A Man About Townsville - 8/10
Title: A Man About Townsville - 8/10
Fandom: Powerpuff Girls, Torchwood
Rating: PG-13 (for innuendo and, well, Jack)
Summary: Torchwood sends Jack to investigate a top-class defence system in a small, out-of-the-way city. What he finds is rather unexpected. Jack/Professor Utonium, Jack/Him, one-sided Everyone/Jack. Utter utter crack.
Notes: Started ages ago for plsteward for the Jack Harkness Crossover Ficathon, and unfortunately neglected due to various personal issues. Sorry!
Part One //\\ Part Two //\\ Part 3 //\\ Part 4 //\\ Part 5 //\\ Part 6 //\\ Part 7
“The Boys must have taken him,” Mojo ranted, pacing up and down his lab as Princess sat in a chair and sulked. “That is, they must have absconded with our target whilst he and we slept, and taken him, that is our target, to Him, that is our rival in supervillainy.”
“The quethtion is,” Princess screeched. “What are you going to do about it?”
“Me?” Mojo demanded.
“Yeth,” Princess said. “You, thince thith ith your fault.”
Before Mojo could respond to that remark, there was an almighty crash and the Powerpuff Girls made their entrance through the ceiling.
“I really wish you would cease and desist from entering in that manner,” Mojo grouched at them. “By which I mean I would like you to stop crashing through my ceiling when you come here, as it is very time consuming to fix.”
“What do you want with Jack?!” Buttercup demanded, slamming Mojo up against the wall.
“Who is Jack?” he gasped out. “I do not know any person by this name, he is not familiar to me. Is he someone you know, Princess?”
“No,” Princess sneered, then yelped as Bubbles tipped her out of her chair. “Hey! What wath that for?”
“We know that you were after Jack,” Blossom said darkly. “We want to know what you’ve done with him.”
“I can only assume,” Mojo Jojo wheezed. “That by ‘Jack’ you are referring to your new, leather-jacketed ally, the man who I have seen helping you, aiding you in your thwarting of my ingenious and infallible plans for conquest of this miserable little city.”
“You can’t have him!” Princess wailed. “He’th mine!”
“Aha!” Buttercup cried. “So you do have him!”
Bubbles grabbed onto Princess’ bunches and yanked hard.
“Where is he?!” she growled.
“Thtop that!” Princess begged. “That’th not fair, I’m gonna tell my Daddy that you’re pulling hair!”
“We’d stop if you’d tell us where Jack is,” Blossom pointed out through gritted teeth.
“We do not know!” Mojo Jojo cried. “Neither of us is aware of his location, we are not educated as to his current whereabouts!”
“I don’t believe you!” Buttercup pulled back her fist, levelling it with Mojo’s face.
“But I can tell you who has him!” Mojo blurted quickly, bringing his hands up to try and protect himself.
“Do tell,” purred Blossom.
----
“How was that?” Jack asked stretching his arms above his head and letting out a satisfied sigh.
“I didn’t know it was possible to do things like that,” Him said blissfully, from where he was curled up beside Jack on the heart-shaped bed beneath the pink duvet. “You’re very flexible.”
“I keep myself limber,” Jack told him with a wink. “I have to say, I’ll never look at pincers in the same way again.”
“I’m not sure I will, either.”
-----
The Rowdyruff Boys chuckled loudly as they loitered around outside the entrance to Him’s lair. Butch let out a huge belch and they laughed even louder, throwing empty soda cans at each other.
“Oh boooyys…” came a teasing call, and they looked round to see Buttercup floating a little way away. “Nyeeeeehh!” She stuck her tongue out at them, blowing a lengthy raspberry and contorting her face, before flying off cackling.
“Hey!” Brick yelled. “You can’t do that!”
“Get her!” Butch cried.
The three of them zipped off after her, yelling for her to slow down so they could beat her, whilst she cackled with glee and sped up.
As soon as they were out of sight, Blossom and Bubbles silently made their way through the entrance, wary about any traps that Him might have set up.
-----
“So, what are you then?” Jack asked, buttoning up his shirt as he sat on the edge of the bed.
