A Deal with the Devil
This is a very lengthy and conversational scene, left out of a chapter for both that reason and also that, given one option it's pretty irrelevant, but, if the other option were to be taken, I might stage some pictures to make it more official... *hmm*
~~~~~~~~~~Juan sat inconspicuously at the bar in the Lucky Card Shack, keeping an eye on the door. He was early for the arranged meeting time, but a group all arriving at the same time had potential to be suspicious, especially if he was a part of it. Not that he was even certain of who would turn up, but he was sure some of the people would.
And indeed, as the time got on to eight thirty, some of the expected did show up; Jenna Lum arrived slightly early with Gina and one of Mia's nephews - Wally, he thought his name was - in tow, then Sara Landry and Noelle Jayapalan with Zack, and finally Dorian Kauker and Demi Love. They each spotted him as they entered so they knew the meeting was on, but they started off in separate groups before gradually congregating around one table.
They all knew why they were there - they were the only ones who knew the truth about Mayor Rodney Jalowitz - or at least the only ones willing to do anything about it. Jenna, Dorian and Demi were in the police and had been with Juan when he'd arrested Rodney in the first place, and had each been unofficially demoted and implicitly threatened as such, and Sara and Noelle had been blackmailed out of their positions as Mayor and Chief of Police by Rodney. Juan already knew Gina and Wally as members of the extended Ryman family and was fairly unsurprised by their willingness to join in - Zack was more of a surprise, but he was Sara's husband and Jose's father, so perhaps he was more daring than Juan had given him credit for.
They sat in silence for a little while as some of the newest arrivals ordered drinks. Juan, under whose intiative this meeting was called, had become the leader of the movement, but he wasn't really used to leadership yet. And this was all incredibly risky.
After a little longer he looked seriously around the table and started the quiet conversation below the general buzz of the bar, "Are we all in on this?"
"Yes," Jenna said certainly.
"He has nothing on us," Gina agreed with her wife.
Juan glanced at Wally next to them, "Fight the power," was all he said with a smirk. Juan wasn't certain the relatively young man knew what he might be in for, but didn't argue.
He then turned to Demi and Dorian, who looked less secure. "We don't want to get fired..." Demi explained.
"But we will do what we can to make Simfield better again," Dorian assured.
Then he turned to Sara and Noelle, the only elders of the group, who also didn't look entirely convinced. "I don't have long left," Sara said, while Juan noticed how sad Zack looked at that fact - he'd have to remind Jose to spend more time with his biological father. "And... I'd rather die with a relatively good reputation than have Jalowitz bring everything out and then have no time to restore it."
"Same," Noelle agreed. "And I've got two small grandchildren at home who I could be spending time with."
Juan hesitated - he really, really didn't want to manipulative, not least because that was a very Rodney-esque thing to be, but they needed all the help they could get. "While I respect your desires to keep your good appearances, wouldn't it be better for your grandchildren to live in a uncorrupted and good Simfield in which their grandmother may have done questionable things, than to live in this Simfield but with the belief that you never made any mistakes? If we succeed, it'll be worth a lot more than your reputations, and we'll at least know how good you were."
The women looked at each other. "We can decide on a plan first, and then we'll see who can or will do what," Sara said reluctantly. "Don't get me wrong, I want to bring the bastard down for what he's done and is doing, but..."
Juan nodded, "Understood. So: plans. Jalowitz is blackmailing or threatening most of us, in some cases with things that really can't be allowed to happen," he said, thinking with anger and dread of the legislation Rodney had shown to him, "so we're going to have to be careful and anything we do has to work as best as it possibly can. Jalowitz is clever and this won't be easy."
"I think we need to find a way to fight fire with fire," Jenna said determinedly. "There must be something we could blackmail or threaten him with. Why can't we just come out and say he was arrested and put in jail and broke out?"
"Even with that arrest, it was only for stealing art - and he didn't actually get that far on that occasion, so it was more breaking and entering," Juan said morosely. "That may not be good for PR, but it's not exactly impeachment material."
