The truth..
Okay, I think it's time I put this to rest once and for all.
This has been eating away at me for the past few years, and quite frankly, I'm amazed I even went this long actually lying about something.
Yes, I lied about something and I'm confessing the truth about it.
Some of you already know the truth, so you don't have to read on. But for those unaware, you all know my school situation. I dropped highschool when I didn't like how things were going.
Yeah, not completely true.
The thing is, during my highschool years, I was always in the ninth grade. I was held back for two and a half years. It was no one else's fault but my own. Things got too hard and I simply gave up. I didn't think too much into it. But I just gave up. Nothing made sense to me and I didn't bother trying to get help for it. I just flat out gave up and refused to be helped because I felt I still wouldn't understand anything no matter how many times my subjects were explained to me.
The only class I was passing was graphic arts and that was because it was the only class I actually worked at. It involved a computer. It involved the internet. And it involved using Photoshop. I passed the class with flying colors and my teacher saw me as one of his best, if not the best, students (and I'm quoting his opinion, not my own in some egotistical manner).
I was fooling my parents into thinking I was passing and going on to the next grades with no problem. I never told them anything. ..I really should have listened to my friends. They urged me to get help and to try to shape up. I just shrugged them off and continue to not care. At the time, I figured it was all pointless and that no matter what I did, I wouldn't be able to pass anyways. Heh..even my Psychiatry teacher said I should just get the hell out of school and get my G.E.D. Talk about trying to encourage your students, huh?
On the first half of the third year, I got called into the office by my counselor. She told me that because of my age and the grade I was in and the grades I was getting, there'd be no way I'd be able to graduate. My parents were called in and I was told that I had the option of being pulled out of school and taking night classes. Then I remembered what my teacher said and brought it up. Needless to say, I got her in trouble for that one. >_>; If I took night classes, I'd be able to go to the 12th grade in one year. So I opted for the night classes.
I was out of school sometime in October or November. Night school began in January. I was doing fairly well. I had four classes per night. I was in at 4pm and out by 10pm. Or something like that. Can't really remember the schedule. Things were going smoothly. 'till I had to take Science class. I completely bombed that class. I told myself to work hard. To push myself. I just gave up like nothing. I knew that science and math weren't my strongest subjects and I just gave up in the middle of it. All I did was come to class and pretend I was working.
I passed the first half, except for science. Second half was where things got worse. I assumed that if I were to have taken night classes for a year, I'd be able to go back to regular classes. I was wrong. I had to take another semester of night school as well as summer school. This would mean I'd be spending my entire day and night at school for a year. And surely enough, my first class of the new semester was math.
I just completely gave up right even before going to class. I absolutely didn't like the knowledge of having to spend day and night in school for five days and one of those classes being my worst subject as well as repeating science. I would go on to school and just ditch classes. I spent the entire time roaming around the school and the hallways. I'd also spend a majority of the time in the school library on the computer. That's how it was I spent my time speaking to some of you on AIM during my school times. I'd also spend time with one of my friends until she had to go on to class later in the night. She used to warn me about what I was doing and that I should stop and just start working again. I should've listened. :\
One day, my dad called the school to see how I was doing. They had told him that I had not even showed up for any of my classes that semester. Let's just say, I got a real bad yelling and threat to be kicked out, along with a really big punishment. The following days, I officially dropped out of highschool.
So as you can see, that's the entire truth right there. I dropped out of highschool because I didn't try. I gave up when things became too hard. I didn't bother getting help. Now I highly regret it all. It explains why I'm so damn persistant with things now. I can never forgive myself for what I did. And I don't think there's much I can do anymore now. I pretty much let my chances slip through my fingers because I was too damn lazy and unsure of myself and too stubborn to bother asking for help. People have suggested schools, but honestly, I don't want to do it again. School isn't for me. I know that if I were to go back to school, I'd just do the same thing all over again.
So there you have it. The explanation of the truth behind me dropping out of highschool and why I'm never going to college. I shouldn't have kept this a secret for so long nor should I have lied about it to most of you. :\ I felt completely awful about it and I really didn't want anyone to think any less of me. Though I guess now that the truth's out, there won't be any stopping that. ._.
