holy fucking shit batman
well well well.. haven't been here to type thoughts or situations in a "minute".
So much has changed. Mainly myself.
Mistakes have taken place, regrets have subsidded and drugs have been fucked with.
I dropped out of school, only to enroll back in it and repeat what i did before.
Like a ceiling fan.
I always seem to put off things. Maybe one day i will break of that habit.
As we speak I'm taking my 4 hour drug and alcohol test.
A test i should have but didn't accomplish when i had drivers' ed. in my 11th grade year.
Drugs lacked my motivation and dulled my judgment.
Silly silly me.
I seriously lost myself for a good moment. I don't where i went. Or remembered how i got there or came back.
Certain things mommy told me not to fuck with i did.
Curiousity of a teenager.
The danger of it.
Faces that i used to call friends are lost. Faces that hold more than one face in general.
I find it sad in one stance, but in another i have to not give a flying fuck.
I'm on probation for a crime i didn't exactly commit.
Another bite in the ass from poor judgment.
I'm still with the same person i have always been with.
That will most likely remain.
I don't wish for change.
Pieces of green paper - yes.
Change - no.
I'm 18 now. Freedom is sparkling.
But i don't know what to do with it. There's nothing i can do with it.
Maybe buy porn or buy cancer sticks i don't even waste my life on.
But now.. I'll be able to move somewhere if i please.
But the question is where? when? how?
Maybe one day i'll answer those for you.
For now, i must answer them for myself