Deep Thought
On Monday, after I dropped T off from our exciting night of watching BSG (one day we might be caught up to the rest of the world!!), Dante called me up and informed me that one of our friend's marriages was breaking up, but who's would shock me. I know it is horrible to say, but Dante and I have often had opinions on our friend's relationships and which ones were strong, which ones weren't, and which ones we just couldn't figure out for the life of us. And he was right....this one was not one that I expected.
Anyway, one comment that was made to him via the friend (who informed him of this current change of things), was that there is much concern that this friend would lose a lot of friend's based on the decision, because many people think that the other partner is "a really great guy, and that they don't see all of who he is."
I must say, I understand how she feels. I have always felt that the other friend, her husband, was a bit of a chameleon. I knew him way before she entered the picture - and I saw the mask drop away from time to time. I also had may share of butting heads with him - and getting into arguments, so in some ways, I am not shocked by some of what Dante has found out. But I find it so interesting in many ways, because I viewed their relationship from an almost detatched perspective. I only saw them when they were happy, only how they acted in public. I didn't see the full picture. I also saw less of the picture, because of the fact that we haven't seen them in many years. What I viewed as a perfect marriage, wasn't as perfect as I had lead myself to believe (or wanted to believe!)
This all makes me think of how other's must view my marriage. I KNOW many people don't see the full picture. They don't know everything. They only see that which I/Dante wish to portray to them. I know I have posted before about how people hide aspects of themselves, but that isn't all we hide, is it? We hide what our relationships truly are, we hide how we feel about others, we hide even stupid things at times like our real hair color or our age.
Why do we have to hide so much of who we are? Is it social pressure? Is it just wanting to be normal (even if we have no clue what normal really is anyway?) Is it fear of what another might say? And why should we care what other's say?
Louise
Anyway, one comment that was made to him via the friend (who informed him of this current change of things), was that there is much concern that this friend would lose a lot of friend's based on the decision, because many people think that the other partner is "a really great guy, and that they don't see all of who he is."
I must say, I understand how she feels. I have always felt that the other friend, her husband, was a bit of a chameleon. I knew him way before she entered the picture - and I saw the mask drop away from time to time. I also had may share of butting heads with him - and getting into arguments, so in some ways, I am not shocked by some of what Dante has found out. But I find it so interesting in many ways, because I viewed their relationship from an almost detatched perspective. I only saw them when they were happy, only how they acted in public. I didn't see the full picture. I also saw less of the picture, because of the fact that we haven't seen them in many years. What I viewed as a perfect marriage, wasn't as perfect as I had lead myself to believe (or wanted to believe!)
This all makes me think of how other's must view my marriage. I KNOW many people don't see the full picture. They don't know everything. They only see that which I/Dante wish to portray to them. I know I have posted before about how people hide aspects of themselves, but that isn't all we hide, is it? We hide what our relationships truly are, we hide how we feel about others, we hide even stupid things at times like our real hair color or our age.
Why do we have to hide so much of who we are? Is it social pressure? Is it just wanting to be normal (even if we have no clue what normal really is anyway?) Is it fear of what another might say? And why should we care what other's say?
Louise