Analysis of a failed career
Ah, Monsieur Coolio.What went wrong?Did you keep the stupid haircut too long?Was it the pressure of trying to top "Gangsta's Paradise"?Was it the "game" was changing?No.It was you, and maybe some of the hair.You see, people forget Coolio, people laugh at Coolio.You see, Coolsy, you just kept going when you could've walked out with grace.Goofy hair, a one hit wonder, tall and lanky, sound familiar?
Dear sweet Gumby, sorry but looks like your career dried up with the Silly Doh you were me out of; and why the hell were you friends with a Pony?
Michael Richards.What a shame, this one pains me, but you went from being on perhaps the greatest show of all time, to who the fuck knows.You had to go and ride the coat tails of the success of "Kramer" didn't you?Oh well, I guess it's not completely your fault, "The Michael Richards Show" was doomed when Tim Meadows was cast.
Now, I know celebrities often read this, so let me "confront" you :
Oh, what are you shrugging for Hilary, did all your belongings get Repo'd?If not, then get those shoulders warmed up, because you're going to be doing this pose again very soon, because by the time you're 20 you'll be an MC Hammer, sorry toots.
Stifmeister.Tsk tsk.Enjoy this last wave of success, because theres some coral reef coming known as unemployment that you will inevitably crash into.Your career, like that pie(oh I went there)is fucked.
I could go on for hours, days, maybe months about who Tinsletown's next failure(s) will be.We may never see you at your best, or at all, but theres always E!True Hollywood Story, Behind the Music, and "back in the day"themed events on the radio
P.S. This is the first time I've used the term "Tinsletown", but I thought I'd sound "inside" or something I guess?