A Swell Party - 8/13 - PG
Title: A Swell Party 8/13
Fandom: Doctor Who/Jeeves and Wooster crossover
Rating: PG
Summary: Following a signal, the trio find themselves in the quaint time of Jeeves and Wooster. Unfortunately, getting their hands on what they're after isn't as easy as they might expect. Eventual 9/Rose/Jack
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
“Finn’ck Henn’dr’son,” the Doctor read, when the appropriate file came up. “Arrested early twentieth-century England - ”
“Oh, and look, I’ve not been credited with it,” Jack drawled. “And to think, I thought they cared.”
“ ‘Arrested for smuggling non-contemporaneous’ - oh God, you lot were right up yourselves, weren’t you?” The Doctor broke off to glance at Jack. “ ‘Non-contemporaneous’. Bloody hell.”
“’S supposed to make us sound clever,” Jack told him with a grin.
The Doctor snorted derisively and went back to reading.
“ ‘Smuggling non-contemporaneous technology to known dealers via the connections of the eldest daughter of the family, Honoria Glossop.’”
“Ha!” Jack crowed, almost relieved. “I knew there had to have been a reason I was after her last time!”
“You mean she didn’t simply bowl you over?” the Doctor asked innocently.
“If she did,” Jack shot back. “It probably wasn’t in a nice way. You know me - I’d never use a line like ‘Amazon Queen’ if I really wanted to get someone into bed.”
“Wouldn’t you?” the Doctor said lightly, not quite managing to hide his grin. “I’m disappointed. I’d gotten quite fond of the idea that you sat in your room and practiced all the cheesy chat-up lines you were planning on using.”
“Sorry to disappoint,” Jack said with a wicked grin, his hand on the Doctor’s shoulder shifting from friendly pressure to something else. “The kinda stuff I practice generally requires at least one other participant. I could demonstrate if you’d like…”
“I wonder what you’d do,” the Doctor mused idly, straightening up. “If I said yes.”
He shot Jack a glance that was part amusement, part mischief and part something else.
“G’night Captain,” he said cheerfully, turning and heading out of the room. “Don’t stay up too late now; you’ve got a busy day of pretending to be engaged tomorrow.” He flashed a grin over his shoulder and disappeared.
-----
After he’d had his second cup of tea, Bertie felt awake enough to address Jeeves, who was making the preparations for the day.
“I hardly slept last night, Jeeves,” he said morosely. “I felt like a man facing a death sentence. And even that’d be preferable to ‘wedded bliss’ with Honoria Glossop.”
“Do not be too disheartened, sir,” Jeeves said calmly, coming in from the bathroom. Steam from the newly-run bath billowed around him, giving him the appearance of a benevolent deity taking pity on a poor lost peon. “After some thought last night, I believe that I have a plan which may prove suitable.”
“Tell, Jeeves, tell!” Bertie cried. “Don’t toy with me when I’m faced with the fate of Glossop.”
“Well, sir, I imagine the best way to separate Captain Harkness and Miss Tyler would be to engage Miss Tyler’s affections elsewhere.”
“Jeeves,” Bertie said seriously, after a pause. “You have seen Captain Harkness, haven’t you? You haven’t, by some chance, managed to overlook him?”
“I am aware, sir, that Captain Harkness is decidedly blessed in certain areas.”
“The man looks like he’s escaped from the movies!” Bertie wailed. “If I were a woman, I wouldn’t give him up! What makes you think we’ll be able to coax Miss Tyler away from him short of running his face into a wall?”
“I had the opportunity of observing their behaviour at dinner last night, sir, and I was struck again at the strength of the attraction there seems to be between Miss Tyler and the Doctor. I am laying out the Harris tweed suit, sir.”
“The Doctor?” Bertie repeated. “We’re going to try and nudge Miss Tyler towards him, then? Won’t that rather…muck up their friendship? The three of them seem dashed chummy.”
“While a regrettable side effect, sir, it will doubtless be best for the situation. I fancy that Captain Harkness, somewhat grief stricken by the ending of his engagement and feeling rather betrayed, would perhaps be more easily persuaded to marry Miss Glossop.”
“I say, Jeeves!” Bertie said, staring at the man in awe. “You really are a marvel. But - what about Mr Little?”
“I fancy, sir, that Mr Little will unfortunately lose out somewhat in this venture. While he is probably the more admirable of the two gentlemen, it will be easier to sway Miss Tyler where there is already an attraction.”
“You don’t like the Doctor, do you Jeeves?” Bertie asked with a grin.
“I find him somewhat unsettling, yes, sir.”
“Is it because he doesn’t dress to your liking?”
Jeeves’ face took on a distinctly disapproving cast as he gathered up the tea things.
“I asked him last night if he would be changing for dinner,” he said coolly. “He said he had changed, then demanded what, precisely, was wrong with his jumper. I did not think it my place to respond. Will there be anything else, sir?”
