A Man About Townsville - 1/8?
Title: A Man About Townsville - 1/8?
Fandom: Powerpuff Girls, Torchwood
Rating: PG-13 (for innuendo and, well, Jack)
Summary: Torchwood sends Jack to investigate a top-class defence system in a small, out-of-the-way city. What he finds is rather unexpected. Jack/Professor Utonium, Jack/Him, one-sided Everyone/Jack.
Notes: I can lay the blame partially at the door of plsteward for this. I say, partially, because, well... She asked for Him/Jack or Professor/Jack, request- crack!fic I just want it as silly as you can make it, and it was my fault it expanded into a multi-chaptered...crack explosion. For the Jack Harkness Crossover Ficathon, posted a little early (this part, anyway) to get at least something up before I head to University.
plsteward, I hope you like it!
The city of Townsville was bustling and busy as Jack paid the taxi driver and stepped out into the bright sunshine. His bags had been taken directly to the apartment Torchwood had acquired for him, so now all that was left was to get a feel for the city and find the target.
The streets were impeccably clean and the people were friendly. Jack was used to getting smiles in the streets, but not quite these types - pleasant and amiable, as opposed to appreciative and predatory, although he got a good share of those too, which he returned quite happily.
He pulled the photograph out of his pocket and studied the man he was supposed to be finding - Professor Utonium. A tall, slim guy with black hair and a pleasant smile. He certainly looked harmless enough, but Jack knew from experience that that meant nothing. This Professor had supposedly created the defence system for this city, and if it was as good as Intelligence said it was, then Torchwood had a position for him. And even if it wasn’t, the guy was kinda hot, so the trip wouldn’t be a total waste.
Jack had just made up his mind to go talk to the pretty blonde watching him from across the road to see if she knew anything (and if not, it would only be polite to ask for her phone number), when a bloodcurdling shriek split the air and the street was rocked with the force of a distant explosion. Before he even fully registered what he was doing, he was running towards the plume of smoke that was starting to curl above the buildings, his hand already drawing his blaster from the holster at the small of his back (the compact laser deluxe was in its usual place, he had a retractable laser-knife in his left boot and a few Serian Chrome Stiletto knives up the sleeve of his leather jacket. He wouldn’t say he was paranoid, but he’d learned to be prepared. The best part was - customs couldn’t detect any of them). Hopefully he wouldn’t have to use it. Who knew? Maybe he’d be getting a preview of that defence system sooner than anticipated.
He sprinted along the street, weaving through people who didn’t seem overly concerned about the sounds of destruction, until he turned a corner and found the cause.
A giant robot was tearing up the street - it looked like it had been heading for the bank a little way along from it - and over the com system, whoever was inside was laughing gleefully, seemingly at the contents of its hand. A little girl. A little, black haired girl who, against all expectations wasn’t crying out in terror, but was instead glaring at the robot in contempt.
Before Jack could dwell on that for too long though, the robot flung her away, hard, sending her ploughing through the air towards the pavement.
Jack ran. He jumped, and he landed, rolling into a crouch, clutching the girl to his chest with one arm, while his other hand still tightly gripped his blaster. She stared up at him, her huge green eyes wide with astonishment.
“It’s okay,” Jack soothed. “I’ve got you, you’re alright now.”
Her green dress was slightly torn around the hem, but other than that she seemed unharmed. Jack set her gently on the ground and checked the settings on his blaster. Didn’t look like the defence was going to show up in time. He supposed it was up to him to save the day.
“Okay sweetheart,” he told the girl, who was still staring at him with a funny expression. “You need to run as fast as you can back home, alright? You’ll be safe there, and I’ll take care of this - ”
“Buttercup!” came a high-pitched cry from somewhere above and behind him. The little girl seemed to snap back to attention.
“Thanks mister,” she muttered, and then to Jack’s amazement, she took off, flying over his head like a bullet, trailing pastel green light behind her. He whirled around and watched, far beyond astonished, as the little girl, along with two others - a blonde and a redhead, also flying - tore the arms off the robot, then punted it high into the air before blowing it up using lasers. From their eyes.
