickboxer in the school. I have to humiliate him at his own game.”
“’Humiliate’? Hideki, have you heard of sportsmanship-?”
“I don’t have time for sportsmanship! He’ll want to do the same to me, and I have to win!”
Brendan sighed. “Well, I guess I can try-!”
~~~~~
“As much as I disapprove of the general idea of this contest, I am impressed by the effect it’s having on you, cous’,” Huey smiled down at Elliot, who was hunched over a biology text book, studying hard for what was probably the first time in his life.
“Shut up; stop making this worse than it has to be.”
“Bad news,” Brawly started as he came up to them.
“What?”
“I’ve been researching the competition.”
“Broke into the records office?” Elliot asked.
Huey rolled his eyes when Brawly nodded and continued, “Apparently Tang’s father is a doctor.”
“And I’m trying to learn about the human body from a textbook?!” He frisbeed it against a wall, to which Huey gave him a disapproving look. “God, I’m screwed!”
“Is he allowed to ask for help with this?” Huey pondered.
“We didn’t establish that, and I probably can’t insist that now; I asked my Dad for help with the cookery contest.”
“I expect growing up with that stuff just kind of sinks in anyway,” Brawly agreed.
“You’ll just have to do your best,” Huey shrugged. “And you can lose a battle without losing a war.”
“Yeah. I’ll beat him in the fight.”
“Er, yeah, also: his grandfather’s Brendan Jayapalan, the old famous baseball player.”
“Baseball’s not kickboxing,” Elliot rolled his eyes.
“Grandpa Juan was never a kickboxer either, but he managed to teach you enough before they picked you out,” Huey pointed out.
“Mmm. Still, I have a major head-start, right?” Elliot sighed. “Don’t like losing on the tests though; you know he’ll just say I’m an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot; you’re just ridiculously lazy when it comes to schoolwork,” Huey replied sardonically.
“There ought to be some kind of test of social skills - I’d kick his ass even harder at that.”
“How would that even work?”
“Isn’t there a dance coming up soon?” Brawly suddenly thought.
“Yes - YES! That’s perfect! He probably couldn’t get anyone to go with him if he tried!” Elliot got up and ran off to find him.
~~~~~
“Watch and learn,” Elliot said smugly as he saw Robin Andrews walking down the corridor towards them and pulled her away to the other side.
“Hey babe, how’s it going?”
“Alright… But I’m meeting my sisters in five minutes, so I don’t have time to find an empty classroom with you right now, mister,” she said with a smile.
“You make it sound like that’s all we ever do,” he replied in fake hurt.
Robin thought about it for a second. “No, that is pretty much all we do. Not that I mind that much…”
“Yeeeaaah. Er, but anyway, there’s a dance coming up soon, right?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Wanna go with me?”
“Well, you haven’t been paying so much attention to me lately… But still, I think I’d have to slap you if you didn’t ask me, purely out of principle. You better bring me chocolates to make up for it.”
“Excellent,” he grinned. “Later babe.”
And then he returned to his friends - and an unimpressed-looking Hideki. “See? It’s just that easy- if you’re a normal human being who people can actually stand.”
“And you think that applies to you?” Hideki asked, looking him up and down. “Fine.”
He walked off and up to another girl passing - Rose Mamuyac and started talking to her.
“Is it cheating that he’s asking another part-alien?” Elliot mused to his friends.
“Not if it’s not blatantly cheating that you and Robin Andrews have been involved since forever anyway,” Huey replied.
A couple of minutes later Rose departed with a friendly smile and Hideki walked back nonchalantly. “If anything, that was even easier than you made it look.”
Elliot glared at him with arms crossed. “I guess it’s a draw then.”
“Really? That’s it?”
“You can both chat up girls,” Brawly shrugged.
Hideki made a noise of amusement and turned around, apparently looking for something, before walking up to talk to somebody else - Ned Aldrich.
“What’s he doing…?” Brawly asked they stared.
“I think… Is he…? I think he’s…!” Huey murmured vaguely before Hideki walked back to them, leaving Ned looking a bit flustered but happy.
“Well?” Hideki looked at Elliot expectantly.
“What?”
“We showed we could deal with girls…”
Elliot’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped. Hideki smirked. “No. No, no, no. I- I don’t-!”
“Was that just for the contest, or are you actually…?” Huey asked slowly.
“You’re all pathetic humans; I barely notice the difference,” Hideki dismissed. “So, are you going to concede, or what?”
Elliot glared at him and then looked around apprehensively. Jerry Jayapalan passed by, but Elliot just blanched and looked away. “Alright, fine,” he growled through gritted teeth, “you win this one. But I’m going to win overall, you bastard.”
“I’m so sure.”
~~~~~
Hideki beat Elliot in the biology test, but Elliot beat him in the cookery contest (and just about managed not to set anything on fire unintentionally), and also in the writing contest after begging help off his more creative little sister (and having to do her chores for a week), so it was all even before the kickboxing.
Juan had expressed ‘misgivings’ (and a lengthy lecture) after overhearing Elliot’s vague hope that somehow he might ‘accidentally’ give Hideki brain damage, but a sports match was a sports match, and at least there was a referee and a set of rules.