"And he told me that he'd claim it was a vendetta thing as Juan is married to his ex-girlfriend," Sara added, while Juan rolled his eyes angrily. "Isn't there anything else?"
Juan shook his head, "Although I don't doubt he's been breaking the law in a minor way for years, he seems to have stayed under the radar until I got him."
"He has that kid though, doesn't he?" Sara asked, as Juan felt the sinking feeling he'd known was bound to come sooner or later. "If she doesn't know what her father's like, couldn't we threaten to tell her or something like that?"
Juan was about to voice his hesitation when somebody else interrupted with a laugh. "Well that's just plain stupid!" Juan quickly turned in his chair to see Seth Jayapalan sat wearing a cowboy hat, leaning back on a chair by a table nearby, clearly listening in. How had nobody noticed him? Oh god, we're done and we'd barely even started.
With everyone staring at him now, Seth stood up, tilted the hat back and smiled brightly at the group, despite the increasing number of hateful glares he was receiving. "Hi guys, things not going so well?"
"Jalowitz sent you here?" Juan asked with cold anger, looking up at him.
"Yeah, he knew something was going on, so he's sent me to eavesdrop. I think he could tell because you weren't looking as depressed as usual," he explained cheerily.
"You realise that when you're eavesdropping, you're not meant to join in the conversation?" Sara asked, both angrily and patronisingly.
"I said that was why I was sent, not what I was doing, but it's nice to know my older sister is still looking out for me. And my god, you have gotten old. You too, Noelle," he added, nodding to his ex-wife. Both women just glared at him even more. Seth looked around the rest of the table, "Soooo... I killed you," he started on Zack, then moved around the table, "don't know you, but I do recognise you-"
"I'm Gina Ryman-Lum," Gina glared. "You killed both of my parents and tried to make me ruin my family. And that's my wife. And if you don't shut up we'll both break your neck."
"Oh, you don't look as much like your father as the rest of your siblings did," he said thoughtfully. "But I appreciate your feistiness; most of your family were way too nice."
"What do you want, Jayapalan?" Juan asked him coldly.
"To have some input because apparently you people suck at this," he said, before catching the eye of the bartender and giving him what seemed to be some kind of signal. The bartender then proceeded to clear everyone but the group out of the bar, lock the doors and go out back, leaving them all alone.
"What the heck was that?" Demi asked as they all watched in confusion.
Seth looked smug, "You may not like corruption, but if you're on the right side of it, it makes things a hell of a lot easier. So," he continued, grabbing a chair, turning it backwards and then straddling it with his arms resting on its back, "you hate Rodney Jalowitz and wish to stop his reign of extreme corruption and manipulation."
"He wouldn't even be in power if it weren't for you," Sara said still angrily.
"And a lot of people wouldn't be dead," Gina added, even angrier.
"...'No comment' to the second point, but there were numerous things that lead to Rodney's current power, which I expect we'll come back to. For the moment, however, I think you have two possible courses of action."
"You say that as if you're helping us," Juan said suspiciously. "You're on his side."
"Am I?" Seth asked innocently. "I was only on his side in the first place because he could get me out of jail. I'm only on his side now because he's the only one keeping me out of jail. If, however, somebody else were to guarantee me that I'm not going to be locked away again when Jalowitz loses his position, I could be willing to help them."
"Keep you out of jail?! Remind us how many people you've killed and just how insane we'd have to be in order to do that?!" Jenna exclaimed.
"Um, again, 'no comment', but that's all so in the past - I could explain it, but I find that most people don't listen and those that do assume I'm crazy, so I won't. It all related to 'simmers' and 'legacies' and things, but I've sorted it all out now. No current requirement that I kill anyone else," he said brightly.
"...'current' requirement?" Juan asked, deadpan.
"We'll come back to that," Seth smiled.
"If what you want is to be kept out of jail and Jalowitz is already doing that, what would you gain from helping us?" Dorian asked suspiciously.