Jack stared after them as they disappeared over the buildings leaving trails of pastel green, baby blue and candyfloss pink, like something out of an acid trip in a baby store.
“What,” he demanded, “the Hell was that?”
“The Powerpuff Girls,” said a little old lady helpfully, unearthing herself from under a bush while Jack tucked his blaster back into its holster.
“The what?” he asked, as he helped her up.
“The Powerpuff Girls,” the little old lady said. “They’re superheroes,” she added, “and such nice girls. Always saying please and thank you, and they protect the city so well…”
The lady carried on talking to herself as she tottered off. Jack frowned in the direction the girls had disappeared in.
They couldn’t be the defence system, could they?
-----
As Jack headed further down the street to investigate the damage caused by the fight, he was watched by several intrigued onlookers.
Several of them were very taken with his looks, most of them by his actions and all of them wanted to know why he was working with the Powerpuff Girls.
Jack was unaware of this. He was still wondering if maybe they’d pumped some kind of drug into the air in the cabin on the flight over.
-----
“Buttercup? Earth to Buttercup! Hello?”
Buttercup continued to stare out of the bedroom window, lost in thought until a stuffed unicorn bounced off the back of her head, startling her.
“Hey!” she cried, turning to glare at her sisters, who were staring at her expectantly. “What?” she demanded.
“You’ve been acting really weird all afternoon,” Blossom said, as if that explained everything. “What’s up with you?”
“What’s up with me?” Buttercup echoed. “I’m not the one going around throwing toys at people for no reason!”
“I had a reason!” Blossom retorted hotly. “You were acting weird. We wanted to know why.”
“It all started after that guy caught you,” Bubbles said sagely, then she squeaked. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?!”
“No!” Buttercup screwed up her face at the very idea. “What makes you think something’s wrong? Can’t a girl be quiet once in a while? Jeez…”
“She’s got a point,” Bubbles said, as Buttercup folded her arms irritably and scowled at them.
Blossom didn’t look convinced, but allowed Bubbles to drag her away to play dolls, leaving Buttercup with her thoughts.
In particular, her thoughts of the guy who saved her. The guy who was strong and fast and tough, who wore a leather jacket and smiled at her while he held her gently and told her everything would be okay. The guy who’d tried to tell her to get to safety while he pulled out a gun to go save the day himself.
She blushed and turned to look out of the window to hide it.
The Fairy Tales the Professor read them always talked about a knight in shining armour who rescued the princess. Of course, nowadays, shining armour would be a bit impractical.
Leather was way cooler, anyway.
-----
“I swear to God,” Jack insisted. “Three little girls.”
“You saw three little girls flying around fighting giant robots?” Gwen repeated dryly, watching him from the view-screen as he padded around the room. “How much did you have to drink on that flight?”
“I’m serious!”
“Of course you are. Sorry. I didn’t recognise your Serious Face right away. I don’t see it that often.”
“I’m serious all the time!” Jack protested, flopping into the chair in front of the vid-phone.
“Are you really?” Gwen quirked an eyebrow at him.
“Sure I am. For instance…” He cracked a charming grin at her. “I seriously want to sleep with you.”
Gwen flushed and opened her mouth to retort, then changed her mind and looked at something off-screen instead. The grin fell from Jack’s face.
“Stop it, Gwen,” he warned her.
“I’m not doing anything,” she said.
“I’m not a nice guy,” he said. “You don’t know what I’ve done.”
“I know,” she forced out through gritted teeth.
“I like you, and I know you’ll only get hurt. I warned you - I can’t give you anything if you fall in lo - ”
“I know!” Gwen snapped, glaring at him and flushing. “Believe me, it’s not something I’m going to forget in a hurry. Keep an eye on those girls.”
She stabbed a button off-screen with barely-suppressed violence and the connection was severed. Jack sighed and took a long swallow of his beer.
