A Man About Townsville - 4/8?
Title: A Man About Townsville - 4/8?
Fandom: Powerpuff Girls, Torchwood
Rating: PG-13 (for innuendo and, well, Jack)
Summary: Torchwood sends Jack to investigate a top-class defence system in a small, out-of-the-way city. What he finds is rather unexpected. Jack/Professor Utonium, Jack/Him, one-sided Everyone/Jack.
Notes: For plsteward for the Jack Harkness Crossover Ficathon.
Part One //\\ Part Two //\\ Part 3
Mojo Jojo scowled at the wall of his prison cell, shifting irritably in his itchy striped uniform.
He was not a happy monkey, and it was all the fault of those blasted Powerpuff Girls. And they had help now! He had recognised the man he had seen Blossom with as the police had dragged him off - that is to say he had seen the man before and had remembered him with enough clarity to be able to identify him again at a later date, that later date being today as he had been in the process of being arrested - by which he meant he had been taken into custody by the police and thrown into a prison cell because he had been found guilty of a crime, a crime being the doing of something which disagreed with the laws of this city and also the rest of the United States, although some laws differed between states, for example the interpretation of stalking was debated between some states...however his crime had not been stalking but rather the crime of breaking and entering and theft, or rather he had intended to break and enter but he had been stopped before he could commit his intended crime by those wretched Powerpuff Girls and their new ally. He knew this man was an ally because he had recognised him from when he had saved Buttercup not three days before!
The man in the leather jacket was therefore on the side of the Powerpuff Girls and as such Mojo Jojo's enemy!
The wall exploded just as his convoluted thought processes moved on to plotting exactly what was supposed to be done.
“Well?” Came an impatient, high-pitched, lispy voice. “Are you gonna jutht thit there or are you gonna ethcape?”
Mojo squinted through the slowly clearing cloud of dust.
“Princess?” he hazarded, seeing the outline of the tiny, snooty villain.
“Yeth,” she snapped. “Now get a move on. I haven’t got all day! Time ith money, you know!”
She pulled her pink fur coat tighter around her and toddled off, nose in the air. Mojo hurried after her, clambering into the limousine that was waiting a little way away.
“…Why are you helping me?” he asked, eyeing her suspiciously as the car screeched off.
“Becauthe I want your help,” she said, studying him in disgust. “Don’t think I’m here for fun or becauthe I like you or anything. Thith ith purely Buthineth.”
“Buthineth?” Mojo echoed with a slight, confused frown.
“Yeth. Buthineth. I need your help to defeat the Powerpuff Girlth.”
Mojo stared at her, then laughed.
“Ohoho! So, by asking for my help you are saying that you are not strong enough to defeat the Powerpuff Girls by yourself and as such require assistance, and by asking for my assistance you are admitting that I am the superior supervillain, that my evil genius is greater than yours and that I am more capable than you at defeating the Powerpuff Girls!”
“No!” Princess threw a glass from the mini bar by her side at him and he yelped. “I’ve been watching them at thchool. And becauthe I am a mature and well-educated girl far beyond my yearth I can thee clearly the thymptomth of love.”
It took Mojo a moment to decipher the sentence.
“Love?!” he screeched.
“Yeth,” Princess said firmly and daintily sipped at her glass of milk. “Love.”
“How can you be sure it’s love?” Mojo asked. “Are you utterly, one hundred per cent certain beyond a shadow of a doubt, no question about it, that it is love? Maybe they’re sick.”
“No! It’th Love for sure! And whoever it ith, I want him. Becauthe I don’t want them to have him. And thith all thtarted when they fought you the other day. Tho, you mutht know who it ith.”
Mojo frowned.
“I think I might…” he said slowly. “I think I might…”
-----
Jack browsed the shelves and shelves of merchandise in the store with the faces of the girls plastered on. Buttercup boxing gloves, Bubbles colouring crayons, Blossom puzzle books.
Dressing up kits, transfer tattoos, clothes, dolls, games - he even seen Powerpuff brand underwear. These girls were more than a defence system, they were a Mania.
He strolled through the aisles, contemplating the ‘Powerpuff Munch’ cereal, ‘Bubbles Gum’, ‘Buttercup Buttercream Fudge’ and the ‘Blossom Strawberry Sundaes’.
Some little part of his mind wondered if they did Powerpuff sex toys - exactly how twisted was this idol-worship? Did it stop at underwear? - while the rest of him mused on how he could use this to his advantage. He had to get those girls back to Torchwood.
