Whoawhoa--what?
Okay. What's going on here? I wake up in a strange room in a strange house that's most definitely not in Ohio, and I can tell because Ohio sucks and doesn't look like what I can see from this window--and there's this thing that looks like the computers from the lab at school only...all high speed, low drag. And stuff like this doesn't exist, unless--
I'm not being held hostage, am I? By a government organization or anything? I'm only 13, what would I know about anything important? My parents won't pay the ransom, I guarantee you that much. "when I was a kid we escaped from bad guys ourselves", dad'll say. "any true Irish lad wouldn't let something as trivial as a grownup with a gun stop him."
Your advice is truly timeless, dad. Thanks.
At least this door has a lock. Break it, I dare you. Really. I can be annoying to the point that you'll want to give me back.
....huh, this Internet dealie is pretty fast. At least I'll have something to do while trying to get outta here in one piece.