i've floated so long on this sea it almost feels like home

[mywastedemotion]

i'd rather have you hate me
than for you to understand.
apart in life, so close in dreams,
as i lie awake in fantasy.
i die slowly while faking to live.
i see only what i want to believe.
i sleep through my sunrise
just to dream of your sunset.
i crave this misery, my aching heart.
i know i will never have you.
i've floated so long on this sea
it almost feels like home.
now, with no more dreams to feed my bones
and no more will to call my own,
i fall forward, hard, onto the pavement.
the sting and hurt slam together as one.
i bleed. i feel it. do you know what i mean?
the pain uprooted - it will never go away -
and this scar, a reminder - i will never heal.