“Not at the moment,” Bertie said with amusement.
“Very good, sir.”
-----
“So…” Rose said slowly, after the Doctor and Jack had told her what they’d found last night. “That means…?”
“There’s some tech still floating around,” Jack said. “And it’s something important enough that Henderson left a signal so he’d be able to find it again.”
“And Honoria’s got it,” Rose said.
“That’s what we’re guessing.”
“So someone needs to get close to Honoria.”
The Doctor and Jack shared a look, then smiled sweetly at Rose.
“Oooh no.” Rose held up her hands. “No no. No! She’s out for my blood since she thinks I stole Jack from her!”
“You’re the only one she can’t try to bully into a wedding,” the Doctor said, highly amused. “Well, she could, but King and Country wouldn’t be too impressed.”
“She looks like she swings that way,” Jack added. “You never know, you might be her type.”
“She’s bloody well not mine!” Rose cried.
“Don’t worry,” Jack chuckled. “You’re taken, remember?”
“How could we forget?” The Doctor muttered, sharing a grin with Rose.
Jack rolled his eyes and held his arm out for Rose, following the Doctor out of the TARDIS.
As they headed towards the doors of the house, two figures came out and nearly bumped into them.
“Oops, sorry there,” said one, as they sorted themselves out.
“Oh, you must be those chaps that Bertie was on about,” said the other. “Jolly nice to meet you. I’m Claude.”
“I’m Eustace,” said the first, grinning at Rose. “We’re Bertie’s cousins.”
“Twins,” Jack said, with a grin. Rose squeezed his arm pointedly.
“You’re taken,” Rose muttered.
“I can still look, can’t I?” he muttered back.
“You here for Angela’s party then?” Claude asked.
“Something like that,” the Doctor said. “More…business than pleasure.”
“I hear you’ve been hanging around Aunt Agatha,” Eustace said consolingly, patting the Doctor on the shoulder. “I didn’t think pleasure came anywhere into it.”
“Didn’t realise we were a topic of conversation.” The Doctor glanced at Jack and Rose with a raised eyebrow.
“Why not?” Jack grinned back. “We’re very interesting.”
“And we’re nosy,” Claude said cheerfully. “Carry on causing scandals, please. It’s frightfully entertaining for us - Market Snodsbury’s normally dashed boring.”
And with that, they disappeared.
“Twins,” Jack said again, with a grin. Rose elbowed him in the ribs.
-----
Fandom: Doctor Who/Jeeves and Wooster crossover
Rating: PG
Summary: Following a signal, the trio find themselves in the quaint time of Jeeves and Wooster. Unfortunately, getting their hands on what they're after isn't as easy as they might expect. Eventual 9/Rose/Jack
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
“Finn’ck Henn’dr’son,” the Doctor read, when the appropriate file came up. “Arrested early twentieth-century England - ”
“Oh, and look, I’ve not been credited with it,” Jack drawled. “And to think, I thought they cared.”
“ ‘Arrested for smuggling non-contemporaneous’ - oh God, you lot were right up yourselves, weren’t you?” The Doctor broke off to glance at Jack. “ ‘Non-contemporaneous’. Bloody hell.”
“’S supposed to make us sound clever,” Jack told him with a grin.
The Doctor snorted derisively and went back to reading.
“ ‘Smuggling non-contemporaneous technology to known dealers via the connections of the eldest daughter of the family, Honoria Glossop.’”
“Ha!” Jack crowed, almost relieved. “I knew there had to have been a reason I was after her last time!”
“You mean she didn’t simply bowl you over?” the Doctor asked innocently.
“If she did,” Jack shot back. “It probably wasn’t in a nice way. You know me - I’d never use a line like ‘Amazon Queen’ if I really wanted to get someone into bed.”
“Wouldn’t you?” the Doctor said lightly, not quite managing to hide his grin. “I’m disappointed. I’d gotten quite fond of the idea that you sat in your room and practiced all the cheesy chat-up lines you were planning on using.”
“Sorry to disappoint,” Jack said with a wicked grin, his hand on the Doctor’s shoulder shifting from friendly pressure to something else. “The kinda stuff I practice generally requires at least one other participant. I could demonstrate if you’d like…”
“I wonder what you’d do,” the Doctor mused idly, straightening up. “If I said yes.”
He shot Jack a glance that was part amusement, part mischief and part something else.
“G’night Captain,” he said cheerfully, turning and heading out of the room. “Don’t stay up too late now; you’ve got a busy day of pretending to be engaged tomorrow.” He flashed a grin over his shoulder and disappeared.
-----
After he’d had his second cup of tea, Bertie felt awake enough to address Jeeves, who was making the preparations for the day.
“I hardly slept last night, Jeeves,” he said morosely. “I felt like a man facing a death sentence. And even that’d be preferable to ‘wedded bliss’ with Honoria Glossop.”