Why did they never listen when he told them not to fall in love with him?
-----
Fandom: Powerpuff Girls, Torchwood
Rating: PG-13 (for innuendo and, well, Jack)
Summary: Torchwood sends Jack to investigate a top-class defence system in a small, out-of-the-way city. What he finds is rather unexpected. Jack/Professor Utonium, Jack/Him, one-sided Everyone/Jack.
Notes: I can lay the blame partially at the door of plsteward for this. I say, partially, because, well... She asked for Him/Jack or Professor/Jack, request- crack!fic I just want it as silly as you can make it, and it was my fault it expanded into a multi-chaptered...crack explosion. For the Jack Harkness Crossover Ficathon, posted a little early (this part, anyway) to get at least something up before I head to University.
plsteward, I hope you like it!
The city of Townsville was bustling and busy as Jack paid the taxi driver and stepped out into the bright sunshine. His bags had been taken directly to the apartment Torchwood had acquired for him, so now all that was left was to get a feel for the city and find the target.
The streets were impeccably clean and the people were friendly. Jack was used to getting smiles in the streets, but not quite these types - pleasant and amiable, as opposed to appreciative and predatory, although he got a good share of those too, which he returned quite happily.
He pulled the photograph out of his pocket and studied the man he was supposed to be finding - Professor Utonium. A tall, slim guy with black hair and a pleasant smile. He certainly looked harmless enough, but Jack knew from experience that that meant nothing. This Professor had supposedly created the defence system for this city, and if it was as good as Intelligence said it was, then Torchwood had a position for him. And even if it wasn’t, the guy was kinda hot, so the trip wouldn’t be a total waste.
Jack had just made up his mind to go talk to the pretty blonde watching him from across the road to see if she knew anything (and if not, it would only be polite to ask for her phone number), when a bloodcurdling shriek split the air and the street was rocked with the force of a distant explosion. Before he even fully registered what he was doing, he was running towards the plume of smoke that was starting to curl above the buildings, his hand already drawing his blaster from the holster at the small of his back (the compact laser deluxe was in its usual place, he had a retractable laser-knife in his left boot and a few Serian Chrome Stiletto knives up the sleeve of his leather jacket. He wouldn’t say he was paranoid, but he’d learned to be prepared. The best part was - customs couldn’t detect any of them). Hopefully he wouldn’t have to use it. Who knew? Maybe he’d be getting a preview of that defence system sooner than anticipated.
He sprinted along the street, weaving through people who didn’t seem overly concerned about the sounds of destruction, until he turned a corner and found the cause.
A giant robot was tearing up the street - it looked like it had been heading for the bank a little way along from it - and over the com system, whoever was inside was laughing gleefully, seemingly at the contents of its hand. A little girl. A little, black haired girl who, against all expectations wasn’t crying out in terror, but was instead glaring at the robot in contempt.
Before Jack could dwell on that for too long though, the robot flung her away, hard, sending her ploughing through the air towards the pavement.
Jack ran. He jumped, and he landed, rolling into a crouch, clutching the girl to his chest with one arm, while his other hand still tightly gripped his blaster. She stared up at him, her huge green eyes wide with astonishment.
“It’s okay,” Jack soothed. “I’ve got you, you’re alright now.”
Her green dress was slightly torn around the hem, but other than that she seemed unharmed. Jack set her gently on the ground and checked the settings on his blaster. Didn’t look like the defence was going to show up in time. He supposed it was up to him to save the day.
“Okay sweetheart,” he told the girl, who was still staring at him with a funny expression. “You need to run as fast as you can back home, alright? You’ll be safe there, and I’ll take care of this - ”
“Buttercup!” came a high-pitched cry from somewhere above and behind him. The little girl seemed to snap back to attention.
“Thanks mister,” she muttered, and then to Jack’s amazement, she took off, flying over his head like a bullet, trailing pastel green light behind her. He whirled around and watched, far beyond astonished, as the little girl, along with two others - a blonde and a redhead, also flying - tore the arms off the robot, then punted it high into the air before blowing it up using lasers. From their eyes.
