A Simself's Welcome to Simfield
Should I be working? Yes. Can I stop writing? No.
Anyway, there are some new simselves in town who need to be taught the ropes... Or what little rope we have.
~~~~~~~~~~
Jo stood a little nervously at the front of the room in front of the women who were considered 'new' simselves. "Right. Um, I'm not entirely sure of everything I should be saying since Jess never actually did one of these for us, but here goes. Hi, I'm Jo. Over there," she said, indicating two other 'older' simselves who were huddled around a table, working on something, "that's Katri with the glasses and Esme's the alien." They looked up, hearing their names, and Katri gave a small wave, before they went back to discussing their work quietly. "So, uh, I know some of you guys have been here a little while, but we might as well all introduce ourselves, right?"
"Er, I'm Emmie," Emmie started. "That's not spelt with a y, by the way, Jess spelt it wrong. The one time my name's come up so far..." she sighed.
"I'm Kim, or Kimmi - but not with a y either. I swear I'm nothing like Kimmy," Kim said hurriedly, then frowned, "She really gives us a bad name."
"Hi, I'm De," De smiled brightly, "And I guess I'm the new new person, huh?"
"Yeah, you are really," Jo said apologetically. "Er, Jess would be here, but she's..." Jo hesitated before deciding to be honest. "Well, she's dead. Not that that stops her calling us from the afterlife all the time to discuss things or give orders or just gossip. Apparently we're not at all invincible here, even though we don't age - seven other simselves died with her: Amy, Chemic, Jaii, Koko, Beth, and sim versions of a couple of Jess' relatives.
There's no actual list of rules, but we'll kind of improvise one because Jess hasn't thought one up herself yet. Rule 1: Most of the sims in Simfield are completely oblivious to their existence in a computer game and the existence of simselves - the only one who kind of knows the truth is Seth Jayapalan, and he's killed twelve people since he found out. DON'T give away the fact that you're a simself, it could get you, or more legacy members, killed," she said with a stressed sigh while the new simselves looked at each other concernedly.
"Hey Jo?" Katri asked, looking up from the corner table. "You have crocodiles in Australia, don't you? I don't suppose you'd know how big a pit would have to be in order to comfortably house a few, would you?"
"Unless being in too small a space would make them more angry and ravenous," Esme added.
"Er, no, I have absolutely no idea," Jo frowned.
"Maybe we'll have to go for piranhas instead," Esme pondered.
"I've heard they're not as ferocious and flesh-eating as you hear though," Jo chipped in.
"...What are you guys up to?" Kim asked slightly worriedly.
"Nothing," Katri replied innocently.
"Just devising ways to make certain sims suffer," Esme said with a small but devious smile.
"Are we allowed to interfere?" De asked interestedly.
"Erm... Not really," Jo admitted. "Last time anyone did... Well, I've already told you about Seth. I guess that's rule two; don't interfere unless Jess tells you to. Or possibly if she doesn't stop you. We may have to test that later," she said thoughtfully.
"Then what do we do really?" Emmie asked.
"Er, as best as I can tell: whatever we want and sometimes pad out staged scenes," Jo shrugged. "Although, since Jess died, there's nobody really keeping check on everything, so we're doing that too. Right now we - except Esme because she's too conspicuous -" Esme pouted a little at the table, "have infiltrated the Mayor's Office in order to keep an extra close eye on Rodney and Seth so we can step in if things get too much. Though Jess has told us not to do that. Yet, anyway."
"So... No settling down and having babies?" De asked curiously.
"Er, that's never come up so far actually. I don't know what Jess thinks of that, though she is a family sim..." Jo mused.
"What about imports?" De continued.
"I think there is one imported sim at the minute, left over from the bachelor challenge, so she can't be completely against all that..." Jo struggled. "Oh, why am I the one trying to answer all this?" she marched irritably over to the supernatural phone and dialled it.
"Jess - I'm trying to give the newcomers advice and everything, but they have questions you've never even told us about, so, well, you should be the one doing this! ... Okay," she said, before walking over to a computer on a desk against the wall and turning it on, where up popped a live feed of Jess in a rather lush looking building. Jo then turned on the computer speakers.
"-hear me now?" she asked, looking curiously into the camera.
"Yes..." Jo sighed.
"Awesome," she smiled happily. "Hi Emmie - I've learnt to spell your name now, by the way! - Kim and De! How's it going? And what are Esme and Katri up to over there?"
"We're figuring out the mechanics of a crocodile pit," Katri called over.
"You know, I've been thinking about that, guys," Jess pondered. "Crocodiles are big and heavy and take up a lot of space. If you really want to mess with Rodney, an easier and more disturbing way would be to just lock him in a cupboard full of tarantulas, what with how he's already claustrophobic and nobody like spiders and they'd get in his hair and everything..."
"...We could do that?" Esme asked hopefully.
"Well no, that would mess with the plot, but it's a lot more practical for if you were allowed," she smiled.
