[From at_bothendsverse]
Everything I’ve ever wanted is here…and I can’t have it...
Things with Lindsey are…new and exciting, it scares me to be honest but I don’t know if I really want to run from them.
I’m not saying I’m falling for him or anything like that. It is too soon to be even thinking that. I mean we’ve been together on maybe three dates and one lunch kind of date.
I really like spending time with him, he makes me laugh and I find myself becoming comfortable around him. I don’t sound like Elmer Fudd around him anymore, which is something I never thought I’d get rid of.
There’s fear that I live with every day, it does nothing but grow as the days go on. The day I turn twenty keeps getting closer and closer, it’s less then five weeks away and I haven’t found any answers. None of my mother’s relatives will give me any information and it’s disheartening and frustrating.
It seems to be that the only ways out is to leave or break it off with Lindsey. Neither of which I want to do.
For the past two weeks we have been emailing each other or talking briefly on the phone. He seems to be at work an awful lot lately, and one of the great things is that I’ve gotten to know a lot about him and him me, even though we are respectively keeping each other at arms length right now.
We both have a secret, that’s ok for him not to tell me everything, but I doubt that it’s anything like what I haven’t told him.
I just don’t know what to do anymore…I feel disoriented and confused.
Things with Lindsey are…new and exciting, it scares me to be honest but I don’t know if I really want to run from them.
I’m not saying I’m falling for him or anything like that. It is too soon to be even thinking that. I mean we’ve been together on maybe three dates and one lunch kind of date.
I really like spending time with him, he makes me laugh and I find myself becoming comfortable around him. I don’t sound like Elmer Fudd around him anymore, which is something I never thought I’d get rid of.
There’s fear that I live with every day, it does nothing but grow as the days go on. The day I turn twenty keeps getting closer and closer, it’s less then five weeks away and I haven’t found any answers. None of my mother’s relatives will give me any information and it’s disheartening and frustrating.
It seems to be that the only ways out is to leave or break it off with Lindsey. Neither of which I want to do.
For the past two weeks we have been emailing each other or talking briefly on the phone. He seems to be at work an awful lot lately, and one of the great things is that I’ve gotten to know a lot about him and him me, even though we are respectively keeping each other at arms length right now.
We both have a secret, that’s ok for him not to tell me everything, but I doubt that it’s anything like what I haven’t told him.
I just don’t know what to do anymore…I feel disoriented and confused.