Gossip
Every time I tell myself "I won't post for a while now" a bit of story/idea comes to my mind and demands to be written. I think my mind just likes being contrary.
This has bad language, but was awfully fun to write :P Also: it takes place... before the last chapter? Basically while there are no pressing issues to be attended to.
~~~~~~~~~~
Rodney and Seth were arguing.
“I swear your whole purpose in life is to annoy me!”
It was nothing new.
“Well it is an amazing amount of fun,” Seth acknowledged with a lazy smile from where he was slouched over two of the police station chairs. “But you assume you yourself aren’t really irritating.”
It did raise some questions, however.
“No, I am intelligent but relatively normal. You are an infuriating sociopath.”
Juan wasn’t the first one to wonder either - and at least one theory had been constructed - but it seemed that nobody else had ever put it to them. He felt that it was time to correct that.
“So if you two can’t stand and hate each other so much, why are you so persistently around each other?”
Rodney gave him a disparaging look. “You think I’m going to trust him to wander around unsupervised all the time? I wouldn’t trust him not to accidentally or deliberately try to ruin me, or even not to kill anyone. It’s for the good of everyone.”
“Yes, because you’re so generous and self-sacrificing,” Seth laughed.
“He probably couldn’t stop you wandering off if you wanted to,” Juan pointed out.
“True,” he smiled, “but he always wakes me up in the morning - out of spite I expect-“
“Or so you don’t destroy my house while I’m gone,” Rodney frowned.
“- and then the bars and places don’t really get going until the evening, so I don’t have much else to do between acting jobs. And I have yet to find a more entertaining daytime activity than really pissing him off,” he said with a mocking smile at Rodney, who glared back.
“Hm. I suppose that makes sense,” Juan said overly-casually from where he was sat at the back of the room, looking through some reports.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Rodney asked, eyes narrowing at Juan’s tone.
“Well, people have noticed and were wondering. Coming up with explanations,” he turned a page slowly, feeling guilty at how much he was expecting to and was already enjoying this. Still, Jalowitz enjoyed making him suffer, he was sure he was at least a little justified in return.
“And that’s not the explanation they came up with?”
Juan shrugged, “In their defence, they don’t know that you’re both covering up Seth’s multiple murders and your blackmail and corruption,” he gave them both a dark look. “They’re working under the assumption that you’re a pragmatic politician and he’s a socialite celebrity, who act like they hate each other all the time but are strangely inseparable.”
Seth was raising an eyebrow slightly that suggested that he might be starting to guess where Juan was leading with this, “When you say ‘people’…?”
“Oh, nothing official I’m sure, but gossip and rumours. Probably among the more celebrity-orientated people.”
“Ah,” he frowned slightly. Yes, Seth definitely knew what Juan was talking about.
Rodney equally clearly did not, and that seemed to bother him a lot. “What?”
“There are just rumours that you two might be… more involved,” it was a real struggle not to smile, especially as Seth winced.
Rodney was taking more time, but had the increasing feeling of a volcano about to explode. “’More involved’? You mean...?”
Juan gave an innocent half-shrug and Seth sighed heavily.
Rodney’s hands were clenched where he was stood behind a desk, the only obvious outwards sign of the anticipated fury he was suppressing. “You’re lying,” he said darkly. “No-one thinks that.”
“There’s a computer there with the internet - look for yourself.”
Rodney looked down at the computer, then back to stare at Juan, before slowly and suspiciously sitting down and typing and clicking away, only pausing to give him more mistrustful looks.
“I don’t suppose we’d be talking more specifically about celebrity gossip sites and things, would we?” Seth asked faux-lightly, breaking the almost-silence.
“I think so, I didn’t recognise the name I was told.”
“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Rodney finally jumped up and exploded after a moment. “WHY? Why would they think that?!”
“I think it has to do with the fact that you’re two single men who live alone together and, as I said, are practically inseparable,” Juan explained, allowing himself the beginnings of a smirk.
“I think some of their minds are just naturally orientated towards that conclusion anyway,” Seth agreed.
“But-! You said they know we argue all the time-!”
“So do most married couples,” Juan shrugged.
“WE ARE NOT A FUCKING MARRIED COUPLE!” It looked like Rodney was about to throw the computer at him.
Seth was actually smiling by this point. “I’m not all that surprised - I’m more surprised that Juan has anything to do with celebrity gossip. What gives?”
“Somebody asked me,” he said nonchalantly.
Seth’s eyebrow raised, but he didn’t stop smiling. “What did you say?”
“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY?!”