“What do you mean?” Him cocked his head to the side, looking puzzled.
Standing, Jack pulled his trousers on and ran his hand through his hair.
“What planet are you from? You look like you could be a distant relation to the Telma, and your psychic abilities could come from anywhere, but there’s so many different bits that I’d have to say you’re something new.”
“What planet am I from?” Him sat up and raised an eyebrow. “Was I that good? But I’m a creature of the Earth!” Him rolled onto his back and flourished dramatically.
Jack frowned, and opened his wrist-com.
“That can’t be - ”
But before he could finish his train of thought he found himself caught up by two pairs of hands and he was being carried through a series of technicolour passageways at breakneck speed. Craning his neck, Jack could see Buttercup holding one of his arms, Bubbles holding the other and Blossom trailing behind, giving cover fire with her eye lasers.
They burst out of Him’s lair, into blinding sunlight, over the Rowdyruff Boys who were stuck to a rock with what appeared to be chewing gum, and they kept going. Into the woods and deeper as the trees got thicker until they exploded into a clearing where a small cabin lay. Jack was dropped abruptly as the girls zipped into the cabin and shortly thereafter a large, pink, fluffy thing in dungarees was thrown out of the front door, bruised, unconscious and wrapped up in what appeared to be banjo strings.
The girls came back to take him inside.
“You should be safe in here for now,” Blossom said, setting him gently down in Fuzzy’s rocking chair and then hovering in front of him with her sisters, all three of them looking concerned. “He didn’t hurt you did he? Are you okay?”
Jack frowned at them, and then looked down at his wrist-com. It said that Him didn’t exist, that there was nothing to him. Frowning harder, Jack pressed a few buttons and the wrist-com re-focussed the scan. Then it produced an answer. Him was from Earth, inarguably so. He was able to transcend dimensions, making his first reading fuzzy, but only on Earth.
Jack scanned the girls. Their results came up quickly, and Jack frowned again.
There were mutations, some severe mutations, but the wrist-com was certain - they were human.
And then the door burst open and a gang of green teenagers stormed in.
-----
Fandom: Powerpuff Girls, Torchwood
Rating: PG-13 (for innuendo and, well, Jack)
Summary: Torchwood sends Jack to investigate a top-class defence system in a small, out-of-the-way city. What he finds is rather unexpected. Jack/Professor Utonium, Jack/Him, one-sided Everyone/Jack. Utter utter crack.
Notes: Started ages ago for plsteward for the Jack Harkness Crossover Ficathon, and unfortunately neglected due to various personal issues. Sorry!
Part One //\\ Part Two //\\ Part 3 //\\ Part 4 //\\ Part 5 //\\ Part 6 //\\ Part 7
“The Boys must have taken him,” Mojo ranted, pacing up and down his lab as Princess sat in a chair and sulked. “That is, they must have absconded with our target whilst he and we slept, and taken him, that is our target, to Him, that is our rival in supervillainy.”
“The quethtion is,” Princess screeched. “What are you going to do about it?”
“Me?” Mojo demanded.
“Yeth,” Princess said. “You, thince thith ith your fault.”
Before Mojo could respond to that remark, there was an almighty crash and the Powerpuff Girls made their entrance through the ceiling.
“I really wish you would cease and desist from entering in that manner,” Mojo grouched at them. “By which I mean I would like you to stop crashing through my ceiling when you come here, as it is very time consuming to fix.”
“What do you want with Jack?!” Buttercup demanded, slamming Mojo up against the wall.
“Who is Jack?” he gasped out. “I do not know any person by this name, he is not familiar to me. Is he someone you know, Princess?”
“No,” Princess sneered, then yelped as Bubbles tipped her out of her chair. “Hey! What wath that for?”
“We know that you were after Jack,” Blossom said darkly. “We want to know what you’ve done with him.”
“I can only assume,” Mojo Jojo wheezed. “That by ‘Jack’ you are referring to your new, leather-jacketed ally, the man who I have seen helping you, aiding you in your thwarting of my ingenious and infallible plans for conquest of this miserable little city.”
