so...not...doing...anything...
BLARGH.
I have to make some sandwiches and pack a few sodas and shit. I guess. I was going to stay awake until my dad came home so that 1)I could say Merry Christmas in person and 2)so that I can be clear about the stuff I have to pack.
I have done that thing that makes me think a lot about the past...look through my archives to this time last year.
Well, it's going to be a new year, right?
What was I like last year?
I was hung up on Seth in the strangest way after he had abused me in the worst way...I wanted to get along with Tyler, but he wanted nothing to do with me...I was starting to date Nick, which was pretty frickin' awesome...I was down with mono...I was pissed with the fucking pink nightmare of a room mate that I had...I was really really hurt by the way that Amanda acted...I wasn't practicing as much as I should have been...I was fucking up...I was feeling so bad about so many things...I was letting a good thing go bad just because I didn't think that I could do it...I was letting time get away from me and sticking my head way too deep into homework...I was uncreative...I was depressed at times...this seems to be getting sadder and sadder...
Right now??
Seth is in Europe and out of my head...Tyler works in Columbus and we talk every so often, and we talk well...I am still dating Nick after a year of ups and downs and eventual love...I am getting over a sinus infection...I love my room mate and we might be living off campus or staying in the dorms together next year...I really don't care about the way Amanda acts (her destructive behavior is none of my concern)...I am still not practicing as much as I "should"...I might be fucking up, but I don't seem to care about it right now...I am finally starting to feel like I can beat the things that made me feel bad in the first place...I nearly let that same thing good bad once very recently, but never again while I can look at him and see my future in his eyes...I still let time get away from me, but I manage it much better now when homework is involved...I am still kind of uncreative...I still am depressed at times...this seems to be on the up and up...
ERG.
I wish that my brain were more concerned with making those sandwiches.
I guess I'll have to make it be more concerned.
I have to make some sandwiches and pack a few sodas and shit. I guess. I was going to stay awake until my dad came home so that 1)I could say Merry Christmas in person and 2)so that I can be clear about the stuff I have to pack.
I have done that thing that makes me think a lot about the past...look through my archives to this time last year.
Well, it's going to be a new year, right?
What was I like last year?
I was hung up on Seth in the strangest way after he had abused me in the worst way...I wanted to get along with Tyler, but he wanted nothing to do with me...I was starting to date Nick, which was pretty frickin' awesome...I was down with mono...I was pissed with the fucking pink nightmare of a room mate that I had...I was really really hurt by the way that Amanda acted...I wasn't practicing as much as I should have been...I was fucking up...I was feeling so bad about so many things...I was letting a good thing go bad just because I didn't think that I could do it...I was letting time get away from me and sticking my head way too deep into homework...I was uncreative...I was depressed at times...this seems to be getting sadder and sadder...
Right now??
Seth is in Europe and out of my head...Tyler works in Columbus and we talk every so often, and we talk well...I am still dating Nick after a year of ups and downs and eventual love...I am getting over a sinus infection...I love my room mate and we might be living off campus or staying in the dorms together next year...I really don't care about the way Amanda acts (her destructive behavior is none of my concern)...I am still not practicing as much as I "should"...I might be fucking up, but I don't seem to care about it right now...I am finally starting to feel like I can beat the things that made me feel bad in the first place...I nearly let that same thing good bad once very recently, but never again while I can look at him and see my future in his eyes...I still let time get away from me, but I manage it much better now when homework is involved...I am still kind of uncreative...I still am depressed at times...this seems to be on the up and up...
ERG.
I wish that my brain were more concerned with making those sandwiches.
I guess I'll have to make it be more concerned.