::cough::
Hanging out in Perkins makes me realize which people I wish I could see more often...and those which I never had any desire to see again.
I accidentally asked a coworker on a date today.
Well, actually, I asked him if he wanted to, "hang out sometime outside of work."
Unfortunately, I am a dumbass and it's really easy for my intentions to be lost in translation.
Which largely effects my communication skillz.
On Wednesday my brother is going to Mississippi. He is going to be living there. He is going to be working there. I am not going to be able to come home and hang out with my brother anymore. I won't have him around to pick on me. I'll be able to call him...but only call him without the ability to see him.
Everyone at A&W knows him - he's worked there for almost 7 years and is a personality that is not easily forgotten.
They all ask me...all the time..."Are you going to miss your brother?"
I kind of shrug it off...say something about how I've been living with him all my life and that it'll be nice to not have him picking on me anymore. They laugh sometimes or nod because they know what it's like. But, honestly...what do they think?
OF COURSE I AM GOING TO MISS HIM!!!!!
HE IS MY ONLY FULL BROTHER....THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS BEEN THERE THROUGHOUT MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!!
I'm going to miss him...terribly.
This guy at work...who is an ass, I have to admit...made some comment today about not thinking that Dave could make it that far.
He hasn't been working there long.
I very nearly marched after him into the kitchen to ream him out over saying such a thing. You don't think my brother could get that far?? My brother is brilliant! My brother has the knowledge and the skill to do this thing - it is what he loves!! I'd like to see you doing something that you love for the rest of your life, you low-life Texan git!
heh....low-life Texan git...
I am proud of my bro.
I wish that I were making such a large leap in my life.
I don't think that I really want to be a performer any more. I mean...I want to play and I want to practice...but I just don't. I don't feel compelled. Everything is so expensive ($50,000 for an instrument??? JUST the instrument) and so freaking hard to do if you want to make it into a career - and not just play for free in a community orchestra.
What I told Carrera - when he asked my what I wanted over the summer - is still the same.
I want to be happy.
To be happy, I must be free.
To be free, I must be out of this place.
Some people would tell me that you can't think that you'll find happiness that easily. To those people, I'd have to say that 1) they take life WAY to seriously and 2) they never lived with my mother.
Everything here is so cold and emotionless. There is very little love in this house that can be expressed. I love my dad - I would never tell him that I love him in front of my mother for fear that she would get secretly offended because I never tell her that.
Do I even love her?
I don't think I have loved her since the day I told her I did and she immediately told me I didn't.
I have enough of being told who I am and what I think and how I feel by someone who hasn't the foggiest idea of who I really am.
WHO I REALLY AM.
I finally told her something that I think she really needed to know. She ignored it just because I used the word "fucking" to describe how severe my point was.
I'm tired of being treated like a child.
Okay...um...yeah.
I accidentally asked a coworker on a date today.
Well, actually, I asked him if he wanted to, "hang out sometime outside of work."
Unfortunately, I am a dumbass and it's really easy for my intentions to be lost in translation.
Which largely effects my communication skillz.
On Wednesday my brother is going to Mississippi. He is going to be living there. He is going to be working there. I am not going to be able to come home and hang out with my brother anymore. I won't have him around to pick on me. I'll be able to call him...but only call him without the ability to see him.
Everyone at A&W knows him - he's worked there for almost 7 years and is a personality that is not easily forgotten.
They all ask me...all the time..."Are you going to miss your brother?"
I kind of shrug it off...say something about how I've been living with him all my life and that it'll be nice to not have him picking on me anymore. They laugh sometimes or nod because they know what it's like. But, honestly...what do they think?
OF COURSE I AM GOING TO MISS HIM!!!!!
HE IS MY ONLY FULL BROTHER....THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS BEEN THERE THROUGHOUT MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!!
I'm going to miss him...terribly.
This guy at work...who is an ass, I have to admit...made some comment today about not thinking that Dave could make it that far.
He hasn't been working there long.
I very nearly marched after him into the kitchen to ream him out over saying such a thing. You don't think my brother could get that far?? My brother is brilliant! My brother has the knowledge and the skill to do this thing - it is what he loves!! I'd like to see you doing something that you love for the rest of your life, you low-life Texan git!
heh....low-life Texan git...
I am proud of my bro.
I wish that I were making such a large leap in my life.
I don't think that I really want to be a performer any more. I mean...I want to play and I want to practice...but I just don't. I don't feel compelled. Everything is so expensive ($50,000 for an instrument??? JUST the instrument) and so freaking hard to do if you want to make it into a career - and not just play for free in a community orchestra.
What I told Carrera - when he asked my what I wanted over the summer - is still the same.
I want to be happy.
To be happy, I must be free.
To be free, I must be out of this place.
Some people would tell me that you can't think that you'll find happiness that easily. To those people, I'd have to say that 1) they take life WAY to seriously and 2) they never lived with my mother.
Everything here is so cold and emotionless. There is very little love in this house that can be expressed. I love my dad - I would never tell him that I love him in front of my mother for fear that she would get secretly offended because I never tell her that.
Do I even love her?
I don't think I have loved her since the day I told her I did and she immediately told me I didn't.
I have enough of being told who I am and what I think and how I feel by someone who hasn't the foggiest idea of who I really am.
WHO I REALLY AM.
I finally told her something that I think she really needed to know. She ignored it just because I used the word "fucking" to describe how severe my point was.
I'm tired of being treated like a child.
Okay...um...yeah.