"Several things," Seth mused. "One: Rodney thinks he f---ing well owns me, and I'd love to show him just how wrong he is. Two: dunno, sounds fun. Three: family," he said, looking significantly at Noelle, who raised an eyebrow back at him. "I want to see Karen and Laura again."
"I may be their mother - oh wait, no, that's the grim reaper, or is it technically you? - but I don't control them, Seth," Noelle said scathingly. "If they don't want to associate with their murderer of a father, I don't blame them and I'm not going to force them."
"I just want to talk to them-" he insisted.
"It's their choice, not mine, and - given what you're like - I wouldn't trust you near anybody I care about on the off-chance that you kill them!" she shouted across the table at him.
"I don't just go around murdering people and I would never-!"
"Can we stop the family drama?!" Juan shouted, nerves worn down. "We're not here for this! Seth, you're here spying for Jalowitz - are you blackmailing us or what?"
"What with?" he asked derisively. "The fact that you all hate him? He knows that about most of you at least. The fact that you're trying to plot against him? He knows you all met now, he'll probably assume it. Your vague and extremely stupid ideas? Oh please, there'd be no point. I've told you, you have two options of what to do."
"Which are?" Juan asked begrudgingly.
Seth smiled darkly. "One: do nothing."
"Do nothing?!" Sara asked incredulously, "What kind of plan is that?!"
"It's an option," he said quietly. "And then there's option two..." he paused, apparently relishing the suspense before they started glaring at him again, "kill him."
"Murder. Why are we even surprised?" Jenna asked, shaking her head.
"Besides the fact that we're not you," Juan pointed out to him, "I don't trust that Rodney hasn't set this up. You're claiming the only option we have is to try and commit murder when there must be plenty of other options and, if we tried that and it backfired, we'd be the criminals. And I don't doubt that Jalowitz would relish locking us away."
"He doesn't have to know that you're involved," Seth suggested. "You wouldn't have to be the ones pulling the metaphorical trigger - I believe I'm the one with the experience, and this would be why you need me."
"Murder is evil and unnecessary," Juan dismissed.
"Evil's subjective, but unnecessary?" Seth asked. "Okay, come up with another plan. But it would have to be extremely fast so that he has no time to realise what's going on and react to it, it'd have to be completely unexpected so he won't have taken enough precautions to prevent it working, and it'd have to be so permanent and secure that he can't manipulate his way out of it then or later. Because, believe me, if you're going to try and get him locked away in jail, you'd better hope he never gets out again. And bear in mind that unexpected is practically impossible when he knows who all of you are and is very conscious of what has gone on and what is going on now."
"If he's so prepared, what makes you think you could succeed in assassinating him?" Gina asked sceptically.
"He's not stupid; he doesn't trust me, but he knows I don't want to go back to - and die in - jail and he believes that he's the only one who'll really offer me that. He sure as hell wouldn't believe that a group in which I've killed two of the members previously, been disowned by another two and killed the parents of another, would ever work with me, and he also believes you're all too good to allow murder, even if it's just in your name. He wouldn't expect it all."
"Maybe he's not wrong," Juan said with disdain.
"Well that's fine," Seth shrugged, "because that's the other option then: do nothing. Take life and corrupt Simfield as it is. It could be worse."
Noelle sighed impatiently, "We're not just going to sit by and-"
"So what are you going to do?" Seth asked her expectantly.
"Well he has that daughter-" Sara started to fill in for Noelle.
"And that idea is absolutely terrible. Let me ask you this: who's going to tell Liv Ryman that her father's a corrupt and manipulative bastard?" Everyone's eyes turned to Juan. "Exaaactly. Look, you may each have your own little things against Rodney Jalowitz because he's blackmailing you a little, or he's ruining your town, but Harris here is the main person and telling Liv about Rodney is the worst f---ing idea you could ever have," he said to him seriously.
"She ought to know anyway," Juan mused despondently.
"No. She shouldn't," Seth said exasperatedly. "Look, you know Rodney hates you, don't you?"