Juan looked at them both before looking away. The moral high ground be damned, he was smiling now. “I believe I said something along the lines that there was nothing anyone could tell me about either of you that would surprise me.”
Seth shook with laughter, “Nicely done. I suppose you’d say that’s true, wouldn’t you?”
“THIS IS YOUR FAULT.” Rodney practically growled at Juan, who stayed cool.
“Not at all. What they asked about hadn’t - thankfully - crossed my mind before and I didn’t confirm it.”
“Didn’t deny it either,” Seth pointed out.
Juan shrugged once again, “I couldn’t have honestly said for certain that it wasn’t true. Didn’t - don’t - really want to think about it.”
“IT’S OBVIOUSLY NOT TRUE!”
“BECAUSE THE MORE YOU SHOUT THE MORE RIGHT IT MAKES YOU!” Seth shouted back at him, voice tinged with laughter.
But this just caused Rodney to turn on him instead. “Why aren’t you more bothered by this?!”
Seth shrugged. “Celebrity gossip: what you gonna do?”
“This is your fault.”
“Don’t see how. I couldn’t be sleeping with many more women if I tried. Unless I tried to wrangle more threesomes, maybe four or fivesomes-” he started thoughtfully.
Juan groaned. “No-one wants to hear it Seth.”
“Yeah, anyway, I’m not sure how I could do anything more, so I wouldn’t say that it’s my fault…”
“You’re saying it’s my fault?” Rodney asked dangerously.
“Well, if anyone’s going to be suspect here - have you even dated anyone since I set you up with Mia?”
“You know I have.”
“Ah, right, yes. Jessica Despret. Except that doesn’t really help your case,” Seth claimed, raising an eyebrow.
“And why not?”
“Because you’ve been out… twice? In how long? She’s an absolutely gorgeous model and actress and for some reason she’s well into you, and yet you keep putting her off. Seriously, why is that?”
“You say into me - she’s into my money and power-”
“So? As far as I can tell, that’s all you’ve got going for you,” Seth replied, looking him up and down.
Rodney glared at him. “I don’t want to get tied down.”
“Hey, going by the sex scenes we did in the Jack Band film, she can tie me down whenever she wants to!”
“Don’t you dare,” Rodney snapped.
“I don’t see your name on her,” Seth challenged with a smile. “She’s not even your girlfriend. And maybe if you’d just get one already we wouldn’t have this problem!”
Rodney was stopped by the reminder of what the actual problem was. “I’m going to have to say something,” he growled, voice full of anger.
“Ohhhhh no you fucking well don’t!” Seth interjected with a surprised laugh.
“You want people believing this?!” he gestured towards the computer screen.
“Not especially, no. But firstly: it’s celebrity gossip. Acknowledging it is validating it. And secondly: you’re visibly angry! If you go out there and shout about how we’re not at all together and you hate me it’ll only make them more suspicious that there’s something going on! You may convince them that we’re not, but they might think that maybe we used to be, or that you wish we were! Honestly, how do you get by without some kind of press officer to stop you making an ass of yourself?!”
“So what are we supposed to do?!”
“Ignore it,” Seth said simply.
“I can’t just ignore that!”
“You pretend you never heard it until somebody asks you head-on, which, going by what happened with Harris, might happen. And then you just have to answer in the right way.” Seth sat up and gave a casual laugh in what was obviously an impressive acting voice, “’Really? Well I hadn’t heard that rumour before! Er, well, obviously: no, that’s definitely not true. No: as you may have heard, I’m generally interested in women, but, were I ever so inclined to try that kind of thing, I’d like to think that I’d have better taste than Rodney Jalowitz. So yeah, no, you can seriously cross that one off.’ See? Easy,” he finished, slouching back again contentedly.
Rodney was frowning at him, clearly teetering on the verge of demanding what would be so wrong with him, but managing to hold back for dignity's sake. “Fine,” he said bitterly, sitting back down.
“Ahh, see, maybe Harris shouldn’t have told us at all - if Rodney had exploded like that in public it would have been far more entertaining,” Seth laughed, smiling back at Juan.
“I don’t mind; I’m not that vindictive, I just wanted to see the reaction,” Juan said casually.
“Of course you did,” Seth said with a wink before standing up and stretching. “Anyway, all lies established, all crises averted, we can all go back to normal…” he walked around behind the desk where Rodney was sat towards the exit, but stopped and leaned down for a second to mutter something in Rodney’s ear with a smirk.
Rodney looked shocked for half a second and then positively murderous as Seth very quickly exited the room. “OVER MY DEAD BODY, JAYAPALAN!” But Seth’s laughter could just be heard echoing back down the corridor.