He grabbed a pack of Powerpuff Fizzy Sherbert (“Packs a Power-punch!”) and headed past the Powerpuff Alcopops (Apple, Strawberry and Bubblegum) to the checkout. As he reached the end of the aisle, Jack paused, spotting a familiar figure in the dairy section, contemplating the Powerpuff Milkshakes (available in flavours Green, Pink and Blue, because what milkshake tastes like it says it does anyway?)
A slow grin spread across his face and he altered his course. He kind of fancied something rich in calcium...
-----
The Professor reached for the bottle of milkshake at the same time as Jack did and their hands bumped. They both pulled back instantly, embarrassed.
“I’m sorry - ” they began, then glanced at each other and chuckled.
“It’s alright,” Jack said. “Go ahead.”
The Professor nodded in thanks and Jack studied him as he put the bottle in his basket.
“Hey, sorry to bother, but…Are you Professor Utonium?”
The Professor blinked, then smiled at him.
“Yes, yes I am.”
“Oh my God, wow. I can’t believe this.” He thrust out his hand and, bemused, the Professor shook it. “I’m Jack Harkness, sorry, it’s just…I’m a huge fan. I’ve followed your work for years.” He let out a small laugh. “What’re the odds? I come here to see the results of your work and I meet you over…Blue flavoured milkshake.”
The Professor laughed, looking very pleased with himself. He stood a little straighter and puffed out his chest a little more.
“Well, I’m…very flattered. I’ve never had a fan before.”
“I can’t imagine why not,” Jack said. “You’re even better looking in real life than in the pictures.”
The Professor froze, then flushed bright red.
“O-oh…Thanks…” he mumbled.
“Oh.” Jack looked vaguely embarrassed. “Sorry, that was a line I cross there, wasn’t it? I tend to forget that not everyone - ”
“No, no, it’s quite alright!” the Professor said quickly. “You’re, um, rather handsome yourself…”
Jack smiled at the Professor in delight, then rubbed the back of his head, doing a flawless impersonation of nervousness.
“Hey, look, I’m in town for a little while longer - I’d really like it if we could meet up sometime, for a drink, y’know? I’ve got a lot I wanna talk to you about.”
“That’d be…nice…” the Professor said, still flushed slightly. “I’m usually free…”
“Tonight?” Jack asked.
“I - er - well, yes, actually - ”
“Is 8 good for you?”
“Uh, yes, I - ”
“Great! It’s a date! I’ll pick you up at 8 tonight!” Jack waved and slid past the Professor to the checkout. “See you later!”
“Wait!” the Professor called after him. “You mean a date date?”
Jack turned and grinned at him.
“If you want it to be,” he said with a wink, chuckling as the Professor blushed again.
The people here were almost too easy.
-----
In Mojo’s tower, Princess had settled herself in the comfiest chair, watching haughtily as the monkey paced, muttering to himself.
“Yes, it must be the man in the leather jacket, yes, yes, it cannot be anyone else, it has to be him. As he is the only new variable he is the only candidate, indeed there is no-one else it could be and therefore logically it is he! And if the girls truly are in love with him, that is to say enamoured or infatuated, then he is the perfect instrument with which to bring about their destruction!”
“And humiliation,” Princess chipped in. “Don’t forget humiliation that I got to him firtht!”
“We can hold him to ransom,” Mojo continued, getting into the flow of things. “We can make them give up their powers, their ability to save and protect the city and by which means defeat us, and by giving up their powers in the name of protecting him it would leave the city free for us to destroy!”
“And we wouldn’t return him anyway,” Princess added. “Becauthe he’d be mine!”
Mojo opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by the phone ringing.
“’Scuse me a moment,” he muttered, answering it. “Hello?”
“Hello Mojo…” came a sickly sweet and smooth voice. Mojo froze.
“Who ith it?” demanded Princess. “Who’th interrupting our planning?!”
“H-Him…” Mojo stuttered.
“That’s right,” the devilish villain sing-songed. “ Me.”
“W-what do you want?”
“I’ve been watching you, Mojo,” he said smoothly. “And listening to your plans…I wanted to tell you that the man in the leather jacket is mine!” he snarled fiercely, and Mojo nearly dropped the phone as he jumped. “Leave him alone!”
“B-b-but…” Mojo said helplessly. “The plan!”
“I saw him first,” Him snapped.
“…Can we ransom him once you’ve finished with him?” Mojo asked, a little sulkily. There was a pause while Him considered this.
“Maybe,” he said, then slipped back to his usual sing-song tones. “But I’ll know if you try anything, Mojo. I’ve got the boys watching him.”
“The boys? But I thought it was my turn to have them! I did create them after all!”
“I brought them back to life, I’d win any custody battle,” snapped Him. “Remember! He’s mine!”