“Do not be too disheartened, sir,” Jeeves said calmly, coming in from the bathroom. Steam from the newly-run bath billowed around him, giving him the appearance of a benevolent deity taking pity on a poor lost peon. “After some thought last night, I believe that I have a plan which may prove suitable.”
“Tell, Jeeves, tell!” Bertie cried. “Don’t toy with me when I’m faced with the fate of Glossop.”
“Well, sir, I imagine the best way to separate Captain Harkness and Miss Tyler would be to engage Miss Tyler’s affections elsewhere.”
“Jeeves,” Bertie said seriously, after a pause. “You have seen Captain Harkness, haven’t you? You haven’t, by some chance, managed to overlook him?”
“I am aware, sir, that Captain Harkness is decidedly blessed in certain areas.”
“The man looks like he’s escaped from the movies!” Bertie wailed. “If I were a woman, I wouldn’t give him up! What makes you think we’ll be able to coax Miss Tyler away from him short of running his face into a wall?”
“I had the opportunity of observing their behaviour at dinner last night, sir, and I was struck again at the strength of the attraction there seems to be between Miss Tyler and the Doctor. I am laying out the Harris tweed suit, sir.”
“The Doctor?” Bertie repeated. “We’re going to try and nudge Miss Tyler towards him, then? Won’t that rather…muck up their friendship? The three of them seem dashed chummy.”
“While a regrettable side effect, sir, it will doubtless be best for the situation. I fancy that Captain Harkness, somewhat grief stricken by the ending of his engagement and feeling rather betrayed, would perhaps be more easily persuaded to marry Miss Glossop.”
“I say, Jeeves!” Bertie said, staring at the man in awe. “You really are a marvel. But - what about Mr Little?”
“I fancy, sir, that Mr Little will unfortunately lose out somewhat in this venture. While he is probably the more admirable of the two gentlemen, it will be easier to sway Miss Tyler where there is already an attraction.”
“You don’t like the Doctor, do you Jeeves?” Bertie asked with a grin.
“I find him somewhat unsettling, yes, sir.”
“Is it because he doesn’t dress to your liking?”
Jeeves’ face took on a distinctly disapproving cast as he gathered up the tea things.
“I asked him last night if he would be changing for dinner,” he said coolly. “He said he had changed, then demanded what, precisely, was wrong with his jumper. I did not think it my place to respond. Will there be anything else, sir?”
“Not at the moment,” Bertie said with amusement.
“Very good, sir.”
-----
“So…” Rose said slowly, after the Doctor and Jack had told her what they’d found last night. “That means…?”
“There’s some tech still floating around,” Jack said. “And it’s something important enough that Henderson left a signal so he’d be able to find it again.”
“And Honoria’s got it,” Rose said.
“That’s what we’re guessing.”
“So someone needs to get close to Honoria.”
The Doctor and Jack shared a look, then smiled sweetly at Rose.
“Oooh no.” Rose held up her hands. “No no. No! She’s out for my blood since she thinks I stole Jack from her!”
“You’re the only one she can’t try to bully into a wedding,” the Doctor said, highly amused. “Well, she could, but King and Country wouldn’t be too impressed.”
“She looks like she swings that way,” Jack added. “You never know, you might be her type.”
“She’s bloody well not mine!” Rose cried.
“Don’t worry,” Jack chuckled. “You’re taken, remember?”
“How could we forget?” The Doctor muttered, sharing a grin with Rose.
Jack rolled his eyes and held his arm out for Rose, following the Doctor out of the TARDIS.
As they headed towards the doors of the house, two figures came out and nearly bumped into them.
“Oops, sorry there,” said one, as they sorted themselves out.
“Oh, you must be those chaps that Bertie was on about,” said the other. “Jolly nice to meet you. I’m Claude.”
“I’m Eustace,” said the first, grinning at Rose. “We’re Bertie’s cousins.”
“Twins,” Jack said, with a grin. Rose squeezed his arm pointedly.
“You’re taken,” Rose muttered.
“I can still look, can’t I?” he muttered back.
“You here for Angela’s party then?” Claude asked.
“Something like that,” the Doctor said. “More…business than pleasure.”
“I hear you’ve been hanging around Aunt Agatha,” Eustace said consolingly, patting the Doctor on the shoulder. “I didn’t think pleasure came anywhere into it.”
“Didn’t realise we were a topic of conversation.” The Doctor glanced at Jack and Rose with a raised eyebrow.
“Why not?” Jack grinned back. “We’re very interesting.”
“And we’re nosy,” Claude said cheerfully. “Carry on causing scandals, please. It’s frightfully entertaining for us - Market Snodsbury’s normally dashed boring.”
And with that, they disappeared.
“Twins,” Jack said again, with a grin. Rose elbowed him in the ribs.
-----