"Not as much as I hate him," Juan muttered.
"I wouldn't bet on that," Seth said seriously. "Anyway, he hates you and he deliberately makes you miserable by ruining your job and taunting you with it and making you effectively powerless in most ways, but you haven't noticed the things he's not doing. Primarily, he's not gone after your family. Why? Because of Liv."
"Surely that just means blackmailing him with her will be all the more effective?" Sara said sceptically.
"No. Liv currently has two fathers where she only has space for one, and she has yet to decide. If you tell her about Rodney it'll be your word against his and she will finally have to make that decision between you and him."
"You think it'll backfire because she'll choose him?" Juan asked morosely.
"Ha, no. If you make her choose and she chooses him, you'll have shot yourself in the foot. If you make her choose and she chooses you, you'll have shot yourself in the head." Juan stared at Seth, who was looking deadly serious. "If you tell her, you better hope she chooses Rodney."
"Why?!" Jenna asked, her look of confusion, mirrored on nearly everybody else's faces too.
"Rodney Jalowitz does not measure family by blood relation, or at least not necessarily. Blood is thicker than water, but loyalty is stronger than blood to him. Theoretically, any bystander who is for some reason entirely devoted to him could be family to a certain degree and, equally, if his own daughter chooses a man he despises to be her father over him, he will have no daughter. He doesn't trust her yet so he doesn't love her now; he could easily hate her.
So then you have the Ryman family: a woman who chose a zombie he hates over him, a middle child of that woman and some other guy he doesn't care about," he said, inclining his head towards Zack, "a daughter that chose the same hated zombie to be her father over him, the biological son of the hated zombie, and the actual zombie who, not content with having taken his former girlfriend, has also stolen his only child. Without Liv's naive ignorance and Rodney's potential to care about her, and with another heaping of him hating you to death, you and your entire family will be f----ed, my friend.
So, yes, you can threaten Rodney with telling Liv, but he will let you make her decide between the two of you, and the best case scenario is that you lose her to him and all that entails. To tell her before you've taken away his ability to destroy you is completely insane.
Which brings me back to my point; how are you going to get him out of power, and how are you going to prevent him from ever being able to come after you - any of you - ever again? Because you're going to have to find a way; he doesn't take powerlessness lightly. The only way I can think of: kill him. Alternatively, leave it altogether and get on with your lives."
They all stared off into the distance. "I didn't know you could think this much," Juan observed vaguely.
"I know," Seth said irritably. "Everyone assumes everything about me: I'm stupid, I just go around killing people at random... Does anybody ever point out that I got a 4.0 in my degree? Or the number of people I haven't killed? Noooo... Still, if you want me to kill Rodney, that'll at least prove his assumptions wrong."
"We can't be complicit in murder," Juan frowned.
"But we can't do nothing either, can we?" Jenna asked uncertainly.
"People always assume that some action is better than no action, but that's complete bullshit really," Seth observed. "Someone said that you wouldn't have this problem if I hadn't done all the stuff I have - well if Juan hadn't arrested Rodney he never would have met me, he wouldn't have been able to blackmail Sara or been driven to become Mayor in the first place, and he wouldn't have all this power now. If you'd left him alone he'd just be a fairly ordinary - if slightly criminally-inclined - guy. I wouldn't be afraid to leave it, if I were you, given your aversion to killing people."
"You seriously think there's no middle way?" Demi chipped in while everyone else frowned at the way he made it sound like they were the abnormal ones.
Seth shrugged, "If you can think of one... That isn't completely idiotic, of course. But if you do find one that succeeds, it's constraining him that you need to be worried about, because he has a lot of connections and is very slippery. And I'm not convinced that, given enough motivation, he couldn't start killing people too." Seth sighed, "Simfield really is going downhill these days, isn't it?"
Juan put his face in his hands, "I can't think of anything else we can use to bring him down. Not fast enough that he couldn't pass that legislation first... Anyone else?" he asked with little hope, looking up. They all looked at each other blankly.
