Hmmm
Okay, last post was kinda scarce so ima do it justice tonight. Im on yahoo and aint gettin hit up by no one so ima take that as a sign to just write. I gotta lot of stuff on my mind and its real hard to even post them at this present moment in time. I just want to cry because something just isnt right with me right now. Its like im here but then again im not. Im deaf right now to the whole world not comprehendin to what people are sayin to me. Like I see their mouths movin but their voices are void. Like soundless, empty motions, and this has been happenin all day. Sighzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz thats all I can say about that.
I havent spoken to my gf in like 4 days, well Ive spoken to her but I havent heard her voice. We been talkin on yahoo and fixin each others pages and like the phone wasnt even in the pic. This is like a long distance relationship but inside the city limits lol. Dont get me wrong I love her and all but I cant wait till school starts so I can SEE her. Im tired of lookin around and seein all these couples holdin hands. It makes me wanna call my gurl and tell her that I miss her so much. And speakin of missin, I really havent talked to her all day today. Last night it seemed like something was wrong but she didnt tell me. Like im seriously feelin bad over here and its not goin to be right until i hear her voice. I hope she reads this or something and let me know whats wrong with her.
On the 22nd I will be registerin for classes at TSU, I cant wait. I can tell this is goin to be a good year, I mean so many bad things have happen, it cant go anywhere but up right??? I cant wait im soo excited can u tell by my face ((((cheesin real hard)))) lol.
Aite the whole thing about me losin a friend, blah, I dont even want to talk about it because im unclear on all the details. Like everything was sketchy bcuz of me voidin out some stuff. See heres the whole story, a friend of mine has become SAVED SANCTIFIED and HOLY, not bein sarcastic, and im still a LESBIAN. And since im still a lesbian, its not workin in her game plan. Trust me though I completely understand because I want her to move forward in her journey and destroy those demons she has. I dont want to be apart of her downfall and then have someone say, "She used to be right butnow cuz she was hangin with u she all LEFT". I wouldnt be able to take that as her friend. I want her to succeed, cuz deep down inside Im rootin for her. Im smilin now just thinkin about when she becomes famous I can say I knew her. That Im apart of her testimony cuz Im in that book lol. But on the real note she said something to me the other night while explain why we cant be friends. She said I dont know anything about love because Im not understandin God, or something to that nature. I wished I had saved it because it struck me like lightning. Just because I am straight doesnt mean im incapable of understanding love. Im jsut not channeling it where she/"God" wants me to channel it. I pit God in parenthesis because thats what she said. I know love, I knew love when I stayed outta her hair when she left Houston. She had issues to work out and I knew that, I knew love when I was tellin her she was doin wrong, and I cant even began to talk about anyone doin wrong. Shoot I want her to make it through this, so I think that is love. So if you readin this friend I love you. I wish you the best in everything that u do and God is smilin upon u. He has given u CHANCE after CHANCE after CHANCE. So when it becomes my turn I can get a few chances, okay, just give me some time.
Today I had my last words with the wife-beater, dumb gurl. She called me and just sat on the phone. I really dont even know why I picked up, but I wanted to tell her about herself, I needed closer. Well I got it because I called her childish and she was like well I dont have to call you anymore. Thank you God, becuase I told her she took the words right outta my mouth, dont call me anymore, I hate you for what u did to me. And I hung up. Thats it, a closed chapter in my life. Everytime I see that picture I am reminded everyday of what she did. The vengence in her face, the feel of her fists in my face her footkickin my stomache. Its torture sometimes but I have to remind myself of why I shouldnt even deal with her crazy ass. Not that I need a reminder, but its on here for any future gurls who decide they ever want to talk to her. Please take a look at that bytch in the red shirt. SHE HITS ON GURLS, SHE BEATS THEM, STAY CLEAR FROM HER. I wish someone had of warned me. Now everytime someone raises their hand at me I cringe because I think of gettin hit. Maybe I need a couselor, something to help me vent out these emotions Im feelin.
I might be goin, naw I am goin to San Antonio on Tuesday with my buddies Chrystal and Shawnna. I cant wait to see them agian even Josh. Mayne them some trill friends right there. Boy its goin to be live and crunk in that SA lol. I knew I bought a new shirt and skirt for the club. Something told me I was goin somewhere. Now if I can get my Gmaw to give me some money to sponser this trip Ill be aight. Shoot its my account so I dont even know why she trippin.
