(no subject)
im exhausted every way possible. mentally, emotionally, physically. i have no money. im scared shitless about it. its all i ever think about anymore. its killing me. im selling my van. no more car. if anyones interested in an acoustic guitar or a silver trumpet let me know, ill sell them too. i'd sell my soul if i could. i started to move in today, i hate my dorm. im having a hard time finding a job. even at mcdonalds, burger king, etc. i dont know wut to do. i might end up commuting to chowders. thats so fucked up in so many ways i dont even want to think about it. i've lost my faith and i feel empty. life is meaningless to me now. i tried to go see a counseler today but i cant til next week. i made my dad feel guilty about my problems. i think i've developed an eating disorder. im so confused about life. there r so many questions that r impossible to answer. i miss having a girlfriend yet i've developed this negative attitude toward the female sex. i've developed a negative attitude against most people, for reasons only in my head. the only reason i stay alive is for my dad, but being alive im bring him down financially. he wants the best for me and i hate it. i feel like i've lost control and all i can do is hold on, ride it out, and hope things turn out for the best. im so tired. good night.