"Spoilsport," Esme muttered.
"Where are the rest of the simselves?" Emmie asked curiously.
"Um, the hot tub, the bar or the disco, I would guess," Jess shrugged. "I could call them over if you want."
"Are you saying that you have a hot tub, a bar and a disco all in your house there?!" Jo exclaimed. "Have you seen the kind of place we're staying in?!"
"Sorry guys, but I let all these guys get killed - I had to make it up to them somehow, so... uber-mega-mansion," she shrugged again. "And you guys have to remain inconspicuous if you don't want to get killed too."
"Well if all getting killed means is moving to a giant mansion with discos and hot tubs, maybe it wouldn't be so bad!" Katri frowned.
"...It has its downsides," Jess protested quietly.
"Which are?" Kim asked.
"Er... You get more face time in the legacy?" Jess suggested. "Um, didn't you call me to ask questions?" she asked, trying to change the subject.
"Yeah," De piped up, "Can simselves have families and children and things?"
Jess blinked. "Huh, nobody's ever asked me for that before. I guess I don't have many interesting eligible sims... Er, yes, you can. Though if you're going to have kids you might be a bit busy for simself missions or whatever we have going on, but cute babies make up for everything, I guess. It'd also depend on who you're starting the family with - in some cases it might mean forfeiting your immortality, or not having immortal children if they're linked to the legacy. But that's pretty standard, isn't it?" she guessed. "Also, you'd probably have a kid limit too - I can't have every simself having 6 kids."
"What about imports?" De added.
"Imports are fine if they're for a reason," Jess mused. "Either plot or family generally. If I want someone for a plot reason I'd probably seek them out, but if somebody's being brought in to marry someone you can suggest somebody. And then there probably could be some single sim imports, but there'd have to be a limit on each person because I expect the neighbourhood will only handle so many people..." She shrugged. "The only thing I'd be aware of is that there is plot and any non-simself - and sometimes simselves too - can get caught in it. And sometimes it's not nice at all. Take how dead I am right now, for instance. I might try to keep the imports out of it, but if they're stood right in the headlights..." she trailed off.
"Does your legacy have to be so mean and dramatic?" Jo asked suspiciously.
Jess frowned, "Ummm...... Oh, er, the other simselves are calling me because, um, I, uh... need a distraction. Bye!" she said quickly with a bright smile and ran off screen.
Jo sighed and turned back to the new simselves. "So. Yes, that would be the girl in charge of this whole dimension. And she's already dead. Abandon hope all ye who enter here..."
Anyway, there are some new simselves in town who need to be taught the ropes... Or what little rope we have.
~~~~~~~~~~
Jo stood a little nervously at the front of the room in front of the women who were considered 'new' simselves. "Right. Um, I'm not entirely sure of everything I should be saying since Jess never actually did one of these for us, but here goes. Hi, I'm Jo. Over there," she said, indicating two other 'older' simselves who were huddled around a table, working on something, "that's Katri with the glasses and Esme's the alien." They looked up, hearing their names, and Katri gave a small wave, before they went back to discussing their work quietly. "So, uh, I know some of you guys have been here a little while, but we might as well all introduce ourselves, right?"
"Er, I'm Emmie," Emmie started. "That's not spelt with a y, by the way, Jess spelt it wrong. The one time my name's come up so far..." she sighed.
"I'm Kim, or Kimmi - but not with a y either. I swear I'm nothing like Kimmy," Kim said hurriedly, then frowned, "She really gives us a bad name."
"Hi, I'm De," De smiled brightly, "And I guess I'm the new new person, huh?"
"Yeah, you are really," Jo said apologetically. "Er, Jess would be here, but she's..." Jo hesitated before deciding to be honest. "Well, she's dead. Not that that stops her calling us from the afterlife all the time to discuss things or give orders or just gossip. Apparently we're not at all invincible here, even though we don't age - seven other simselves died with her: Amy, Chemic, Jaii, Koko, Beth, and sim versions of a couple of Jess' relatives.
There's no actual list of rules, but we'll kind of improvise one because Jess hasn't thought one up herself yet. Rule 1: Most of the sims in Simfield are completely oblivious to their existence in a computer game and the existence of simselves - the only one who kind of knows the truth is Seth Jayapalan, and he's killed twelve people since he found out. DON'T give away the fact that you're a simself, it could get you, or more legacy members, killed," she said with a stressed sigh while the new simselves looked at each other concernedly.
"Hey Jo?" Katri asked, looking up from the corner table. "You have crocodiles in Australia, don't you? I don't suppose you'd know how big a pit would have to be in order to comfortably house a few, would you?"
"Unless being in too small a space would make them more angry and ravenous," Esme added.
"Er, no, I have absolutely no idea," Jo frowned.
"Maybe we'll have to go for piranhas instead," Esme pondered.
"I've heard they're not as ferocious and flesh-eating as you hear though," Jo chipped in.
