Really bad week
Warning, much whining to follow.
Part of my whine is I cannot get my stupid LJ commands to work. I can get the LJ cut, embeded media, user links... nothing! I can add pics and thats it. Dunno if its something funky set on my computer, and if so what it is, or if it's LJ being cranky. But it has made me more grumpy.
This week is one of those weeks you want to just yell "DO OVER!" like when you were a kid and messed up something, you got "do over rights".
I started the week off finding out a cousin, who I grew up with when I was a youngster as she lived with my parents and I for awhile, died. She was only 52. It saddens me that she died so young, and that I havent gotten to see her in over a year thanks to my hectic life. I keep telling myself that she is no longer in pain (she had crippling arthritis) and that despite my own guilty feelings she is better off. Then to make me feel worse thanks to chaos surrounding me I couldnt make her funeral which was today. I know she understands as family was very important to her, and she was proud of me for going back to school to get my advanced degrees but it still hurts that my own chaos that allowed me to make excuses to not go visit her kept me from making more memories of her, and now the chance is gone.
This week also found me taking Kidling M to the Drs and her having to have a full body bone scan done. If you have followed my journal you might remember last year our going through surgery, intravenous antibiotics at home and her being out of school for osteomylitis in her foot. Well we thought everything was healed but as the weather has started changing her foot has started hurting and swelling again. Long story short it looks as if though she has an autoimmune disease, we just have to figure out which one. It's looking more and more like Rheumatoid Arthritis though. The good news is that RA while it cannot be cured it is managable with proper treatment. It's just going through all the needed testing and diagnostic studies to find out the root cause of whats happening.
Of course finding out Kidling M has an autoimmune disorder is making me wonder what crappy genetics I passed on to my children. Again, if you have followed my journal you might remember the battery of diagnostics we went through with Kidling D and learning she has multiple sclerosis. So now both of my offspring have some type of autoimmune disease. I have an autoimmune disease. What twisted strand of DNA did I pass on to my children? What could I have done differently? The nurse/scientist in me tells me there was/is nothing I could do, but the mother in me wants to scream at the world.
Part of my whine is I cannot get my stupid LJ commands to work. I can get the LJ cut, embeded media, user links... nothing! I can add pics and thats it. Dunno if its something funky set on my computer, and if so what it is, or if it's LJ being cranky. But it has made me more grumpy.
This week is one of those weeks you want to just yell "DO OVER!" like when you were a kid and messed up something, you got "do over rights".
I started the week off finding out a cousin, who I grew up with when I was a youngster as she lived with my parents and I for awhile, died. She was only 52. It saddens me that she died so young, and that I havent gotten to see her in over a year thanks to my hectic life. I keep telling myself that she is no longer in pain (she had crippling arthritis) and that despite my own guilty feelings she is better off. Then to make me feel worse thanks to chaos surrounding me I couldnt make her funeral which was today. I know she understands as family was very important to her, and she was proud of me for going back to school to get my advanced degrees but it still hurts that my own chaos that allowed me to make excuses to not go visit her kept me from making more memories of her, and now the chance is gone.
This week also found me taking Kidling M to the Drs and her having to have a full body bone scan done. If you have followed my journal you might remember last year our going through surgery, intravenous antibiotics at home and her being out of school for osteomylitis in her foot. Well we thought everything was healed but as the weather has started changing her foot has started hurting and swelling again. Long story short it looks as if though she has an autoimmune disease, we just have to figure out which one. It's looking more and more like Rheumatoid Arthritis though. The good news is that RA while it cannot be cured it is managable with proper treatment. It's just going through all the needed testing and diagnostic studies to find out the root cause of whats happening.
Of course finding out Kidling M has an autoimmune disorder is making me wonder what crappy genetics I passed on to my children. Again, if you have followed my journal you might remember the battery of diagnostics we went through with Kidling D and learning she has multiple sclerosis. So now both of my offspring have some type of autoimmune disease. I have an autoimmune disease. What twisted strand of DNA did I pass on to my children? What could I have done differently? The nurse/scientist in me tells me there was/is nothing I could do, but the mother in me wants to scream at the world.