fuck me
What a giant fucking mistake. I didn't think I could feel like this. I haven't been this depressed since high school before I started taking the zombie meds. Since I've gotten down here it's been one bit of bad news followed by another. Everything has gone wrong. I feel awful 24 hours a day and I try to hide it, but im not great at it. I can't talk to anyone from home without bursting into tears and im SO OVER CRYING at this point. I know everyone says I haven't given it enough of a chance, i get it, im not saying I fucking give up, I'm saying I hate it but im dealing with it. I stopped myself from jumping off that bridge yesterday didn't I? What the fuck else do you want from me? I won't lie and say it's so fun, I can't do that. I won't say that I've met one person here who isn't down on life and fucking doesn't talk shit about their situation or their friends or whatever and not one of them have a plan of action. This radio job didn't work, great, and now this guy wants to fuck me, no thank you. I don't know what else to do. Rachel's moving, Jim moved out hiking the rent up, I cant afford what it WAS and now work doesn't start till the 16th, so i wont even make enough to pay the rent by the due date. Fuck my life dude. I have been sitting here crying for days, only stopping when people are around....and that hasn't been often. I feel like my friends, with exception of VERY few have completely fucking left behind. No texts unless I text first, no calls. I'm just done, im gonna go take some meds.