"His dark love would be my best reward..."

[mythosidhe]

I was listening to Jane Eyre: the Musical on the train going to work last night, and it struck me that one of the songs, 'Secret Soul', is a fairly concise representation of the internal conflict faced by nearly every heroine in Gothic literature. The theme is of course explored repeatedly by Jane throughout the show, but this is the first time she gives voice to it...

Well anyway, it's stuck in my head now, so there's only one thing for it:

What can I do now, my precious Lord?
His dark love would be my best reward
I know I should not dare to go
Deeper in his madness
But it's like a field I must run through
No one's words will make me love him less
How much can I stand I dare not guess
The secret voice that speaks to me
Tells me he's in danger
Looking to the dust for tenderness

Deep in my secret soul
I stand alone
The purpose of why I'm here
Is still unknown
And I can't help but sense
The darkness in his mind
But I keep looking for his goodness
Afraid of what I'll find
My heart moves through his unquiet sea
I pray a wave will come and carry me
Closer to his troubled tide
Waters of his fury
But how can I swim this great divide?

Deep in my secret soul
I cry his tears
I weather his angry voice
I feel his fears
His life has infected every wound
And every pore
I feel his mystery possess me
And I pray that mercy's hand
Will bless me

Deep in his secret soul
His past is cursed
I summon my deepest will
To still his thirst
God give me the strength to go
The journey I take must first begin
Deep within his secret soul