Jack stared after them as they disappeared over the buildings leaving trails of pastel green, baby blue and candyfloss pink, like something out of an acid trip in a baby store.
“What,” he demanded, “the Hell was that?”
“The Powerpuff Girls,” said a little old lady helpfully, unearthing herself from under a bush while Jack tucked his blaster back into its holster.
“The what?” he asked, as he helped her up.
“The Powerpuff Girls,” the little old lady said. “They’re superheroes,” she added, “and such nice girls. Always saying please and thank you, and they protect the city so well…”
The lady carried on talking to herself as she tottered off. Jack frowned in the direction the girls had disappeared in.
They couldn’t be the defence system, could they?
-----
As Jack headed further down the street to investigate the damage caused by the fight, he was watched by several intrigued onlookers.
Several of them were very taken with his looks, most of them by his actions and all of them wanted to know why he was working with the Powerpuff Girls.
Jack was unaware of this. He was still wondering if maybe they’d pumped some kind of drug into the air in the cabin on the flight over.
-----
“Buttercup? Earth to Buttercup! Hello?”
Buttercup continued to stare out of the bedroom window, lost in thought until a stuffed unicorn bounced off the back of her head, startling her.
“Hey!” she cried, turning to glare at her sisters, who were staring at her expectantly. “What?” she demanded.
“You’ve been acting really weird all afternoon,” Blossom said, as if that explained everything. “What’s up with you?”
“What’s up with me?” Buttercup echoed. “I’m not the one going around throwing toys at people for no reason!”
“I had a reason!” Blossom retorted hotly. “You were acting weird. We wanted to know why.”
“It all started after that guy caught you,” Bubbles said sagely, then she squeaked. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?!”
“No!” Buttercup screwed up her face at the very idea. “What makes you think something’s wrong? Can’t a girl be quiet once in a while? Jeez…”
“She’s got a point,” Bubbles said, as Buttercup folded her arms irritably and scowled at them.
Blossom didn’t look convinced, but allowed Bubbles to drag her away to play dolls, leaving Buttercup with her thoughts.
In particular, her thoughts of the guy who saved her. The guy who was strong and fast and tough, who wore a leather jacket and smiled at her while he held her gently and told her everything would be okay. The guy who’d tried to tell her to get to safety while he pulled out a gun to go save the day himself.
She blushed and turned to look out of the window to hide it.
The Fairy Tales the Professor read them always talked about a knight in shining armour who rescued the princess. Of course, nowadays, shining armour would be a bit impractical.
Leather was way cooler, anyway.
-----
“I swear to God,” Jack insisted. “Three little girls.”
“You saw three little girls flying around fighting giant robots?” Gwen repeated dryly, watching him from the view-screen as he padded around the room. “How much did you have to drink on that flight?”
“I’m serious!”
“Of course you are. Sorry. I didn’t recognise your Serious Face right away. I don’t see it that often.”
“I’m serious all the time!” Jack protested, flopping into the chair in front of the vid-phone.
“Are you really?” Gwen quirked an eyebrow at him.
“Sure I am. For instance…” He cracked a charming grin at her. “I seriously want to sleep with you.”
Gwen flushed and opened her mouth to retort, then changed her mind and looked at something off-screen instead. The grin fell from Jack’s face.
“Stop it, Gwen,” he warned her.
“I’m not doing anything,” she said.
“I’m not a nice guy,” he said. “You don’t know what I’ve done.”
“I know,” she forced out through gritted teeth.
“I like you, and I know you’ll only get hurt. I warned you - I can’t give you anything if you fall in lo - ”
“I know!” Gwen snapped, glaring at him and flushing. “Believe me, it’s not something I’m going to forget in a hurry. Keep an eye on those girls.”
She stabbed a button off-screen with barely-suppressed violence and the connection was severed. Jack sighed and took a long swallow of his beer.
Why did they never listen when he told them not to fall in love with him?
-----