Simspiration - Trying to study with constant interruptions
This takes place after the next chapter, but it won't give away much, so it's safe. Fun to write, too ^_^
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"..."
"Do you think they made this with CGI?"
"..."
"It may look nice, but it's boring. What else is on at this time?"
"..."
"Seriously, you only have ten channels? I thought you were loaded! Anybody with this much artwork around their house ought to have at least a hundred. If not a thousand."
"..."
"I think there are people in third world countries with more TV channels than you."
Rodney resisted the urge to smash his head through the computer with frustration. "Seth, do the words 'shut the hell up' mean anything to you?"
"Yes, why?" he asked, not bothering to even sit up from where he was lounging on the sofa.
"I'm trying to plot and I can't concentrate with you going on about nothing all the f***ing time."
"You're plotting? Man, that is not plotting."
"...If I'm making plans for my own gain at a cost to others I'd say yes, yes it is."
"It's not plotting if you're sat quietly staring at a computer. I've seen kids doing Geography homework looking almost exactly the same. You know, without all the chin stroking- speaking of which, you really ought to grow a beard if you're going to do that. It'd probably stop people thinking you look like a girl too. Unless you were one of those bearded ladies-"
"Seth! Shut up!"
"Anyway, my point is that if you're really plotting it should be more... maniacal laughter over an ominous simmering cauldron. That's plotting."
"Oh, please. All that does is provide dramatic lighting and obviously doesn't help much because, if I recall, you just spent about a decade behind bars. Whereas some of us are thinking up measures and counter-measures rather than about how cool we think we look."
"I did look cool... But you're probably thinking too much. The people you're plotting against are pretty stupid. I mean seriously, 'Seth Jayapalan the atrociously evil warlock'' - who doesn't see that coming?"
"Perhaps, but then again, like I said - you just spent a decade behind bars thanks to those people. Maybe if you'd come up with more plans you wouldn't have needed me to help bust you out. Speaking of which, how much do you like your sister?"
"Which one? Sara? No, don't care, go ahead. Any of them actually, f*** them all. And you needed me to get you out of there too, otherwise you'd be the one in there for a decade. And I'd like to have seen you handle it as well as I did, Mr Claustrophobia."
"I'm not claustrophobic."
"Like hell you're not, it was pretty damn obvious. You'd have been shaking in the corner after a fortnight - my ex-wife could have handled it better than you."
"Maybe, but wasn't she the one who kicked your ass before you got thrown in jail?"
"At least I wasn't put in jail by a zombie. A zombie of somebody I killed, I'll remind you."
"Yeah, you're so bad at murder that half your victims don't even stay dead."
"Well I was caught using magic, whereas you walked straight into a really obvious trap-"
"Seth, much as I enjoy arguing with you and scoring points off each other, I need to plot my revenge. Isn't there something here that can distract you for a few f***ing hours? I have no idea how the hell you kept yourself entertained in jail..."
"Do you have a drum kit? I kick ass on the drums."
"For one thing, no I don't have one, but for another, that wouldn't solve my trying-to-concentrate-but-for-the-noise-you're-making problem. There's a basketball hoop outside."
"Go outside and get caught by the police? Not f***ing likely. Out of interest, will it screw up your plans if I get caught or killed?"
"... Annoyingly, yes it will. Though you don't have to live here for it to work."
"Where else can I go? I think Winston'd have me back - benefit of having a son as well as daughters, you know - but it won't work so long as I'm a wanted criminal. So you're stuck with me until you can change that."
"Ugh, fine. All the more reason to need to concentrate. Erm... Oh, there's a counterfeit money producer in the basement-"
"Seriously? Ah, they're perfect for laughing maniacally whilst using. You get on with your stupid 'plotting', I'm off to break the law some more."
Finally, Rodney thought as he heard Seth heading downstairs. But the peace only lasted a a few minutes before he heard the grinding of the machine and Seth's evil laughter. Ugh, I knew there was a reason I worked alone.