"Well then, ladies and gentlemen," Seth said with a smirk and twinkling eyes. "Do you want to walk away, or do you want to kill the bastard?"
~~~~~~~~~~Juan sat inconspicuously at the bar in the Lucky Card Shack, keeping an eye on the door. He was early for the arranged meeting time, but a group all arriving at the same time had potential to be suspicious, especially if he was a part of it. Not that he was even certain of who would turn up, but he was sure some of the people would.
And indeed, as the time got on to eight thirty, some of the expected did show up; Jenna Lum arrived slightly early with Gina and one of Mia's nephews - Wally, he thought his name was - in tow, then Sara Landry and Noelle Jayapalan with Zack, and finally Dorian Kauker and Demi Love. They each spotted him as they entered so they knew the meeting was on, but they started off in separate groups before gradually congregating around one table.
They all knew why they were there - they were the only ones who knew the truth about Mayor Rodney Jalowitz - or at least the only ones willing to do anything about it. Jenna, Dorian and Demi were in the police and had been with Juan when he'd arrested Rodney in the first place, and had each been unofficially demoted and implicitly threatened as such, and Sara and Noelle had been blackmailed out of their positions as Mayor and Chief of Police by Rodney. Juan already knew Gina and Wally as members of the extended Ryman family and was fairly unsurprised by their willingness to join in - Zack was more of a surprise, but he was Sara's husband and Jose's father, so perhaps he was more daring than Juan had given him credit for.
They sat in silence for a little while as some of the newest arrivals ordered drinks. Juan, under whose intiative this meeting was called, had become the leader of the movement, but he wasn't really used to leadership yet. And this was all incredibly risky.
After a little longer he looked seriously around the table and started the quiet conversation below the general buzz of the bar, "Are we all in on this?"
"Yes," Jenna said certainly.
"He has nothing on us," Gina agreed with her wife.
Juan glanced at Wally next to them, "Fight the power," was all he said with a smirk. Juan wasn't certain the relatively young man knew what he might be in for, but didn't argue.
He then turned to Demi and Dorian, who looked less secure. "We don't want to get fired..." Demi explained.
"But we will do what we can to make Simfield better again," Dorian assured.
Then he turned to Sara and Noelle, the only elders of the group, who also didn't look entirely convinced. "I don't have long left," Sara said, while Juan noticed how sad Zack looked at that fact - he'd have to remind Jose to spend more time with his biological father. "And... I'd rather die with a relatively good reputation than have Jalowitz bring everything out and then have no time to restore it."
"Same," Noelle agreed. "And I've got two small grandchildren at home who I could be spending time with."
Juan hesitated - he really, really didn't want to manipulative, not least because that was a very Rodney-esque thing to be, but they needed all the help they could get. "While I respect your desires to keep your good appearances, wouldn't it be better for your grandchildren to live in a uncorrupted and good Simfield in which their grandmother may have done questionable things, than to live in this Simfield but with the belief that you never made any mistakes? If we succeed, it'll be worth a lot more than your reputations, and we'll at least know how good you were."
The women looked at each other. "We can decide on a plan first, and then we'll see who can or will do what," Sara said reluctantly. "Don't get me wrong, I want to bring the bastard down for what he's done and is doing, but..."
Juan nodded, "Understood. So: plans. Jalowitz is blackmailing or threatening most of us, in some cases with things that really can't be allowed to happen," he said, thinking with anger and dread of the legislation Rodney had shown to him, "so we're going to have to be careful and anything we do has to work as best as it possibly can. Jalowitz is clever and this won't be easy."
"I think we need to find a way to fight fire with fire," Jenna said determinedly. "There must be something we could blackmail or threaten him with. Why can't we just come out and say he was arrested and put in jail and broke out?"
"Even with that arrest, it was only for stealing art - and he didn't actually get that far on that occasion, so it was more breaking and entering," Juan said morosely. "That may not be good for PR, but it's not exactly impeachment material."