This has bad language, but was awfully fun to write :P Also: it takes place... before the last chapter? Basically while there are no pressing issues to be attended to.
~~~~~~~~~~
Rodney and Seth were arguing.
“I swear your whole purpose in life is to annoy me!”
It was nothing new.
“Well it is an amazing amount of fun,” Seth acknowledged with a lazy smile from where he was slouched over two of the police station chairs. “But you assume you yourself aren’t really irritating.”
It did raise some questions, however.
“No, I am intelligent but relatively normal. You are an infuriating sociopath.”
Juan wasn’t the first one to wonder either - and at least one theory had been constructed - but it seemed that nobody else had ever put it to them. He felt that it was time to correct that.
“So if you two can’t stand and hate each other so much, why are you so persistently around each other?”
Rodney gave him a disparaging look. “You think I’m going to trust him to wander around unsupervised all the time? I wouldn’t trust him not to accidentally or deliberately try to ruin me, or even not to kill anyone. It’s for the good of everyone.”
“Yes, because you’re so generous and self-sacrificing,” Seth laughed.
“He probably couldn’t stop you wandering off if you wanted to,” Juan pointed out.
“True,” he smiled, “but he always wakes me up in the morning - out of spite I expect-“
“Or so you don’t destroy my house while I’m gone,” Rodney frowned.
“- and then the bars and places don’t really get going until the evening, so I don’t have much else to do between acting jobs. And I have yet to find a more entertaining daytime activity than really pissing him off,” he said with a mocking smile at Rodney, who glared back.
“Hm. I suppose that makes sense,” Juan said overly-casually from where he was sat at the back of the room, looking through some reports.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Rodney asked, eyes narrowing at Juan’s tone.
“Well, people have noticed and were wondering. Coming up with explanations,” he turned a page slowly, feeling guilty at how much he was expecting to and was already enjoying this. Still, Jalowitz enjoyed making him suffer, he was sure he was at least a little justified in return.
“And that’s not the explanation they came up with?”
Juan shrugged, “In their defence, they don’t know that you’re both covering up Seth’s multiple murders and your blackmail and corruption,” he gave them both a dark look. “They’re working under the assumption that you’re a pragmatic politician and he’s a socialite celebrity, who act like they hate each other all the time but are strangely inseparable.”
Seth was raising an eyebrow slightly that suggested that he might be starting to guess where Juan was leading with this, “When you say ‘people’…?”
“Oh, nothing official I’m sure, but gossip and rumours. Probably among the more celebrity-orientated people.”
“Ah,” he frowned slightly. Yes, Seth definitely knew what Juan was talking about.
Rodney equally clearly did not, and that seemed to bother him a lot. “What?”
“There are just rumours that you two might be… more involved,” it was a real struggle not to smile, especially as Seth winced.
Rodney was taking more time, but had the increasing feeling of a volcano about to explode. “’More involved’? You mean...?”
Juan gave an innocent half-shrug and Seth sighed heavily.
Rodney’s hands were clenched where he was stood behind a desk, the only obvious outwards sign of the anticipated fury he was suppressing. “You’re lying,” he said darkly. “No-one thinks that.”
“There’s a computer there with the internet - look for yourself.”
Rodney looked down at the computer, then back to stare at Juan, before slowly and suspiciously sitting down and typing and clicking away, only pausing to give him more mistrustful looks.
“I don’t suppose we’d be talking more specifically about celebrity gossip sites and things, would we?” Seth asked faux-lightly, breaking the almost-silence.
“I think so, I didn’t recognise the name I was told.”
“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Rodney finally jumped up and exploded after a moment. “WHY? Why would they think that?!”
“I think it has to do with the fact that you’re two single men who live alone together and, as I said, are practically inseparable,” Juan explained, allowing himself the beginnings of a smirk.
“I think some of their minds are just naturally orientated towards that conclusion anyway,” Seth agreed.
“But-! You said they know we argue all the time-!”
“So do most married couples,” Juan shrugged.
“WE ARE NOT A FUCKING MARRIED COUPLE!” It looked like Rodney was about to throw the computer at him.
Seth was actually smiling by this point. “I’m not all that surprised - I’m more surprised that Juan has anything to do with celebrity gossip. What gives?”
“Somebody asked me,” he said nonchalantly.
Seth’s eyebrow raised, but he didn’t stop smiling. “What did you say?”
“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY?!”
Juan looked at them both before looking away. The moral high ground be damned, he was smiling now. “I believe I said something along the lines that there was nothing anyone could tell me about either of you that would surprise me.”