“You can’t have him!” Princess wailed. “He’th mine!”
“Aha!” Buttercup cried. “So you do have him!”
Bubbles grabbed onto Princess’ bunches and yanked hard.
“Where is he?!” she growled.
“Thtop that!” Princess begged. “That’th not fair, I’m gonna tell my Daddy that you’re pulling hair!”
“We’d stop if you’d tell us where Jack is,” Blossom pointed out through gritted teeth.
“We do not know!” Mojo Jojo cried. “Neither of us is aware of his location, we are not educated as to his current whereabouts!”
“I don’t believe you!” Buttercup pulled back her fist, levelling it with Mojo’s face.
“But I can tell you who has him!” Mojo blurted quickly, bringing his hands up to try and protect himself.
“Do tell,” purred Blossom.
----
“How was that?” Jack asked stretching his arms above his head and letting out a satisfied sigh.
“I didn’t know it was possible to do things like that,” Him said blissfully, from where he was curled up beside Jack on the heart-shaped bed beneath the pink duvet. “You’re very flexible.”
“I keep myself limber,” Jack told him with a wink. “I have to say, I’ll never look at pincers in the same way again.”
“I’m not sure I will, either.”
-----
The Rowdyruff Boys chuckled loudly as they loitered around outside the entrance to Him’s lair. Butch let out a huge belch and they laughed even louder, throwing empty soda cans at each other.
“Oh boooyys…” came a teasing call, and they looked round to see Buttercup floating a little way away. “Nyeeeeehh!” She stuck her tongue out at them, blowing a lengthy raspberry and contorting her face, before flying off cackling.
“Hey!” Brick yelled. “You can’t do that!”
“Get her!” Butch cried.
The three of them zipped off after her, yelling for her to slow down so they could beat her, whilst she cackled with glee and sped up.
As soon as they were out of sight, Blossom and Bubbles silently made their way through the entrance, wary about any traps that Him might have set up.
-----
“So, what are you then?” Jack asked, buttoning up his shirt as he sat on the edge of the bed.
“What do you mean?” Him cocked his head to the side, looking puzzled.
Standing, Jack pulled his trousers on and ran his hand through his hair.
“What planet are you from? You look like you could be a distant relation to the Telma, and your psychic abilities could come from anywhere, but there’s so many different bits that I’d have to say you’re something new.”
“What planet am I from?” Him sat up and raised an eyebrow. “Was I that good? But I’m a creature of the Earth!” Him rolled onto his back and flourished dramatically.
Jack frowned, and opened his wrist-com.
“That can’t be - ”
But before he could finish his train of thought he found himself caught up by two pairs of hands and he was being carried through a series of technicolour passageways at breakneck speed. Craning his neck, Jack could see Buttercup holding one of his arms, Bubbles holding the other and Blossom trailing behind, giving cover fire with her eye lasers.
They burst out of Him’s lair, into blinding sunlight, over the Rowdyruff Boys who were stuck to a rock with what appeared to be chewing gum, and they kept going. Into the woods and deeper as the trees got thicker until they exploded into a clearing where a small cabin lay. Jack was dropped abruptly as the girls zipped into the cabin and shortly thereafter a large, pink, fluffy thing in dungarees was thrown out of the front door, bruised, unconscious and wrapped up in what appeared to be banjo strings.
The girls came back to take him inside.
“You should be safe in here for now,” Blossom said, setting him gently down in Fuzzy’s rocking chair and then hovering in front of him with her sisters, all three of them looking concerned. “He didn’t hurt you did he? Are you okay?”
Jack frowned at them, and then looked down at his wrist-com. It said that Him didn’t exist, that there was nothing to him. Frowning harder, Jack pressed a few buttons and the wrist-com re-focussed the scan. Then it produced an answer. Him was from Earth, inarguably so. He was able to transcend dimensions, making his first reading fuzzy, but only on Earth.
Jack scanned the girls. Their results came up quickly, and Jack frowned again.
There were mutations, some severe mutations, but the wrist-com was certain - they were human.
And then the door burst open and a gang of green teenagers stormed in.
-----