"And he told me that he'd claim it was a vendetta thing as Juan is married to his ex-girlfriend," Sara added, while Juan rolled his eyes angrily. "Isn't there anything else?"
Juan shook his head, "Although I don't doubt he's been breaking the law in a minor way for years, he seems to have stayed under the radar until I got him."
"He has that kid though, doesn't he?" Sara asked, as Juan felt the sinking feeling he'd known was bound to come sooner or later. "If she doesn't know what her father's like, couldn't we threaten to tell her or something like that?"
Juan was about to voice his hesitation when somebody else interrupted with a laugh. "Well that's just plain stupid!" Juan quickly turned in his chair to see Seth Jayapalan sat wearing a cowboy hat, leaning back on a chair by a table nearby, clearly listening in. How had nobody noticed him? Oh god, we're done and we'd barely even started.
With everyone staring at him now, Seth stood up, tilted the hat back and smiled brightly at the group, despite the increasing number of hateful glares he was receiving. "Hi guys, things not going so well?"
"Jalowitz sent you here?" Juan asked with cold anger, looking up at him.
"Yeah, he knew something was going on, so he's sent me to eavesdrop. I think he could tell because you weren't looking as depressed as usual," he explained cheerily.
"You realise that when you're eavesdropping, you're not meant to join in the conversation?" Sara asked, both angrily and patronisingly.
"I said that was why I was sent, not what I was doing, but it's nice to know my older sister is still looking out for me. And my god, you have gotten old. You too, Noelle," he added, nodding to his ex-wife. Both women just glared at him even more. Seth looked around the rest of the table, "Soooo... I killed you," he started on Zack, then moved around the table, "don't know you, but I do recognise you-"
"I'm Gina Ryman-Lum," Gina glared. "You killed both of my parents and tried to make me ruin my family. And that's my wife. And if you don't shut up we'll both break your neck."
"Oh, you don't look as much like your father as the rest of your siblings did," he said thoughtfully. "But I appreciate your feistiness; most of your family were way too nice."
"What do you want, Jayapalan?" Juan asked him coldly.
"To have some input because apparently you people suck at this," he said, before catching the eye of the bartender and giving him what seemed to be some kind of signal. The bartender then proceeded to clear everyone but the group out of the bar, lock the doors and go out back, leaving them all alone.
"What the heck was that?" Demi asked as they all watched in confusion.
Seth looked smug, "You may not like corruption, but if you're on the right side of it, it makes things a hell of a lot easier. So," he continued, grabbing a chair, turning it backwards and then straddling it with his arms resting on its back, "you hate Rodney Jalowitz and wish to stop his reign of extreme corruption and manipulation."
"He wouldn't even be in power if it weren't for you," Sara said still angrily.
"And a lot of people wouldn't be dead," Gina added, even angrier.
"...'No comment' to the second point, but there were numerous things that lead to Rodney's current power, which I expect we'll come back to. For the moment, however, I think you have two possible courses of action."
"You say that as if you're helping us," Juan said suspiciously. "You're on his side."
"Am I?" Seth asked innocently. "I was only on his side in the first place because he could get me out of jail. I'm only on his side now because he's the only one keeping me out of jail. If, however, somebody else were to guarantee me that I'm not going to be locked away again when Jalowitz loses his position, I could be willing to help them."
"Keep you out of jail?! Remind us how many people you've killed and just how insane we'd have to be in order to do that?!" Jenna exclaimed.
"Um, again, 'no comment', but that's all so in the past - I could explain it, but I find that most people don't listen and those that do assume I'm crazy, so I won't. It all related to 'simmers' and 'legacies' and things, but I've sorted it all out now. No current requirement that I kill anyone else," he said brightly.
"...'current' requirement?" Juan asked, deadpan.
"We'll come back to that," Seth smiled.
"If what you want is to be kept out of jail and Jalowitz is already doing that, what would you gain from helping us?" Dorian asked suspiciously.
"Several things," Seth mused. "One: Rodney thinks he f---ing well owns me, and I'd love to show him just how wrong he is. Two: dunno, sounds fun. Three: family," he said, looking significantly at Noelle, who raised an eyebrow back at him. "I want to see Karen and Laura again."
