(no subject)
You have made a Cuticle mistake, yes you have.
Picture of me getting my nails done.
So anyway, I got my nails done yesterday. For the first time in my life. Ever. I kid you not. I don't even know how many times a month(?) I'm supposed to be doing this. Did my parents not receive a "How to be and act like a girl" manual to hand over to me when I was born?
When I went into the nail salon and told the manicurist it was my first time, she looked at me like I had just cruised over from the Planet of the Apes. She looked at my nails, then with a horrified look, stared back at my unassuming face without blinking... judgment coating her blank stare.
Nail snob.
It's not like I had ugly crusty fingernails or crazy cuticle overgrowth. As if!
Anyway, so she started mowing my cuticles, weed wacking off the remaining nail polish from weeks prior and slicing off the goo that is my fingernails and man it felt so good. Likelikelike laying out on a comfy sofa eating a bowl of rockyroad ice cream, watching your favorite movie with a loved one, good. Likelikelike taking a bite out of a really, really good steak followed by a sip of 1787 Chateau Lafite good. Likelikelike creme brulee with raspberries and blueberries on top after being on a no sugar diet for a month (plus w/ your choice of a fabulous dessert wine), good. Likelikelike eating all of this and hearing yourself getting fatter and fatter but not caring because it's that good, good.
Oh gluttony.
Back to my story. So! I got my very first, full set done. And it cost me $31 bucks (tip included).
I donut understand. How???
Richard Simmon's whole wardrobe costs less than that. Hell, Richard Simmon's wardrobe+hair+makeup costs less than that.
I feel like I overpaid and I am not feeling very happy about it. (But of course once you sit down and the ball gets rollin', what can you do about it, right?) I feel like I need to sell something on eBay (maybe someone's sunglasses or sportscar? :P) to make up for the loss. I think those two should equal $31, right?
Anyway, I knew it was going to cost me a finger and a toe so I made sure to pay attention to her every move. Oh my stars she was quick! I told her she can slow down because I am not in a hurry (I mean hey, haste makes waste) but she said she can do it fast (and do a good job) because she has "experience." Whatever. Fast did not = good job. Fast = shitty ass job in this case.
But who am I to complain. I'm not that picky and given I'd never gotten a manicure or full set or tips or whatever the heck I got ever before, I didn't really have much to compare it to. But considering I am a perfectionist, I had a few problems with the job. I think I could've done a better job doing my own nails at home. With my eyes closed. Holding the tools with my feet.
After I got out, I immediately went to Sally Beauty Supply and got the items needed for my next set.
I just did my toes.
I 0\/\/|\| y00, nail salon. I r0x0rz. I should open up shop and charge by the finger. Yes, I am that good, good.
I just hope I don't break a nail when I go shoot again soon. I hate how my nails dig into my hands when I hold the gun too tight. (Hmm, why am I holding it so tight anyway?) But you know what? You will never hear me whining about how I broke a nail; I will peel that sucker off and hold on even tighter.
Because you know, shooting a gun is like, just so much cooler than having pretty nails. Like, oh my gosh, you know? *flips hair*
Darn you genepool for making me into a woman instead of a man. Or maybe, just maybe, I was born an intersexual but my parents decided to make me into a girl instead? I mean, it is easier to make a hole than to build a pole, right?
Question: Would you have rather been born a boy or a girl?
I wouldn't mind being a guy for a week or so just to see what it's like. Although I like a lot of the things "only guys are supposed to do" and do believe I think like one at times, I do enjoy being a boob and I don't think I'd trade being a boob to be a ... uhh... ball if given the chance.
Have a great Thursday everyone and a wonderful (and safe) fourth of July weekend.