And he hung up.
------
Fandom: Powerpuff Girls, Torchwood
Rating: PG-13 (for innuendo and, well, Jack)
Summary: Torchwood sends Jack to investigate a top-class defence system in a small, out-of-the-way city. What he finds is rather unexpected. Jack/Professor Utonium, Jack/Him, one-sided Everyone/Jack.
Notes: For plsteward for the Jack Harkness Crossover Ficathon.
Part One //\\ Part Two //\\ Part 3
Mojo Jojo scowled at the wall of his prison cell, shifting irritably in his itchy striped uniform.
He was not a happy monkey, and it was all the fault of those blasted Powerpuff Girls. And they had help now! He had recognised the man he had seen Blossom with as the police had dragged him off - that is to say he had seen the man before and had remembered him with enough clarity to be able to identify him again at a later date, that later date being today as he had been in the process of being arrested - by which he meant he had been taken into custody by the police and thrown into a prison cell because he had been found guilty of a crime, a crime being the doing of something which disagreed with the laws of this city and also the rest of the United States, although some laws differed between states, for example the interpretation of stalking was debated between some states...however his crime had not been stalking but rather the crime of breaking and entering and theft, or rather he had intended to break and enter but he had been stopped before he could commit his intended crime by those wretched Powerpuff Girls and their new ally. He knew this man was an ally because he had recognised him from when he had saved Buttercup not three days before!
The man in the leather jacket was therefore on the side of the Powerpuff Girls and as such Mojo Jojo's enemy!
The wall exploded just as his convoluted thought processes moved on to plotting exactly what was supposed to be done.
“Well?” Came an impatient, high-pitched, lispy voice. “Are you gonna jutht thit there or are you gonna ethcape?”
Mojo squinted through the slowly clearing cloud of dust.
“Princess?” he hazarded, seeing the outline of the tiny, snooty villain.
“Yeth,” she snapped. “Now get a move on. I haven’t got all day! Time ith money, you know!”
She pulled her pink fur coat tighter around her and toddled off, nose in the air. Mojo hurried after her, clambering into the limousine that was waiting a little way away.
“…Why are you helping me?” he asked, eyeing her suspiciously as the car screeched off.
“Becauthe I want your help,” she said, studying him in disgust. “Don’t think I’m here for fun or becauthe I like you or anything. Thith ith purely Buthineth.”
“Buthineth?” Mojo echoed with a slight, confused frown.
“Yeth. Buthineth. I need your help to defeat the Powerpuff Girlth.”
Mojo stared at her, then laughed.
“Ohoho! So, by asking for my help you are saying that you are not strong enough to defeat the Powerpuff Girls by yourself and as such require assistance, and by asking for my assistance you are admitting that I am the superior supervillain, that my evil genius is greater than yours and that I am more capable than you at defeating the Powerpuff Girls!”
“No!” Princess threw a glass from the mini bar by her side at him and he yelped. “I’ve been watching them at thchool. And becauthe I am a mature and well-educated girl far beyond my yearth I can thee clearly the thymptomth of love.”
It took Mojo a moment to decipher the sentence.
“Love?!” he screeched.
“Yeth,” Princess said firmly and daintily sipped at her glass of milk. “Love.”
“How can you be sure it’s love?” Mojo asked. “Are you utterly, one hundred per cent certain beyond a shadow of a doubt, no question about it, that it is love? Maybe they’re sick.”
“No! It’th Love for sure! And whoever it ith, I want him. Becauthe I don’t want them to have him. And thith all thtarted when they fought you the other day. Tho, you mutht know who it ith.”
Mojo frowned.
“I think I might…” he said slowly. “I think I might…”
-----
Jack browsed the shelves and shelves of merchandise in the store with the faces of the girls plastered on. Buttercup boxing gloves, Bubbles colouring crayons, Blossom puzzle books.
Dressing up kits, transfer tattoos, clothes, dolls, games - he even seen Powerpuff brand underwear. These girls were more than a defence system, they were a Mania.
He strolled through the aisles, contemplating the ‘Powerpuff Munch’ cereal, ‘Bubbles Gum’, ‘Buttercup Buttercream Fudge’ and the ‘Blossom Strawberry Sundaes’.
Some little part of his mind wondered if they did Powerpuff sex toys - exactly how twisted was this idol-worship? Did it stop at underwear? - while the rest of him mused on how he could use this to his advantage. He had to get those girls back to Torchwood.