“So they seem to want to pretty much kill each other?” Dwayne checked.
“Yup,” Huey sighed.
“Why do we think they won’t?”
“The rules: you can only punch or kick above the waist, and only get points for the front of the body, the side of the head or the face, and you’re not allowed to use your elbows or knees. And they wear boxing gloves and the school makes them wear head protectors.”
“… They’re allowed to kick each other in the face?”
“Yup.”
“…Okay…”
The three boys watched apprehensively - though Brawly had brought popcorn anyway - from the crowd as Elliot and Hideki prepared. Elliot was jumping around a bit, practising jabs and stretching his legs - Hideki was largely still, watching him.
“Do you think that’s a sign of how confident he is, or that he doesn’t know what he’s doing?” Dwayne asked.
“I don’t know. If Tang thinks he’s going to win, easily at least, he must be straight out delusional,” Brawly frowned.
“I’d imagine he’s just doing like Elliot did with the biology test - just the best you can and salvage whatever dignity you can manage, even if you lose overall.”
“But if Elliot wins this, he wins overall, doesn’t he?”
Huey snorted and rolled his eyes. “Elliot’d claim that, but Hideki will come up with something else and claim that Elliot’s scared if he refuses and it’ll continue forever at this rate.”
“But we hate Hideki, right?” Dwayne was sorely feeling how much he’d missed by being youngest in the group.
“He’s a snob and a git and we certainly don’t like him, but I don’t think we need to go to war with him,” Huey sighed. “As far as I’ve seen he doesn’t have any friends; we should just leave him alone, where he’ll either be happier or learn to be nicer to people to get friends.”
“Tell Elliot that,” Brawly brooded.
The fight started, and Hideki at least adopted the right stance at that point as they circled each other a bit, staring with his huge black eyes while Elliot was smirking a little at him.
Finally Elliot took a quick step forward and punched Hideki around one side of the head, then the other, before landing a kick squarely against his stomach, knocking him backwards a few steps. Smirking wider, Elliot stepped forward to punch him in the stomach, but Hideki took his chance and punched him right in the face. Elliot staggered back a little and shook his head, but the round was over anyway, Elliot having won.
“Unsurprising,” Brawly stated through a mouthful of popcorn as Dwayne nodded.
The second started and Elliot was smirking again, hanging back a bit: trying to draw Hideki into attacking first. He seemed to say something, challenging him possibly, but Hideki still didn’t come forward, replying with words that the boys couldn’t make out either.
“I thought they were meant to be fighting, not talking,” Dwayne frowned.
“Mind games,” Brawly explained. “Trying to bait each other.”
Elliot’s smirk was disappearing in place of a glare and his stance changed.
“Oh crap,” Huey murmured. “Hideki’s really winding him up.”
“Well it wasn’t like he was going to beat him in a straight fight.”
“Yeah, but Elliot should know that. You’re not supposed to let your emotions get the better of you, but his temper…!”
Then Elliot stepped forward with a volley of jabs - about half of which Hideki managed to block before kicking Elliot in the stomach. Then they just stood panting, staring at each other, this time Hideki smirking and Elliot glaring as the round finished.
“I think he still won that one…” Brawly frowned.
“But he should be winning easily, if he could just ignore whatever Hideki’s telling him. If he tires himself out trying to kill him or something…”
When the third round started there was no messing about - they were straight at each other, Elliot all attack, barely bothering to defend at all, while Hideki increasingly seemed to decide the best defence was a good offence, so that punches and kicks were only being blocked by others, some shots landing, others not. And then, at some point, something changed.
“Was that an elbow?” Dwayne asked while they stared. “I thought that was against the rules?”
“It is… as are knees, and anything below the belt…” Huey observed as the rules were apparently flying out the window.
“Crap,” Brawly sighed.
They all winced as the two fighters fell to the floor, boxing gloves discarded, and the match quickly became one of wrestling, fingers closed around each other’s throats as they rolled on the floor, each trying to get into the stronger position, until the referee and some judges intervened to pull them off each other.
~~~~~
“You are the biggest idiot ever,” were all the words of conciliation Huey could manage for his older cousin.
“Gee, thanks,” Elliot said sarcastically as he held an icepack to his eye.
“You could have - should have - beaten him easily, but you got yourself disqualified because you couldn’t control your temper.”
“Why am I being patronised by someone younger than me?” he frowned up at Huey.
“I told you - because ‘you are the biggest idiot ever’! You fell right for his plan! The only good thing is that you’ve drawn.”
“But Juan’s going to kill you,” Brawly pointed out.
“No! No, because Tang broke the rules first!” Elliot protested.
“Did he?”
“Oh, come on, you must have seen it!”
The other three looked at each other. “Not really. One minute you’re kickboxing, the next you’re both on the floor trying to kill each other,” Brawly shrugged.
“And you seemed a lot angrier and harder to stop than Tang,” Huey agreed.
Elliot glared between them. “Oh, you guys are the worst friends ever. Can you at least claim to be on my side?”
“Well we could, but I have a secret suspicion that Juan has a lie detector built into his brain,” Brawly reasoned.
“What have you done for us lately?” Huey grinned.
“Worst. Friends. Ever.”