things need to change.
Today has been such an awful day. Words cannot explain how I feel. It was the first day this year I can say has truly been the worst. Im not going to get into detail about how my day started. It was just so shitty. Not worthy of explaining. So im just going to say what im feeling...
I've come to conclude, that im a bad person. No, I don't think of harming people intentionally or any such thing, but i feel like a bad person because I just dont care enough. I can be so superficial at times and I unwillingly judge people without knowing why they are the way they are. I honestly feel that all that happens to me, that is just so unexplainibale at times, is simply bad karma. Meaning, maybe I deserve all they shit i recieve. Im not an evil person, but I could be so much better. I've realized this now, and im going to make an effort to be the best person I can be regardless of how corny and chessy this sounds. It hurts so much when shit like this happens. I feel not worthy of anyones love, yea you guessed it, specifically a certain guy. I keep thinking to myself it wasnt meant to be but I cant seem to accept that. I dont know what people want from me. What more can I give? Im not perfect, nor am I close to being, but I want to try. I've promised myself to try not to judge people anymore, nor make my bitchy comments. Maybe its time I start keeping more to myself for I have come to conclude that being so outgoing and outthere with my feelings can only cause problems. Im going to try to be truly happy for people, though it may be hard. And overall, I just want to be that person people can say, "wow, what an awseome person. But what can I do? It seems im always wrong lately. If people dont take the effort to change why should I?
-deep sigh-
I'd like to thank a few people who have made my day so much better with being themselves, considering the circumstances..
» Raissa
» Caroline
» Cristy
» Lizzy
They dont realize how much I <3 them.
p.s.
im sooo over him ; even though I wish I weren't..
love always,
sandy
[EDiT]-
thanks sooo much to brainsita for the icon.. im so LOViN it. your the best.
I've come to conclude, that im a bad person. No, I don't think of harming people intentionally or any such thing, but i feel like a bad person because I just dont care enough. I can be so superficial at times and I unwillingly judge people without knowing why they are the way they are. I honestly feel that all that happens to me, that is just so unexplainibale at times, is simply bad karma. Meaning, maybe I deserve all they shit i recieve. Im not an evil person, but I could be so much better. I've realized this now, and im going to make an effort to be the best person I can be regardless of how corny and chessy this sounds. It hurts so much when shit like this happens. I feel not worthy of anyones love, yea you guessed it, specifically a certain guy. I keep thinking to myself it wasnt meant to be but I cant seem to accept that. I dont know what people want from me. What more can I give? Im not perfect, nor am I close to being, but I want to try. I've promised myself to try not to judge people anymore, nor make my bitchy comments. Maybe its time I start keeping more to myself for I have come to conclude that being so outgoing and outthere with my feelings can only cause problems. Im going to try to be truly happy for people, though it may be hard. And overall, I just want to be that person people can say, "wow, what an awseome person. But what can I do? It seems im always wrong lately. If people dont take the effort to change why should I?
-deep sigh-
I'd like to thank a few people who have made my day so much better with being themselves, considering the circumstances..
» Raissa
» Caroline
» Cristy
» Lizzy
They dont realize how much I <3 them.
p.s.
im sooo over him ; even though I wish I weren't..
love always,
sandy
[EDiT]-
thanks sooo much to brainsita for the icon.. im so LOViN it. your the best.