Seth shook with laughter, “Nicely done. I suppose you’d say that’s true, wouldn’t you?”
“THIS IS YOUR FAULT.” Rodney practically growled at Juan, who stayed cool.
“Not at all. What they asked about hadn’t - thankfully - crossed my mind before and I didn’t confirm it.”
“Didn’t deny it either,” Seth pointed out.
Juan shrugged once again, “I couldn’t have honestly said for certain that it wasn’t true. Didn’t - don’t - really want to think about it.”
“IT’S OBVIOUSLY NOT TRUE!”
“BECAUSE THE MORE YOU SHOUT THE MORE RIGHT IT MAKES YOU!” Seth shouted back at him, voice tinged with laughter.
But this just caused Rodney to turn on him instead. “Why aren’t you more bothered by this?!”
Seth shrugged. “Celebrity gossip: what you gonna do?”
“This is your fault.”
“Don’t see how. I couldn’t be sleeping with many more women if I tried. Unless I tried to wrangle more threesomes, maybe four or fivesomes-” he started thoughtfully.
Juan groaned. “No-one wants to hear it Seth.”
“Yeah, anyway, I’m not sure how I could do anything more, so I wouldn’t say that it’s my fault…”
“You’re saying it’s my fault?” Rodney asked dangerously.
“Well, if anyone’s going to be suspect here - have you even dated anyone since I set you up with Mia?”
“You know I have.”
“Ah, right, yes. Jessica Despret. Except that doesn’t really help your case,” Seth claimed, raising an eyebrow.
“And why not?”
“Because you’ve been out… twice? In how long? She’s an absolutely gorgeous model and actress and for some reason she’s well into you, and yet you keep putting her off. Seriously, why is that?”
“You say into me - she’s into my money and power-”
“So? As far as I can tell, that’s all you’ve got going for you,” Seth replied, looking him up and down.
Rodney glared at him. “I don’t want to get tied down.”
“Hey, going by the sex scenes we did in the Jack Band film, she can tie me down whenever she wants to!”
“Don’t you dare,” Rodney snapped.
“I don’t see your name on her,” Seth challenged with a smile. “She’s not even your girlfriend. And maybe if you’d just get one already we wouldn’t have this problem!”
Rodney was stopped by the reminder of what the actual problem was. “I’m going to have to say something,” he growled, voice full of anger.
“Ohhhhh no you fucking well don’t!” Seth interjected with a surprised laugh.
“You want people believing this?!” he gestured towards the computer screen.
“Not especially, no. But firstly: it’s celebrity gossip. Acknowledging it is validating it. And secondly: you’re visibly angry! If you go out there and shout about how we’re not at all together and you hate me it’ll only make them more suspicious that there’s something going on! You may convince them that we’re not, but they might think that maybe we used to be, or that you wish we were! Honestly, how do you get by without some kind of press officer to stop you making an ass of yourself?!”
“So what are we supposed to do?!”
“Ignore it,” Seth said simply.
“I can’t just ignore that!”
“You pretend you never heard it until somebody asks you head-on, which, going by what happened with Harris, might happen. And then you just have to answer in the right way.” Seth sat up and gave a casual laugh in what was obviously an impressive acting voice, “’Really? Well I hadn’t heard that rumour before! Er, well, obviously: no, that’s definitely not true. No: as you may have heard, I’m generally interested in women, but, were I ever so inclined to try that kind of thing, I’d like to think that I’d have better taste than Rodney Jalowitz. So yeah, no, you can seriously cross that one off.’ See? Easy,” he finished, slouching back again contentedly.
Rodney was frowning at him, clearly teetering on the verge of demanding what would be so wrong with him, but managing to hold back for dignity's sake. “Fine,” he said bitterly, sitting back down.
“Ahh, see, maybe Harris shouldn’t have told us at all - if Rodney had exploded like that in public it would have been far more entertaining,” Seth laughed, smiling back at Juan.
“I don’t mind; I’m not that vindictive, I just wanted to see the reaction,” Juan said casually.
“Of course you did,” Seth said with a wink before standing up and stretching. “Anyway, all lies established, all crises averted, we can all go back to normal…” he walked around behind the desk where Rodney was sat towards the exit, but stopped and leaned down for a second to mutter something in Rodney’s ear with a smirk.
Rodney looked shocked for half a second and then positively murderous as Seth very quickly exited the room. “OVER MY DEAD BODY, JAYAPALAN!” But Seth’s laughter could just be heard echoing back down the corridor.