Well im tired of typin, bout to hop on this phone I pay for muahzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I havent spoken to my gf in like 4 days, well Ive spoken to her but I havent heard her voice. We been talkin on yahoo and fixin each others pages and like the phone wasnt even in the pic. This is like a long distance relationship but inside the city limits lol. Dont get me wrong I love her and all but I cant wait till school starts so I can SEE her. Im tired of lookin around and seein all these couples holdin hands. It makes me wanna call my gurl and tell her that I miss her so much. And speakin of missin, I really havent talked to her all day today. Last night it seemed like something was wrong but she didnt tell me. Like im seriously feelin bad over here and its not goin to be right until i hear her voice. I hope she reads this or something and let me know whats wrong with her.
On the 22nd I will be registerin for classes at TSU, I cant wait. I can tell this is goin to be a good year, I mean so many bad things have happen, it cant go anywhere but up right??? I cant wait im soo excited can u tell by my face ((((cheesin real hard)))) lol.
Aite the whole thing about me losin a friend, blah, I dont even want to talk about it because im unclear on all the details. Like everything was sketchy bcuz of me voidin out some stuff. See heres the whole story, a friend of mine has become SAVED SANCTIFIED and HOLY, not bein sarcastic, and im still a LESBIAN. And since im still a lesbian, its not workin in her game plan. Trust me though I completely understand because I want her to move forward in her journey and destroy those demons she has. I dont want to be apart of her downfall and then have someone say, "She used to be right butnow cuz she was hangin with u she all LEFT". I wouldnt be able to take that as her friend. I want her to succeed, cuz deep down inside Im rootin for her. Im smilin now just thinkin about when she becomes famous I can say I knew her. That Im apart of her testimony cuz Im in that book lol. But on the real note she said something to me the other night while explain why we cant be friends. She said I dont know anything about love because Im not understandin God, or something to that nature. I wished I had saved it because it struck me like lightning. Just because I am straight doesnt mean im incapable of understanding love. Im jsut not channeling it where she/"God" wants me to channel it. I pit God in parenthesis because thats what she said. I know love, I knew love when I stayed outta her hair when she left Houston. She had issues to work out and I knew that, I knew love when I was tellin her she was doin wrong, and I cant even began to talk about anyone doin wrong. Shoot I want her to make it through this, so I think that is love. So if you readin this friend I love you. I wish you the best in everything that u do and God is smilin upon u. He has given u CHANCE after CHANCE after CHANCE. So when it becomes my turn I can get a few chances, okay, just give me some time.
Today I had my last words with the wife-beater, dumb gurl. She called me and just sat on the phone. I really dont even know why I picked up, but I wanted to tell her about herself, I needed closer. Well I got it because I called her childish and she was like well I dont have to call you anymore. Thank you God, becuase I told her she took the words right outta my mouth, dont call me anymore, I hate you for what u did to me. And I hung up. Thats it, a closed chapter in my life. Everytime I see that picture I am reminded everyday of what she did. The vengence in her face, the feel of her fists in my face her footkickin my stomache. Its torture sometimes but I have to remind myself of why I shouldnt even deal with her crazy ass. Not that I need a reminder, but its on here for any future gurls who decide they ever want to talk to her. Please take a look at that bytch in the red shirt. SHE HITS ON GURLS, SHE BEATS THEM, STAY CLEAR FROM HER. I wish someone had of warned me. Now everytime someone raises their hand at me I cringe because I think of gettin hit. Maybe I need a couselor, something to help me vent out these emotions Im feelin.
I might be goin, naw I am goin to San Antonio on Tuesday with my buddies Chrystal and Shawnna. I cant wait to see them agian even Josh. Mayne them some trill friends right there. Boy its goin to be live and crunk in that SA lol. I knew I bought a new shirt and skirt for the club. Something told me I was goin somewhere. Now if I can get my Gmaw to give me some money to sponser this trip Ill be aight. Shoot its my account so I dont even know why she trippin.
Well im tired of typin, bout to hop on this phone I pay for muahzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz