as the cliche goes...some things never change.
i have finally moved beyond my complex. you know the one where you take in lost puppies and try to gently nurse them back to health. i haven't tried to save anyone in a very long time. more or less, my pattern is extreme empathy. and yes, that still means a devout emotional attachment, but it doesn't include as much of a personal investment. when things go wrong, i no longer feel it necessary to blame myself. and it's relieving.
however, even the emotional attachment i form, which is more natural than comprised, is exhausting. when the relationship abruptly ends, someone moves, or the situation changes, i have a hard time not missing them. i know just get over it and move on. well, don't even get me started on the phrase, "get over it." personally, i think it's one of the most psychologically insensitive sentences in the world. but that's irrelevant. i almost always accept the fact that they are gone. what i am left with is the feeling of loss. the smile that i had when i was around them is gone. the personal connection i had is lost. and i just miss them, and how well, i was able to know them. and if this is sad and pathetic to many of you....as my mom always says, "go fuck yourself." or the other colorful saying that she adores, "you think your shit doesn't stink. please. everybody's shit stinks. that's something as clear as fucking day." and you wonder why i am the way i am.
however, even the emotional attachment i form, which is more natural than comprised, is exhausting. when the relationship abruptly ends, someone moves, or the situation changes, i have a hard time not missing them. i know just get over it and move on. well, don't even get me started on the phrase, "get over it." personally, i think it's one of the most psychologically insensitive sentences in the world. but that's irrelevant. i almost always accept the fact that they are gone. what i am left with is the feeling of loss. the smile that i had when i was around them is gone. the personal connection i had is lost. and i just miss them, and how well, i was able to know them. and if this is sad and pathetic to many of you....as my mom always says, "go fuck yourself." or the other colorful saying that she adores, "you think your shit doesn't stink. please. everybody's shit stinks. that's something as clear as fucking day." and you wonder why i am the way i am.