A Swell Party - 6/13 - PG
Title: A Swell Party 6/13
Fandom: Doctor Who/Jeeves and Wooster crossover
Rating: PG
Summary: Following a signal, the trio find themselves in the quaint time of Jeeves and Wooster. Unfortunately, getting their hands on what they're after isn't as easy as they might expect. Eventual 9/Rose/Jack
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
“-And where did you even get an engagement ring?!” Rose demanded.
They were back in the TARDIS, and Jack was looking suitably contrite, leaning on the rail around the control panel. The Doctor was sitting in the control chair, rolling his stress-ball-thing between his hands and glaring at Jack as if contemplating throwing the item at his head.
“I always carry one,” Jack said. “Just in case - you’d be surprised how often you’d need one.”
“ ‘Just in case’?!” Rose echoed in disbelief. “When is an engagement ring ‘just in case’?!”
“When your name’s Jack Harkness,” the Doctor bit out, still glaring at Jack.
“What, you’d rather I’d just led her on and scarpered when we were done?” Jack snapped.
“Isn’t that what you usually do?” the Doctor asked coldly. Jack flinched almost imperceptibly.
“Not since there was a chance of me ending up stranded if I did something you disapproved of,” the American shot back. “Besides, at least this way that ‘pretty boy’ of hers that you’re so jealous of will leave her alone.”
“What makes you think you’re any better than he is?” the Doctor retorted snidely.
“I’ve accepted the fact that she’s off-limits,” Jack replied, equally snidely. “That’s something you’ve made pretty damn clear since I got here.”
“She’s standing right here,” Rose reminded them, with a grimly sweet smile. “And, much as I hate to admit it, Jack’s right.”
Jack and the Doctor both stared at her.
“If we do this,” she elaborated. “Jack and I get rid of Honoria and Bingo, everyone’s happy when we leave. But,” she added, glaring at Jack. “Since you didn’t bother to ask, we’re doing this my way.”
“Yes ma’am,” Jack said, a small grin tugging at his lips. “I always did like a controlling woman.”
Rose couldn’t help an answering grin, and she looked at the Doctor, raising her eyebrows expectantly. He glared back at her for a moment, before huffing out a defeated sigh and grinning as well.
“Right then!” she crowed, clapping her hands. “Back to business!”
“Right!” the Doctor agreed, leaping to his feet and pulling out his sonic screwdriver. He transferred the reading from it onto the control panel and brought it up on screen. “This is what’s being transmitted.”
Jack and Rose circled round to squint over his shoulders.
“What is it?” Rose asked finally.
“Co-ordinates,” the Doctor said.
“To what?”
“That.” The Doctor grinned at her. “Is the question.”
“I’ve got some info,” Jack piped up. “Last time I was here, I was with the Time Agency.”
“How can you tell?”
“A couple of days before I left - the groundskeeper at Ditteredge left. Guy called ‘Henderson’.” He grinned. “Apparently he was a tall guy. Skinny, very pale hair and creepy eyes. Looked sick.”
“…Tonnian,” the Doctor said, his grin broadening impossibly.
“Tonnian,” Jack agreed. “And I left pretty soon afterwards, I gather, so it must’ve been Time Agency business. They gave us a couple of days to tie up our affairs, then we were off. That means the details should be…”
“In the Time Agency case files!” The Doctor let out a triumphant cackle and clapped Jack on the shoulder. “I can almost forgive you for being you,” he said.
“Almost?” Jack raised an eyebrow. “You mean this isn’t enough for you?”
“I’m a little harder work than that,”he chuckled, and turned back to the console. “Right! Hacking for dummies…”
-----
“I suppose you’ve heard the news, Jeeves,” Bertie said, as he dressed for dinner.
“Which news would that be, sir?” Jeeves asked, helping Bertie into his waistcoat.
“About Captain Harkness and Miss Tyler.”
“Yes, sir. I had been informed of the circumstances.”
“A bit rummy, isn’t it?” Bertie commented, doing up his bowtie with a thoughtful frown. “I thought you said it was the Doctor who had his eye on Miss Tyler.”
“That was what I had originally assumed, sir.” Jeeves held out Bertie’s jacket for him. “However it is not unknown for such a situation to be mistaken due to the intricacies of the emotions involved.”
