Myshuno #11 - "Your mistakes do not define you."
Prompt: "Your mistakes do not define you."
Rating: Some swearing, but that's it.
Word Count: 838
Notes: A little way in the future, after our favourite couple accomplices are deceased. Rodney's all depressed 'n stuff. Which isn't that unusual. And these guys are really difficult to keep on topic.
Seth didn't know how long Rodney had been lying awake for, but he was looking calm yet depressed enough for it to have been quite a while.
"You 'kay?"
"Hn," he sighed.
"Wha's wrong?"
"Everything."
Okay, looked like Seth was going to be awake a while then. He pushed himself up on his side a bit and rubbed his eye. "How come?"
"It just always is."
"You were okay yesterday."
"Meh. I was distracted."
"I pride myself on distracting you with shiny things. There's probably more games we haven't played yet if you want."
Rodney pulled a face. "What's the point."
"You distract yourself through the crappy times and hope that things'll get better. And they kind of have; you're much less traumatised and paranoid than you used to be."
"It's never going to get really better. I fucked everything up before, even given another proper chance - which we're not going to get - I'll only fuck it up again."
"Hey, we couldn't see that whole Hideki thing coming, that's not your fault."
"Yeah, but even if you take that out... It was still messed up. I wanted to get married and have kids and be comfortable and upper-middle class and then have grandkids and be able to be a snob from the comfort of my large suburban home-"
"Well, you did kind of achieve the snobbery anyway..."
"and instead I never got married, had one kid I didn't even raise, lived alone and died alone, and now everybody hates me."
"I don't hate you."
"Everybody else hates me. Now I'm forever just a thief and a corrupt politician who got what he deserved. I don't know why you and Mzyra wouldn't let me die properly, nobody else would care."
"One: yes they would; Liv and the grandkids may be angry at you, but they don't want you gone forever. Two: I love you, and you're worth holding on to. You're not defined just by bad stuff you've done or bad decisions you've made. Like I'm not just a murderer."
Rodney gave him just a hint of another look, which he did not entirely appreciate.
"I am not just a murderer."
"No, you're also apparently crazy too," he sighed.
Seth glare-pouted at him.
"Okay, fine, you're not just a murderer, but like that matters to anyone else. You're always defined by the worst that you've done by society at large."
"Society at large is stupid. And there must be a time limit on that stuff."
"Not on at least thirteen murders there isn't. You leave it four hundred years and people might begin to think that maybe you might be trustworthy by then."
"Well luckily I don't give a toss what they think, and that example doesn't apply to you. Not like I can kill anyone here when they're already dead anyway..." he muttered thoughtfully.
"But they can still judge me for what happens now."
"And what have you done to be judged for since you've died? What happens in Grand Theft Auto stays in Grand Theft Auto, man. Nobody's going to condemn you for killing some pixels. Although, aren't we supposed to be pixels...?" Their existence was pretty damn confusing, it had to be said.
"I could be judged for having to share another man's bed," Rodney mumbled miserably.
"Urrrrrgh, Rodneeeey, nobody cares about that stuff in this bit of the Afterlife. My extended family has plenty of same-sex couples. And a threesome. And like you say, you had to, it's not like you chose."
"Except I have a bed and room of my own."
"But trauma and paranoia made it untenable. We both know that, and if anyone else refused to accept that and held it against you somehow, I would hit them over the head with a lamp."
"My family would hold it against me."
"Your family are idiots. Many of whom deserve to be hit with lamps. And your cousin Aden stabbed repeatedly with a spork."
"This is the kind of talk that is never going to get you trusted by society."
"A non-lethal spork," he reasoned before grinning, "I want to draw out the pain a very long time."
That at least made Rodney smile.
"But screw society. I basically run on the basis that everyone should be happy, and I want to be happy, and I want to make you happy. We don't need other people to give us another chance, we'll make our own second chance. A better chance. With zebras."
"Zebras?"
"Shhh, you woke me up after four hours' sleep with your moping, you don't get 100% coherence."
Rodney shook his head. "You don't even need games, do you? Your insanity is distracting enough as it is."
"You're welcome. Now go back to sleep before I come over there and spoon you."
Rodney snorted but closed his eyes.
Seth watched him for a few moments. "I love you, Rodney Jalowitz."
"You're ridiculous," he smirked without opening his eyes.
"Goodnight," he grinned and lay down to go back to sleep.