He grabbed a pack of Powerpuff Fizzy Sherbert (“Packs a Power-punch!”) and headed past the Powerpuff Alcopops (Apple, Strawberry and Bubblegum) to the checkout. As he reached the end of the aisle, Jack paused, spotting a familiar figure in the dairy section, contemplating the Powerpuff Milkshakes (available in flavours Green, Pink and Blue, because what milkshake tastes like it says it does anyway?)
A slow grin spread across his face and he altered his course. He kind of fancied something rich in calcium...
-----
The Professor reached for the bottle of milkshake at the same time as Jack did and their hands bumped. They both pulled back instantly, embarrassed.
“I’m sorry - ” they began, then glanced at each other and chuckled.
“It’s alright,” Jack said. “Go ahead.”
The Professor nodded in thanks and Jack studied him as he put the bottle in his basket.
“Hey, sorry to bother, but…Are you Professor Utonium?”
The Professor blinked, then smiled at him.
“Yes, yes I am.”
“Oh my God, wow. I can’t believe this.” He thrust out his hand and, bemused, the Professor shook it. “I’m Jack Harkness, sorry, it’s just…I’m a huge fan. I’ve followed your work for years.” He let out a small laugh. “What’re the odds? I come here to see the results of your work and I meet you over…Blue flavoured milkshake.”
The Professor laughed, looking very pleased with himself. He stood a little straighter and puffed out his chest a little more.
“Well, I’m…very flattered. I’ve never had a fan before.”
“I can’t imagine why not,” Jack said. “You’re even better looking in real life than in the pictures.”
The Professor froze, then flushed bright red.
“O-oh…Thanks…” he mumbled.
“Oh.” Jack looked vaguely embarrassed. “Sorry, that was a line I cross there, wasn’t it? I tend to forget that not everyone - ”
“No, no, it’s quite alright!” the Professor said quickly. “You’re, um, rather handsome yourself…”
Jack smiled at the Professor in delight, then rubbed the back of his head, doing a flawless impersonation of nervousness.
“Hey, look, I’m in town for a little while longer - I’d really like it if we could meet up sometime, for a drink, y’know? I’ve got a lot I wanna talk to you about.”
“That’d be…nice…” the Professor said, still flushed slightly. “I’m usually free…”
“Tonight?” Jack asked.
“I - er - well, yes, actually - ”
“Is 8 good for you?”
“Uh, yes, I - ”
“Great! It’s a date! I’ll pick you up at 8 tonight!” Jack waved and slid past the Professor to the checkout. “See you later!”
“Wait!” the Professor called after him. “You mean a date date?”
Jack turned and grinned at him.
“If you want it to be,” he said with a wink, chuckling as the Professor blushed again.
The people here were almost too easy.
-----
In Mojo’s tower, Princess had settled herself in the comfiest chair, watching haughtily as the monkey paced, muttering to himself.
“Yes, it must be the man in the leather jacket, yes, yes, it cannot be anyone else, it has to be him. As he is the only new variable he is the only candidate, indeed there is no-one else it could be and therefore logically it is he! And if the girls truly are in love with him, that is to say enamoured or infatuated, then he is the perfect instrument with which to bring about their destruction!”
“And humiliation,” Princess chipped in. “Don’t forget humiliation that I got to him firtht!”
“We can hold him to ransom,” Mojo continued, getting into the flow of things. “We can make them give up their powers, their ability to save and protect the city and by which means defeat us, and by giving up their powers in the name of protecting him it would leave the city free for us to destroy!”
“And we wouldn’t return him anyway,” Princess added. “Becauthe he’d be mine!”
Mojo opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by the phone ringing.
“’Scuse me a moment,” he muttered, answering it. “Hello?”
“Hello Mojo…” came a sickly sweet and smooth voice. Mojo froze.
“Who ith it?” demanded Princess. “Who’th interrupting our planning?!”
“H-Him…” Mojo stuttered.
“That’s right,” the devilish villain sing-songed. “ Me.”
“W-what do you want?”
“I’ve been watching you, Mojo,” he said smoothly. “And listening to your plans…I wanted to tell you that the man in the leather jacket is mine!” he snarled fiercely, and Mojo nearly dropped the phone as he jumped. “Leave him alone!”
“B-b-but…” Mojo said helplessly. “The plan!”
“I saw him first,” Him snapped.
“…Can we ransom him once you’ve finished with him?” Mojo asked, a little sulkily. There was a pause while Him considered this.
“Maybe,” he said, then slipped back to his usual sing-song tones. “But I’ll know if you try anything, Mojo. I’ve got the boys watching him.”
“The boys? But I thought it was my turn to have them! I did create them after all!”
“I brought them back to life, I’d win any custody battle,” snapped Him. “Remember! He’s mine!”
And he hung up.
------