i meant to post this awhile ago. and i still have that cd.
today was my dawdle day. drove to canes to buy tickets for terressa, her friend, and i. bought a hideous plaid zip up top. and by hideous, i mean great. and as i was flipping thru my cd case, i noticed i still have his cd. i would send it back but i don't have the address.
truth, if i can say so, i do miss him. singing precariously with me in the morning or actually catching me singing. speaking to him and feeling that he is listening. a friend that for the first time in a long time can see what i am thinking without me saying it. or at least i thought so. but i can't be the one always trying. chasing him down. why should a friendship be one fighting for it. meet me half way.
still wearing the jean jacket and it lets the cold in. still wearing the jean jacket i got after i returned the watch i would have given him. given him the time of day i guess. given him something that he could hold and keep on. he could look at his place and time and know it was right. and that i felt enough to give him something good. a lot of other friends said that i gave too much. let him too far in. and he did not deserve a fraction of my effort. no matter what - i don't think they are right. no matter if he changes or remains the same. that someone i see is in there. and all he would have to do is stop. and all he would have to do is stop. and i would have no problems with hellos or phone calls or trips or anything. but it is not up to me. i am not going to play anymore. i deserve.
truth, if i can say so, i do miss him. singing precariously with me in the morning or actually catching me singing. speaking to him and feeling that he is listening. a friend that for the first time in a long time can see what i am thinking without me saying it. or at least i thought so. but i can't be the one always trying. chasing him down. why should a friendship be one fighting for it. meet me half way.
still wearing the jean jacket and it lets the cold in. still wearing the jean jacket i got after i returned the watch i would have given him. given him the time of day i guess. given him something that he could hold and keep on. he could look at his place and time and know it was right. and that i felt enough to give him something good. a lot of other friends said that i gave too much. let him too far in. and he did not deserve a fraction of my effort. no matter what - i don't think they are right. no matter if he changes or remains the same. that someone i see is in there. and all he would have to do is stop. and all he would have to do is stop. and i would have no problems with hellos or phone calls or trips or anything. but it is not up to me. i am not going to play anymore. i deserve.