"I may be their mother - oh wait, no, that's the grim reaper, or is it technically you? - but I don't control them, Seth," Noelle said scathingly. "If they don't want to associate with their murderer of a father, I don't blame them and I'm not going to force them."
"I just want to talk to them-" he insisted.
"It's their choice, not mine, and - given what you're like - I wouldn't trust you near anybody I care about on the off-chance that you kill them!" she shouted across the table at him.
"I don't just go around murdering people and I would never-!"
"Can we stop the family drama?!" Juan shouted, nerves worn down. "We're not here for this! Seth, you're here spying for Jalowitz - are you blackmailing us or what?"
"What with?" he asked derisively. "The fact that you all hate him? He knows that about most of you at least. The fact that you're trying to plot against him? He knows you all met now, he'll probably assume it. Your vague and extremely stupid ideas? Oh please, there'd be no point. I've told you, you have two options of what to do."
"Which are?" Juan asked begrudgingly.
Seth smiled darkly. "One: do nothing."
"Do nothing?!" Sara asked incredulously, "What kind of plan is that?!"
"It's an option," he said quietly. "And then there's option two..." he paused, apparently relishing the suspense before they started glaring at him again, "kill him."
"Murder. Why are we even surprised?" Jenna asked, shaking her head.
"Besides the fact that we're not you," Juan pointed out to him, "I don't trust that Rodney hasn't set this up. You're claiming the only option we have is to try and commit murder when there must be plenty of other options and, if we tried that and it backfired, we'd be the criminals. And I don't doubt that Jalowitz would relish locking us away."
"He doesn't have to know that you're involved," Seth suggested. "You wouldn't have to be the ones pulling the metaphorical trigger - I believe I'm the one with the experience, and this would be why you need me."
"Murder is evil and unnecessary," Juan dismissed.
"Evil's subjective, but unnecessary?" Seth asked. "Okay, come up with another plan. But it would have to be extremely fast so that he has no time to realise what's going on and react to it, it'd have to be completely unexpected so he won't have taken enough precautions to prevent it working, and it'd have to be so permanent and secure that he can't manipulate his way out of it then or later. Because, believe me, if you're going to try and get him locked away in jail, you'd better hope he never gets out again. And bear in mind that unexpected is practically impossible when he knows who all of you are and is very conscious of what has gone on and what is going on now."
"If he's so prepared, what makes you think you could succeed in assassinating him?" Gina asked sceptically.
"He's not stupid; he doesn't trust me, but he knows I don't want to go back to - and die in - jail and he believes that he's the only one who'll really offer me that. He sure as hell wouldn't believe that a group in which I've killed two of the members previously, been disowned by another two and killed the parents of another, would ever work with me, and he also believes you're all too good to allow murder, even if it's just in your name. He wouldn't expect it all."
"Maybe he's not wrong," Juan said with disdain.
"Well that's fine," Seth shrugged, "because that's the other option then: do nothing. Take life and corrupt Simfield as it is. It could be worse."
Noelle sighed impatiently, "We're not just going to sit by and-"
"So what are you going to do?" Seth asked her expectantly.
"Well he has that daughter-" Sara started to fill in for Noelle.
"And that idea is absolutely terrible. Let me ask you this: who's going to tell Liv Ryman that her father's a corrupt and manipulative bastard?" Everyone's eyes turned to Juan. "Exaaactly. Look, you may each have your own little things against Rodney Jalowitz because he's blackmailing you a little, or he's ruining your town, but Harris here is the main person and telling Liv about Rodney is the worst f---ing idea you could ever have," he said to him seriously.
"She ought to know anyway," Juan mused despondently.
"No. She shouldn't," Seth said exasperatedly. "Look, you know Rodney hates you, don't you?"
"Not as much as I hate him," Juan muttered.