_________________________________________________________________________________
"..."
"Do you think they made this with CGI?"
"..."
"It may look nice, but it's boring. What else is on at this time?"
"..."
"Seriously, you only have ten channels? I thought you were loaded! Anybody with this much artwork around their house ought to have at least a hundred. If not a thousand."
"..."
"I think there are people in third world countries with more TV channels than you."
Rodney resisted the urge to smash his head through the computer with frustration. "Seth, do the words 'shut the hell up' mean anything to you?"
"Yes, why?" he asked, not bothering to even sit up from where he was lounging on the sofa.
"I'm trying to plot and I can't concentrate with you going on about nothing all the f***ing time."
"You're plotting? Man, that is not plotting."
"...If I'm making plans for my own gain at a cost to others I'd say yes, yes it is."
"It's not plotting if you're sat quietly staring at a computer. I've seen kids doing Geography homework looking almost exactly the same. You know, without all the chin stroking- speaking of which, you really ought to grow a beard if you're going to do that. It'd probably stop people thinking you look like a girl too. Unless you were one of those bearded ladies-"
"Seth! Shut up!"
"Anyway, my point is that if you're really plotting it should be more... maniacal laughter over an ominous simmering cauldron. That's plotting."
"Oh, please. All that does is provide dramatic lighting and obviously doesn't help much because, if I recall, you just spent about a decade behind bars. Whereas some of us are thinking up measures and counter-measures rather than about how cool we think we look."
"I did look cool... But you're probably thinking too much. The people you're plotting against are pretty stupid. I mean seriously, 'Seth Jayapalan the atrociously evil warlock'' - who doesn't see that coming?"
"Perhaps, but then again, like I said - you just spent a decade behind bars thanks to those people. Maybe if you'd come up with more plans you wouldn't have needed me to help bust you out. Speaking of which, how much do you like your sister?"
"Which one? Sara? No, don't care, go ahead. Any of them actually, f*** them all. And you needed me to get you out of there too, otherwise you'd be the one in there for a decade. And I'd like to have seen you handle it as well as I did, Mr Claustrophobia."
"I'm not claustrophobic."
"Like hell you're not, it was pretty damn obvious. You'd have been shaking in the corner after a fortnight - my ex-wife could have handled it better than you."
"Maybe, but wasn't she the one who kicked your ass before you got thrown in jail?"
"At least I wasn't put in jail by a zombie. A zombie of somebody I killed, I'll remind you."
"Yeah, you're so bad at murder that half your victims don't even stay dead."
"Well I was caught using magic, whereas you walked straight into a really obvious trap-"
"Seth, much as I enjoy arguing with you and scoring points off each other, I need to plot my revenge. Isn't there something here that can distract you for a few f***ing hours? I have no idea how the hell you kept yourself entertained in jail..."
"Do you have a drum kit? I kick ass on the drums."
"For one thing, no I don't have one, but for another, that wouldn't solve my trying-to-concentrate-but-for-the-noise-you're-making problem. There's a basketball hoop outside."
"Go outside and get caught by the police? Not f***ing likely. Out of interest, will it screw up your plans if I get caught or killed?"
"... Annoyingly, yes it will. Though you don't have to live here for it to work."
"Where else can I go? I think Winston'd have me back - benefit of having a son as well as daughters, you know - but it won't work so long as I'm a wanted criminal. So you're stuck with me until you can change that."
"Ugh, fine. All the more reason to need to concentrate. Erm... Oh, there's a counterfeit money producer in the basement-"
"Seriously? Ah, they're perfect for laughing maniacally whilst using. You get on with your stupid 'plotting', I'm off to break the law some more."
Finally, Rodney thought as he heard Seth heading downstairs. But the peace only lasted a a few minutes before he heard the grinding of the machine and Seth's evil laughter. Ugh, I knew there was a reason I worked alone.