“Quite right, quite right,” Bertie agreed, shrugging into his jacket and straightening it, while Jeeves brushed down the back and shoulders. “Still, Mr Little’s devastated, and Miss Glossop’s mad as hellfire.”
“So I can imagine, sir.” Jeeves stepped back. “Mrs Spencer-Gregson expressed a wish to conference with you before dinner, sir.”
“Did she now?” Bertie raised an eyebrow. “That’s not like her. Normally she’d make me sit through dinner and stew - let the food turn to ash in my mouth, that sort of thing. Draw out the torture.” He paused, as something occurred to him. “Oh blast, she must have something truly unbearable planned.”
“I think it very likely, sir.”
“Well.” Bertie drew in a deep breath. “Wish me luck, Jeeves.”
“Good luck, sir.”
-----
“Bertie,” Agatha said severely, glaring at him in her mirror as she dressed her hair for dinner. Bertie shifted uncomfortably behind her, the reflection doing nothing to lessen her formidable countenance. “You must of course be aware of the travesty that took place this afternoon?”
“Travesty?” Bertie asked. “I can’t say I am, Aunt Agatha, although I’m dashed sorry I missed it.”
“I am talking of Captain Harkness and Miss Tyler,” Agatha continued wrathfully.
“Oh,” Bertie said. “That travesty. Righto.”
“That man is worthless,” Agatha declared. “But poor Honoria thinks he’s wonderful, and it gives me pains, Bertie, great pains, to see the dear girl so heartsick.”
Bertie was privately of the opinion that to be heartsick, you had to first have a heart, and he had yet to see proof of one in Honoria, but he kept that feeling to himself.
“This is what you will do,” Agatha said, turning to face him. The force of her glower nearly knocked Bertie off his feet. “You will break up this mockery of an engagement between Captain Harkness and Miss Tyler, and see that Captain Harkness marries Honoria.”
“I say, Aunt Agatha!” Bertie expostulated. “Now really!”
“Because if Captain Harkness doesn’t marry Honoria, Bertie, then you will.”
Bertie opened his mouth to protest, took one look at Agatha’s face, and closed it again sharpish.
“Righto, Aunt Agatha,” he said finally. “I’ll…er…hop to it then.”
-----
Fandom: Doctor Who/Jeeves and Wooster crossover
Rating: PG
Summary: Following a signal, the trio find themselves in the quaint time of Jeeves and Wooster. Unfortunately, getting their hands on what they're after isn't as easy as they might expect. Eventual 9/Rose/Jack
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
“-And where did you even get an engagement ring?!” Rose demanded.
They were back in the TARDIS, and Jack was looking suitably contrite, leaning on the rail around the control panel. The Doctor was sitting in the control chair, rolling his stress-ball-thing between his hands and glaring at Jack as if contemplating throwing the item at his head.
“I always carry one,” Jack said. “Just in case - you’d be surprised how often you’d need one.”
“ ‘Just in case’?!” Rose echoed in disbelief. “When is an engagement ring ‘just in case’?!”
“When your name’s Jack Harkness,” the Doctor bit out, still glaring at Jack.
“What, you’d rather I’d just led her on and scarpered when we were done?” Jack snapped.
“Isn’t that what you usually do?” the Doctor asked coldly. Jack flinched almost imperceptibly.
“Not since there was a chance of me ending up stranded if I did something you disapproved of,” the American shot back. “Besides, at least this way that ‘pretty boy’ of hers that you’re so jealous of will leave her alone.”
“What makes you think you’re any better than he is?” the Doctor retorted snidely.
“I’ve accepted the fact that she’s off-limits,” Jack replied, equally snidely. “That’s something you’ve made pretty damn clear since I got here.”
“She’s standing right here,” Rose reminded them, with a grimly sweet smile. “And, much as I hate to admit it, Jack’s right.”
Jack and the Doctor both stared at her.
“If we do this,” she elaborated. “Jack and I get rid of Honoria and Bingo, everyone’s happy when we leave. But,” she added, glaring at Jack. “Since you didn’t bother to ask, we’re doing this my way.”
“Yes ma’am,” Jack said, a small grin tugging at his lips. “I always did like a controlling woman.”
Rose couldn’t help an answering grin, and she looked at the Doctor, raising her eyebrows expectantly. He glared back at her for a moment, before huffing out a defeated sigh and grinning as well.