"...What are you guys up to?" Kim asked slightly worriedly.
"Nothing," Katri replied innocently.
"Just devising ways to make certain sims suffer," Esme said with a small but devious smile.
"Are we allowed to interfere?" De asked interestedly.
"Erm... Not really," Jo admitted. "Last time anyone did... Well, I've already told you about Seth. I guess that's rule two; don't interfere unless Jess tells you to. Or possibly if she doesn't stop you. We may have to test that later," she said thoughtfully.
"Then what do we do really?" Emmie asked.
"Er, as best as I can tell: whatever we want and sometimes pad out staged scenes," Jo shrugged. "Although, since Jess died, there's nobody really keeping check on everything, so we're doing that too. Right now we - except Esme because she's too conspicuous -" Esme pouted a little at the table, "have infiltrated the Mayor's Office in order to keep an extra close eye on Rodney and Seth so we can step in if things get too much. Though Jess has told us not to do that. Yet, anyway."
"So... No settling down and having babies?" De asked curiously.
"Er, that's never come up so far actually. I don't know what Jess thinks of that, though she is a family sim..." Jo mused.
"What about imports?" De continued.
"I think there is one imported sim at the minute, left over from the bachelor challenge, so she can't be completely against all that..." Jo struggled. "Oh, why am I the one trying to answer all this?" she marched irritably over to the supernatural phone and dialled it.
"Jess - I'm trying to give the newcomers advice and everything, but they have questions you've never even told us about, so, well, you should be the one doing this! ... Okay," she said, before walking over to a computer on a desk against the wall and turning it on, where up popped a live feed of Jess in a rather lush looking building. Jo then turned on the computer speakers.
"-hear me now?" she asked, looking curiously into the camera.
"Yes..." Jo sighed.
"Awesome," she smiled happily. "Hi Emmie - I've learnt to spell your name now, by the way! - Kim and De! How's it going? And what are Esme and Katri up to over there?"
"We're figuring out the mechanics of a crocodile pit," Katri called over.
"You know, I've been thinking about that, guys," Jess pondered. "Crocodiles are big and heavy and take up a lot of space. If you really want to mess with Rodney, an easier and more disturbing way would be to just lock him in a cupboard full of tarantulas, what with how he's already claustrophobic and nobody like spiders and they'd get in his hair and everything..."
"...We could do that?" Esme asked hopefully.
"Well no, that would mess with the plot, but it's a lot more practical for if you were allowed," she smiled.
"Spoilsport," Esme muttered.
"Where are the rest of the simselves?" Emmie asked curiously.
"Um, the hot tub, the bar or the disco, I would guess," Jess shrugged. "I could call them over if you want."
"Are you saying that you have a hot tub, a bar and a disco all in your house there?!" Jo exclaimed. "Have you seen the kind of place we're staying in?!"
"Sorry guys, but I let all these guys get killed - I had to make it up to them somehow, so... uber-mega-mansion," she shrugged again. "And you guys have to remain inconspicuous if you don't want to get killed too."
"Well if all getting killed means is moving to a giant mansion with discos and hot tubs, maybe it wouldn't be so bad!" Katri frowned.
"...It has its downsides," Jess protested quietly.
"Which are?" Kim asked.
"Er... You get more face time in the legacy?" Jess suggested. "Um, didn't you call me to ask questions?" she asked, trying to change the subject.
"Yeah," De piped up, "Can simselves have families and children and things?"
Jess blinked. "Huh, nobody's ever asked me for that before. I guess I don't have many interesting eligible sims... Er, yes, you can. Though if you're going to have kids you might be a bit busy for simself missions or whatever we have going on, but cute babies make up for everything, I guess. It'd also depend on who you're starting the family with - in some cases it might mean forfeiting your immortality, or not having immortal children if they're linked to the legacy. But that's pretty standard, isn't it?" she guessed. "Also, you'd probably have a kid limit too - I can't have every simself having 6 kids."
"What about imports?" De added.
"Imports are fine if they're for a reason," Jess mused. "Either plot or family generally. If I want someone for a plot reason I'd probably seek them out, but if somebody's being brought in to marry someone you can suggest somebody. And then there probably could be some single sim imports, but there'd have to be a limit on each person because I expect the neighbourhood will only handle so many people..." She shrugged. "The only thing I'd be aware of is that there is plot and any non-simself - and sometimes simselves too - can get caught in it. And sometimes it's not nice at all. Take how dead I am right now, for instance. I might try to keep the imports out of it, but if they're stood right in the headlights..." she trailed off.
"Does your legacy have to be so mean and dramatic?" Jo asked suspiciously.
Jess frowned, "Ummm...... Oh, er, the other simselves are calling me because, um, I, uh... need a distraction. Bye!" she said quickly with a bright smile and ran off screen.
Jo sighed and turned back to the new simselves. "So. Yes, that would be the girl in charge of this whole dimension. And she's already dead. Abandon hope all ye who enter here..."