Sorry, everyone.
This has been eating away at me for the past few years, and quite frankly, I'm amazed I even went this long actually lying about something.
Yes, I lied about something and I'm confessing the truth about it.
Some of you already know the truth, so you don't have to read on. But for those unaware, you all know my school situation. I dropped highschool when I didn't like how things were going.
Yeah, not completely true.
The thing is, during my highschool years, I was always in the ninth grade. I was held back for two and a half years. It was no one else's fault but my own. Things got too hard and I simply gave up. I didn't think too much into it. But I just gave up. Nothing made sense to me and I didn't bother trying to get help for it. I just flat out gave up and refused to be helped because I felt I still wouldn't understand anything no matter how many times my subjects were explained to me.
The only class I was passing was graphic arts and that was because it was the only class I actually worked at. It involved a computer. It involved the internet. And it involved using Photoshop. I passed the class with flying colors and my teacher saw me as one of his best, if not the best, students (and I'm quoting his opinion, not my own in some egotistical manner).
I was fooling my parents into thinking I was passing and going on to the next grades with no problem. I never told them anything. ..I really should have listened to my friends. They urged me to get help and to try to shape up. I just shrugged them off and continue to not care. At the time, I figured it was all pointless and that no matter what I did, I wouldn't be able to pass anyways. Heh..even my Psychiatry teacher said I should just get the hell out of school and get my G.E.D. Talk about trying to encourage your students, huh?
On the first half of the third year, I got called into the office by my counselor. She told me that because of my age and the grade I was in and the grades I was getting, there'd be no way I'd be able to graduate. My parents were called in and I was told that I had the option of being pulled out of school and taking night classes. Then I remembered what my teacher said and brought it up. Needless to say, I got her in trouble for that one. >_>; If I took night classes, I'd be able to go to the 12th grade in one year. So I opted for the night classes.
I was out of school sometime in October or November. Night school began in January. I was doing fairly well. I had four classes per night. I was in at 4pm and out by 10pm. Or something like that. Can't really remember the schedule. Things were going smoothly. 'till I had to take Science class. I completely bombed that class. I told myself to work hard. To push myself. I just gave up like nothing. I knew that science and math weren't my strongest subjects and I just gave up in the middle of it. All I did was come to class and pretend I was working.
I passed the first half, except for science. Second half was where things got worse. I assumed that if I were to have taken night classes for a year, I'd be able to go back to regular classes. I was wrong. I had to take another semester of night school as well as summer school. This would mean I'd be spending my entire day and night at school for a year. And surely enough, my first class of the new semester was math.
I just completely gave up right even before going to class. I absolutely didn't like the knowledge of having to spend day and night in school for five days and one of those classes being my worst subject as well as repeating science. I would go on to school and just ditch classes. I spent the entire time roaming around the school and the hallways. I'd also spend a majority of the time in the school library on the computer. That's how it was I spent my time speaking to some of you on AIM during my school times. I'd also spend time with one of my friends until she had to go on to class later in the night. She used to warn me about what I was doing and that I should stop and just start working again. I should've listened. :\
One day, my dad called the school to see how I was doing. They had told him that I had not even showed up for any of my classes that semester. Let's just say, I got a real bad yelling and threat to be kicked out, along with a really big punishment. The following days, I officially dropped out of highschool.
So as you can see, that's the entire truth right there. I dropped out of highschool because I didn't try. I gave up when things became too hard. I didn't bother getting help. Now I highly regret it all. It explains why I'm so damn persistant with things now. I can never forgive myself for what I did. And I don't think there's much I can do anymore now. I pretty much let my chances slip through my fingers because I was too damn lazy and unsure of myself and too stubborn to bother asking for help. People have suggested schools, but honestly, I don't want to do it again. School isn't for me. I know that if I were to go back to school, I'd just do the same thing all over again.
So there you have it. The explanation of the truth behind me dropping out of highschool and why I'm never going to college. I shouldn't have kept this a secret for so long nor should I have lied about it to most of you. :\ I felt completely awful about it and I really didn't want anyone to think any less of me. Though I guess now that the truth's out, there won't be any stopping that. ._.
Sorry, everyone.