“Right then!” she crowed, clapping her hands. “Back to business!”
“Right!” the Doctor agreed, leaping to his feet and pulling out his sonic screwdriver. He transferred the reading from it onto the control panel and brought it up on screen. “This is what’s being transmitted.”
Jack and Rose circled round to squint over his shoulders.
“What is it?” Rose asked finally.
“Co-ordinates,” the Doctor said.
“To what?”
“That.” The Doctor grinned at her. “Is the question.”
“I’ve got some info,” Jack piped up. “Last time I was here, I was with the Time Agency.”
“How can you tell?”
“A couple of days before I left - the groundskeeper at Ditteredge left. Guy called ‘Henderson’.” He grinned. “Apparently he was a tall guy. Skinny, very pale hair and creepy eyes. Looked sick.”
“…Tonnian,” the Doctor said, his grin broadening impossibly.
“Tonnian,” Jack agreed. “And I left pretty soon afterwards, I gather, so it must’ve been Time Agency business. They gave us a couple of days to tie up our affairs, then we were off. That means the details should be…”
“In the Time Agency case files!” The Doctor let out a triumphant cackle and clapped Jack on the shoulder. “I can almost forgive you for being you,” he said.
“Almost?” Jack raised an eyebrow. “You mean this isn’t enough for you?”
“I’m a little harder work than that,”he chuckled, and turned back to the console. “Right! Hacking for dummies…”
-----
“I suppose you’ve heard the news, Jeeves,” Bertie said, as he dressed for dinner.
“Which news would that be, sir?” Jeeves asked, helping Bertie into his waistcoat.
“About Captain Harkness and Miss Tyler.”
“Yes, sir. I had been informed of the circumstances.”
“A bit rummy, isn’t it?” Bertie commented, doing up his bowtie with a thoughtful frown. “I thought you said it was the Doctor who had his eye on Miss Tyler.”
“That was what I had originally assumed, sir.” Jeeves held out Bertie’s jacket for him. “However it is not unknown for such a situation to be mistaken due to the intricacies of the emotions involved.”
“Quite right, quite right,” Bertie agreed, shrugging into his jacket and straightening it, while Jeeves brushed down the back and shoulders. “Still, Mr Little’s devastated, and Miss Glossop’s mad as hellfire.”
“So I can imagine, sir.” Jeeves stepped back. “Mrs Spencer-Gregson expressed a wish to conference with you before dinner, sir.”
“Did she now?” Bertie raised an eyebrow. “That’s not like her. Normally she’d make me sit through dinner and stew - let the food turn to ash in my mouth, that sort of thing. Draw out the torture.” He paused, as something occurred to him. “Oh blast, she must have something truly unbearable planned.”
“I think it very likely, sir.”
“Well.” Bertie drew in a deep breath. “Wish me luck, Jeeves.”
“Good luck, sir.”
-----
“Bertie,” Agatha said severely, glaring at him in her mirror as she dressed her hair for dinner. Bertie shifted uncomfortably behind her, the reflection doing nothing to lessen her formidable countenance. “You must of course be aware of the travesty that took place this afternoon?”
“Travesty?” Bertie asked. “I can’t say I am, Aunt Agatha, although I’m dashed sorry I missed it.”
“I am talking of Captain Harkness and Miss Tyler,” Agatha continued wrathfully.
“Oh,” Bertie said. “That travesty. Righto.”
“That man is worthless,” Agatha declared. “But poor Honoria thinks he’s wonderful, and it gives me pains, Bertie, great pains, to see the dear girl so heartsick.”
Bertie was privately of the opinion that to be heartsick, you had to first have a heart, and he had yet to see proof of one in Honoria, but he kept that feeling to himself.
“This is what you will do,” Agatha said, turning to face him. The force of her glower nearly knocked Bertie off his feet. “You will break up this mockery of an engagement between Captain Harkness and Miss Tyler, and see that Captain Harkness marries Honoria.”
“I say, Aunt Agatha!” Bertie expostulated. “Now really!”
“Because if Captain Harkness doesn’t marry Honoria, Bertie, then you will.”
Bertie opened his mouth to protest, took one look at Agatha’s face, and closed it again sharpish.
“Righto, Aunt Agatha,” he said finally. “I’ll…er…hop to it then.”
-----