I wish I'd said that ...
One of the joys of going back to Academic study* is finding, in among the many dry texts and articles needed for background reading, sudden treasures that strike a deep and unexpected chord. Tonight I found a passage that sang straight to my heart - and in the most of unlikely places too. Lurking in an introduction to a book that discusses how to write up and present research was this:
At fifty [almost]
I am already into my life
and my hours are too few to spend without passion.
And at [almost] fifty
I am tired of whittling my voice to fit incongruous spaces
and impatient with softening the edges of what I say.
At [almost] fifty
I am [almost] willing to risk revolution-
I am well into my life
and my words are too many to write without passion.
And my words, at fifty, are expansive-
I breathe in and the scent of stars swirls with mockorange.
I reach to pick up a cone dropped by a great white pine
and the tips of my fingers meet the cold at the edge
of the universe.
I bite into the firm, green skin of a ripened pear
and my tongue recoils at the sharp grit of a falling star.
I sit with my fingers on the keyboard
and words from a thousand generations clamor to be spoken.
At fifty I am willing to risk metamorphosis
and my hours are too few to spend without play.
At [just past] fifty I give you my words.
They are without boundaries
the scent of ripe pears and mockorange
the cold of hyperspace,
the sharp grit of falling stars,
words of a thousand generations' passion and play clamoring
at the edge of the universe-
revolution
for your pleasure.
(From the forward of: Writing the Qualitative Dissertation: Understanding by Doing. Contributors: Judith M. Meloy - author. Publisher: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. Place of Publication: Mahwah, NJ. Publication Year: 2002. )
Considering the birthday that's heading towards me at furious pace, I really, really wish I'd written that ...
*yes, there are some joys - despite hours of work, including tedious transcription and analysis, there are moments of enlightenment that make it (mostly) worthwhile.