sugar in my bowl
-i don't do much i want to write about anymore.
-if the coming-out (as queer, or radical, or whatever) narrative goes like this: desire>identity>community>politics why isn't the next step alienation? part of the reason i'm happier lately is because i've come to terms with the extent to which i'm alienated by the radical left, especially the men in it. for some reason, acknowledging that anarcho-bros make me feel nervous and stupid kind of absolves me from taking part in a form of political engagement that was briefly totally central to my identity. there's a lack there, to be sure, and things are less exciting, less sexy: but there are also good friends and long dinners and dancing and kissing. so i'm not bored, just fucking comfortable for once.
-remember when i used to identify really hard as a writer and a poet?
-i had so much more direction at 17 than i do right now. such is the certainty of youth, i guess.
-i feel like i'm dating the counterculture. and apparently we are in an open relationship.
-relatedly (or perhaps not), i'm pretty sure i am queer, and that's pretty neat.
-unseasonal warmth is getting me preemptively twitterpated for spring. (also: frisky!)
-i want to get better on focusing, following through, and not looking at the internet constantly (this entry is a testament to how much i have not been doing that)
-friday is the last day of the rest of my life. it's time for everything to change again.
-if the coming-out (as queer, or radical, or whatever) narrative goes like this: desire>identity>community>politics why isn't the next step alienation? part of the reason i'm happier lately is because i've come to terms with the extent to which i'm alienated by the radical left, especially the men in it. for some reason, acknowledging that anarcho-bros make me feel nervous and stupid kind of absolves me from taking part in a form of political engagement that was briefly totally central to my identity. there's a lack there, to be sure, and things are less exciting, less sexy: but there are also good friends and long dinners and dancing and kissing. so i'm not bored, just fucking comfortable for once.
-remember when i used to identify really hard as a writer and a poet?
-i had so much more direction at 17 than i do right now. such is the certainty of youth, i guess.
-i feel like i'm dating the counterculture. and apparently we are in an open relationship.
-relatedly (or perhaps not), i'm pretty sure i am queer, and that's pretty neat.
-unseasonal warmth is getting me preemptively twitterpated for spring. (also: frisky!)
-i want to get better on focusing, following through, and not looking at the internet constantly (this entry is a testament to how much i have not been doing that)
-friday is the last day of the rest of my life. it's time for everything to change again.