"I wouldn't bet on that," Seth said seriously. "Anyway, he hates you and he deliberately makes you miserable by ruining your job and taunting you with it and making you effectively powerless in most ways, but you haven't noticed the things he's not doing. Primarily, he's not gone after your family. Why? Because of Liv."
"Surely that just means blackmailing him with her will be all the more effective?" Sara said sceptically.
"No. Liv currently has two fathers where she only has space for one, and she has yet to decide. If you tell her about Rodney it'll be your word against his and she will finally have to make that decision between you and him."
"You think it'll backfire because she'll choose him?" Juan asked morosely.
"Ha, no. If you make her choose and she chooses him, you'll have shot yourself in the foot. If you make her choose and she chooses you, you'll have shot yourself in the head." Juan stared at Seth, who was looking deadly serious. "If you tell her, you better hope she chooses Rodney."
"Why?!" Jenna asked, her look of confusion, mirrored on nearly everybody else's faces too.
"Rodney Jalowitz does not measure family by blood relation, or at least not necessarily. Blood is thicker than water, but loyalty is stronger than blood to him. Theoretically, any bystander who is for some reason entirely devoted to him could be family to a certain degree and, equally, if his own daughter chooses a man he despises to be her father over him, he will have no daughter. He doesn't trust her yet so he doesn't love her now; he could easily hate her.
So then you have the Ryman family: a woman who chose a zombie he hates over him, a middle child of that woman and some other guy he doesn't care about," he said, inclining his head towards Zack, "a daughter that chose the same hated zombie to be her father over him, the biological son of the hated zombie, and the actual zombie who, not content with having taken his former girlfriend, has also stolen his only child. Without Liv's naive ignorance and Rodney's potential to care about her, and with another heaping of him hating you to death, you and your entire family will be f----ed, my friend.
So, yes, you can threaten Rodney with telling Liv, but he will let you make her decide between the two of you, and the best case scenario is that you lose her to him and all that entails. To tell her before you've taken away his ability to destroy you is completely insane.
Which brings me back to my point; how are you going to get him out of power, and how are you going to prevent him from ever being able to come after you - any of you - ever again? Because you're going to have to find a way; he doesn't take powerlessness lightly. The only way I can think of: kill him. Alternatively, leave it altogether and get on with your lives."
They all stared off into the distance. "I didn't know you could think this much," Juan observed vaguely.
"I know," Seth said irritably. "Everyone assumes everything about me: I'm stupid, I just go around killing people at random... Does anybody ever point out that I got a 4.0 in my degree? Or the number of people I haven't killed? Noooo... Still, if you want me to kill Rodney, that'll at least prove his assumptions wrong."
"We can't be complicit in murder," Juan frowned.
"But we can't do nothing either, can we?" Jenna asked uncertainly.
"People always assume that some action is better than no action, but that's complete bullshit really," Seth observed. "Someone said that you wouldn't have this problem if I hadn't done all the stuff I have - well if Juan hadn't arrested Rodney he never would have met me, he wouldn't have been able to blackmail Sara or been driven to become Mayor in the first place, and he wouldn't have all this power now. If you'd left him alone he'd just be a fairly ordinary - if slightly criminally-inclined - guy. I wouldn't be afraid to leave it, if I were you, given your aversion to killing people."
"You seriously think there's no middle way?" Demi chipped in while everyone else frowned at the way he made it sound like they were the abnormal ones.
Seth shrugged, "If you can think of one... That isn't completely idiotic, of course. But if you do find one that succeeds, it's constraining him that you need to be worried about, because he has a lot of connections and is very slippery. And I'm not convinced that, given enough motivation, he couldn't start killing people too." Seth sighed, "Simfield really is going downhill these days, isn't it?"
Juan put his face in his hands, "I can't think of anything else we can use to bring him down. Not fast enough that he couldn't pass that legislation first... Anyone else?" he asked with little hope, looking up. They all looked at each other blankly.
"Well then, ladies and gentlemen," Seth said with a smirk and twinkling eyes. "Do you want to walk away, or do you want to kill the bastard?"