who knows which way the wind'll blow
focus is an impossibility.
my dreams are full of suffering, bloodshed, and hauntings. recently i have been reading a lot of material on the holocaust, watching crime shows, and missing home but somehow it still doesn't measure up. especially disturbing are the images that play in my mind spontaneously when i'm in the sitting in class, taking an exam, or walking around campus.
tj is coming to visit this weekend. he's been having some minor car trouble lately and i am extremely worried about this trip. i just have this feeling something bad is going to happen. is that illogical? my fear just seems to be consuming me lately.
i want a's so badly but i can not focus or study. and i care when i think about the end result but my eyes just glide over the papers the texts the unused highlighter...
i slept so much this week but during the day. it's the only time i can sleep, night is my thinking time.
i just miss the old comforts of home. and tj. and when ciro used to crawl up and sleep on my feet; i mean i even miss the little bites through the covers, the nibbling of the toes from the rambunctious kitty.
i am not in a bad way, though. i am not sad, just sentimental and kind of apathetic feelnig? after this week's round of testing is over i'll probably be over it. oh yeah, seeing tj will probably help too.
when i'm awake around 2am i have so many ambitions, like writing a book or even writing an entry on here. good, fluid writing comes to me at that time and i want nothing more than to make some coffee and just write or explore. but instead i plug into my ipod, drown myself in melody and make myself conform to sleeping at the appropriate times. the dark appeals to me though. my thoughts are easier to see at night. could it be the moonlight extracts the truth from me?
maybe i am a werewolf.
my dreams are full of suffering, bloodshed, and hauntings. recently i have been reading a lot of material on the holocaust, watching crime shows, and missing home but somehow it still doesn't measure up. especially disturbing are the images that play in my mind spontaneously when i'm in the sitting in class, taking an exam, or walking around campus.
tj is coming to visit this weekend. he's been having some minor car trouble lately and i am extremely worried about this trip. i just have this feeling something bad is going to happen. is that illogical? my fear just seems to be consuming me lately.
i want a's so badly but i can not focus or study. and i care when i think about the end result but my eyes just glide over the papers the texts the unused highlighter...
i slept so much this week but during the day. it's the only time i can sleep, night is my thinking time.
i just miss the old comforts of home. and tj. and when ciro used to crawl up and sleep on my feet; i mean i even miss the little bites through the covers, the nibbling of the toes from the rambunctious kitty.
i am not in a bad way, though. i am not sad, just sentimental and kind of apathetic feelnig? after this week's round of testing is over i'll probably be over it. oh yeah, seeing tj will probably help too.
when i'm awake around 2am i have so many ambitions, like writing a book or even writing an entry on here. good, fluid writing comes to me at that time and i want nothing more than to make some coffee and just write or explore. but instead i plug into my ipod, drown myself in melody and make myself conform to sleeping at the appropriate times. the dark appeals to me though. my thoughts are easier to see at night. could it be the moonlight extracts the truth from me?
maybe i am a werewolf.